Joke

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“Jeorge W bush's presidency.”
~ Joke on joke
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Joke is a legal term denoting a common defense for violent criminal acts. If you don't know the definition of a joke, you are on the wrong website. Please try Conservapedia.

Joke in American Law[edit]

Following the American Revolution, American courts continued to exercise precedents from English Common Law. Jokes became the law of the land after the Whiskey Rebellion ended with revolting farmers say that it had just been a joke.

This standard went unchallenged until the botched assassination of Thomas Jefferson by one of his busty negro sex slaves, Sally Hemming in 1811. Hemming attacked Jefferson's penis with a rusty butter knife, requiring several stabs to remove the former President's manhood.

Jefferson challenged the assertion that the botched assassination was just a joke.

Somehow everybody died trying to fly,so the case went all the way to the Supreme Court. Writing for a 5-1 majority, Chief Justice John Marshall ruled in favor of Hemming, noting, "While he might not get a particular joke, who the fuck is is Thomas Jefferson to tell anyone what may or may not be funny?" The dissenting opinion, by Justice Samuel Chase, answered Marshall's question, "Well, unless you build a time machine and take her to 1963, the answer is that he owns her! Duh!"hahahaha

Joke continued to be a cornerstone of American law until the civil rights movement of the 1950s. Joke was invoked to excuse the relocation of the Native Americans, the Civil War, FDR's polio, segregation, slavery, Howard Taft's weight problem, and America's involvement in World War I.

Not so Civil Rights[edit]

During the 1950s, the civil rights movement came to prominence. Black leaders challenged white authority to enforce segregation.

The civil rights movement came to a head in the 1955 case Brown v Board of Education, when a black student's family said that making a little black girl walk past a better white school to get to an inferior black school was wrong. Or at least rude, as she was then unable to work as much in the family house.

The Supreme Court agreed, with Justice Abe Fortis writing, "Come the club on. The least a joke needs is to be funny. This wasn't funny. It was just cruel and coming dumb."

Return of joke[edit]

Joke was largely considered to be dead in American law, until 2000, when George W. Bush was "elected" president following a disputed election.

Since then, joke has been applied liberally as a precedent for everything the Bush administration has done. Aside from Bush's election, the war in Iraq, September 11th, Hurricane Katrina, racism, rampant poverty, corporate greed, the Republican Party, threats to go to Iran, and three NFL championships by the New England Patriots have all been dismissed as really poor jokes.

Some scholars note that these don't appear to be jokes, and in fact are just cruel and dumb acts by cruel and dumb people. Many people believe these scholars to be joking.

Location and Now this funny Jokes[edit]

Creation[edit]

St Peter is frantic, he hasn't been able to find God for a week. On Sunday God turns up looking exhausted but very pleased with himself. St Peter askes where he's been, so God takes him outside the gates and points down and says 'see that green and blue thing down there? I made that, it's perfect, it's all about opposites, good and bad, warm and cold, highs and lows but do you see that big ol' place there? Thats the best place down there, it's perfect, it's white and beautiful, the people are amazing and the beer is great, I called that Canada' Peter is confused and says 'God if its all about opposites, how come this place is so good?' God replies, 'You should see the bangers I put beside them.'

Now this funny[edit]

A woman is throwing a themed fancy dress party and the theme is moods, so later that night there is a knock at the door and the person at the door is in all red he states that he has come as anger. The next person is in all green and he says he has come as envy. then the door bell goes and when she opens it there is a 2 men there. 1 standing with his willy in a bowl of custard and the other with his knob inside a pear, looking shocked she asks what have they come as, to which 1 man answers I'm fucking despair and he's fucking disgusted.

Now this funny (part 2)[edit]

A man who lives with just his mother goes on holiday and leaves his beloved cat at home. He asks his brother to pop in every day at the 2 o'clock and he'll ring up ("phone" for the Americans) to check on things. The next day comes and the man rings up, the first thing he says is "Hows the cat?" "Oh," his bro replys, "She's dead." The man cries hysterically and when he finally calms down he says, "You should have broke it to me gently on the first day. You should have said, "Yeah, yeah she's fine." Then, on the next day you should have said, "Well theres a problem she's stuck on the roof and we are trying to get her down." and then on the next day you could have said, "Its not looking good but we are still trying", and then on the last day you could have said "I'm sorry but she didn't make it...""
The brother thinks for a bit and says "Yeah, that would have been better."
The man suddenly remembers his mother; "Hows mum" he says.
"Oh! ..... Erm .... She's on the roof!"

What's worse than 2 dead babies in a basket? One dead baby in two baskets. And what's even worse? Two baskets in one dead baby.

A little girl finds her puppy dead, laying on it's back and it's legs in the air. She asks her dad why it is like that and her dad told her that it was dead and that it's legs were like that so Jesus could pick it up and take it to heaven.

The next day, the little girl ran to her dad and said "dad, mum nearly died today. She was on her back with her legs in the air shouting ' Oh Jesus, I'm coming!!!! I'm cooooommmmminnnnnnng!!!!!!' and if the milkman hadn't been holding her down, we would have lost her.

Rascist Jokes[edit]

I can't even imagine what it's like when Blacks get all February on you!

I go to sleep before the sun comes down just so that I don't want to think darkness!

Nice going, Blanco Nino!

What can a pizza do but a black man can’t: A pizza can feed a family of four.

Have you heard of a black guy on that’s Incredible?: He had a job and knew who’s his father.

What’s black, yellow and falls down a cliff: A school bus full of black kids.

How does a wealthy white guy gets hurt? He has tennis elbow.

What do you call a Jewish football game: To get the quarter back.

You heard UFO sightings peak around Mexican holidays? Those illegal aliens need to go back to their world.

How come the Cuban national swim team didn’t show up in the olympics?: They all swam north.

What’s a Puerto Rican credit card called? A knife.

What is a rich American Indian? He carries around a blanket and a wooden nickel in his denim jean pocket.

How does the Chinese kids in class get so ahead in test scores? They look over white kids’ papers through slanted eyes…you can’t tell they’re cheating.

and Why was the Arab men so unhappy? His jacket didn’t go off or didn’t explode.


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