Jrock

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There's no difference between rock and Jrock except it's JAPANESE SO YEAH!!(JROCK IS NOT EMO)

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Jrock.

(Warning: this is complete bullshit) Jrock is a genre of rock music that originated in Japan in the late 1980s. The J in Jrock stands for "Jacking off". All Jrock is completely original and takes no influence from any source, except maybe anime. Jrock bands generally play music, but are most noted for their flashy appearances. Jrock was "almost single-handedly" invented by Mana of the band Malice Mizer according to most sources, though some sources state that it was invented by Miyavi. In some contexts, it was thought to have been invented by X Japan, but this theory was disproven when Japanese TV network NHK aired footage of George W. Bush passing along the secrets of Jrock to X Japan member Yoshiki. Some elitists refer to Jrock as "Visual Kei", as a reference to the more visual idea of the whole movement, which no longer focuses on music but more of the style of dress associated with it. Though some bands have attempted to overcome the conformist situation, their music was not socially accpeted, and resulted in a further collapse of Japanese rock culture.

Yoshiki thanking true Jrock inventor George W. Bush for passing on his secrets.

Characteristics[edit]

Jrock band members, referred to as "Jrockers", all wear makeup and sometimes elaborate costumes, which means they all look like girls. Jrockers believe themselves to be unisex, and are therefore all subject to use in any number of yaoi pairings (arranged by the Japanese government, and occasionally by fans.) Jrock songs have vague and often dark, morbid gothic themes and incorporate at least one line of Engrish. When performing live, band members often engage in fanservice, a type of sex act.

Common traits shared by Jrockers are easy to spot. The higher ups, or alpha male of the species have black rings around their eyes, possibly done with liquid eyeliner, or on lower incomes caused by too much focus on the wardrobe, coal. Another blatantly visable marking is their hair, which every real Jrocker will insist is natural. It grows in pointed, awkward swatches that come in almost surreal colors. A bald Jrocker is the product of too much bleach, used, as Jrockers claim when asked, to "cleanse" the hair. Too many cleansings will kill the roots, rendering the user an outsider to their culture and in dire need of hair tonic.

Bands[edit]

A Jrock band.

Counting all the existing Jrock bands would be like sticking your hand into a tank full of lobsters. Sedated, crippled lobsters, however, for at the moment there's only three or four with articles featured on this site.

The Movement[edit]

Though some believe that Jrock is just a clever scheme put into action by the tobacco industry to recruit teenagers for their add campaigns, this has yet to be proven. Jrock is also a movement,cult, and an organization.

Formatting[edit]

In accordance with the laws of Japanese Aesthetics™, if reproduced, all words with English or Engrish letters (including punctuation) used by Jrock bands must be written in exactly the same manner as originally written by the Jrockers themselves.

Examples:

I'd like to point out that "Dir En Grey" doesn't exist, the correct is "Dir en grey".
It's "Kagrra," not "Kagrra" dumbass.  They changed their name a long time ago, where have you been?

It's also to be noted that Jrock is not only rock really, it includes other music genres such as Jpop, Jmusic, Jreggae, Jrap, Jsalsa, Jtango, Jclassic, in fact, anything must be used with a J before, so you have to wear Jpanties and buy a Jcomputer if you want to get into Jrock.

Prominent individuals[edit]

hide wants to know who the author of this faggotry is.

The most creative and original artist in all of Jrock is undoubtedly Kyo of Dir en grey. This, though, only became true after he betrayed and dethroned the former holder of the title, Yoshiki. Another well-known Jrocker, Malice Mizer founder Mana, is credited with creating the fashion trend known as Gothic Lolita as well as the word adbent. Some sources also credit him as the origin of the letter M and the elitism movement. Miyavi didn't create anything, (unless you count Neovisualizm, but no one sees a difference between that and VK so actually he didn't create anything) but is well-known to Jrock fans as "the next hyde". Oh, and hyde is dead.

PS hyde is from L'arc~en~ciel. It is hide who has died.

Professor Shlooferdüdel is the uncontested scholastic leader in the field of Jrock.

Notable Jrock albums[edit]

blah.