Judy Garland

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Jump to: navigation, search
Garland, shortly after the operation to remove her thighs, supported by Gene Kelly, Minister for Tap Dancing, and some guy in a uniform.

Contents

[edit] War history

Britain's wartime prime minister in 1940-45 and 1951-55, Garland was known for her remarkable cigar consumption and liking for midgets. She commanded an entire battalion (the 49th Lollipop Brigade) of little people in World War I, where she won accolades including the seldom-awarded Ruby Slippers award for her brave, single-handed thwarting of The Wicked Kaiser of the West and his flying monkeys Contrary to popular reports, her casting couch experiences did include and by the end of filming of "Wizard of Oz" most definitely liked it up the ass.

[edit] Post-political film career

Garland starred in several movies before her tragic and untimely death in 1969. Her credits include:

"One night in Oz" Directed By Hillel Slovak (1948) "Scarecrows Woody" Directed By Hillel Slovak (1954) "The Wizard Drops his pants" Directed By Roman Khlebnikov (1963)

She had a very close relationship with Director Roman Khlebnikov, eventually falling in love with his somewhat hideous attributes in the early 1960s. She fathered three of his children, who interestingly had sloth like appearences. Judy later learned that Khlebnikov was extremely gay and had been involved in several demonstrations promoting gay rights. This consequently lead to her death in 1969.

[edit] Death

On March 17, 1969, Judy Garland was found dead in her apartment in Compton, California. She had been accused of trafficking drugs and "Lollipop Kid" porn. Garland was a favorite on the south central hitlist because of debts owed to several Los Angeles gangs. There is much controversey surrounding her death, but most believe that she was murdered by her long time nemesis, the Wicked Witch of the Westside.

[edit] See also

13576 Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)

Personal tools
on Uncyclopedia