Princess Julie Andrews von Trapp

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“Uppercut! Yeah, the uppercut!!”

~ A drunk Julie Andrews on boxing


~ Eloise on Julie Andrews

Known as the "Austrian Singing Princess", Princess Julie Andrews von Trapp is a world famous yodeler and inventor of the musical scale. Married to Walt Disney, in her later years she lived in a house made entirely from Musical tuning forks. Julie Andrews was canonized the patron saint of supercalifragilisticexpialidociousism

Magic Powers[edit]

To start off her illustrious career, Andrews one day encountered a magic elixir. Upon drinking it, she gained magic powers where she became able to shoot laser beams out of her eyes. In her magnum opus "Marry Poppins," many scenes of her using her powers to unleash a program against the poor were cut in the final editing. She mostly used her powers for good until 1994 when she left her husband for shania twain, a longtime fan. Shania taught Andrews the virtue of greed and coercion. In their first act as husband and wife, they bought an orphanage for the sole purpose of burning it down. When Andrews was informed that children were still inside, she was made famous by her reply "Good, more fuel for the fire." Shania and Andrews are continuing to use their powers to make life even more inconvenient for the lower class.

Julie Andrews melting poor people with her laser eyes at a 1999 NASCAR event


Princess Julie Andrews onstage in the musical Holothurians Just Want To Have Fun, 1988. (Publicity picture courtesy of Wollsley Theatre, Pudsy Place, London)

She went to work for the King of Siam babysitting, with Walt Disney she went on to have the woman who would later become Boris Karloff's (William Henry Pratt - son of Right Honourable Pratt) mother.

Had a torrid affair with Mrs Doubtfire the mother of Robin Williams a green jelly salesman fron Detroit. At this point in her life she called herself 'Victor'. Split up on grounds of cultural incompatibility.

Spent some time cleaning chimneys with Dick van Dyke in Victorian London but eventually left on grounds of Dyke's speech impediments. Later worked in a Chinese laundry as a white-slaver.

She eventually found work in the first 'talkie' moving picture titled Batman Re-runs and is now living with a semi-bionic mongoose in Shropshire. The mongoose says they are very much in love, although "we are reluctant to have children due to darling Julie's age."

She decided to back to Austria and try a new life as a nun... nothing works... she married the father and finally had her 7 children in her own house:

number 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

Once spanked by Rex Harrison for being unable to pronounce "The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain" in Cockney English.

“I'll shoop you for this!”

~ Julie Andrews on some crazy kid hugging her

Was cast as Mother Victor/Victoria in Phantom of the Opera.

She had also been a fan of the Grand Theft Auto series, too:

Julie in the middle of LA riots in 1992:

Julie Andrews's Legacy to Her Devoted Feminist Fans[edit] MAMAA!!! "Dump your kids to orphaniges and take care of your career!"

External Links[edit]