Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/July 5

July 5: X Day; Day After We Kicked The Brits Ass Day (Southern US)

• 334 BC - Masturbation is accidentally invented by Plato in Athens. His diciple Aristoteles is later declared "Master of his domain"
• 1687 - Isaac Newton (pictured) discovers gravity after being hit on the head by a falling fig.
• 1689 - After outbreak of falling fruit, Isaac Newton officially changes gravity to 7.
• 1946 - The bikini is introduced in Paris, France. Later, no bikini atoll was the trend.
• 1967 - The first kidney transplant to be made entirely of lego bricks ends in tragedy
• 1998 - Aliens fail to turn up and fry everyone to a pink crisp.
• 1999 - Again, the aliens miss the due date.
• 2000 - Yet again, the aliens fail to meet their contractual obligations.
• 2001 - Cultists get seriously pissed off with yet another no-show.
• 2002 - Kooks consider taking legal action against missing aliens.
• 2003 - Aliens turned up, but not the right aliens. Bloody mocking tourists.
• 2004 - No one turns up because no one expects the aliens to. And, yup, they didn't.
• 2005 - If you are reading this, the aliens did not turn up for the 8th year running.
• 2005 - Longest fart in world history. Produced by AMB.
• 2006 - That's right, still no aliens.
• 2006 - Zombies become extinct.
• 2007 - Deal or No Deal? The aliens decide to take the money and not show up - again!
• 2010 - The Church Of The Subgenius hijacks the Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/July 5 page
• 2155 - Aliens almost turned up but missed a left due to wrong directions and landed on Venus.
• 2156 - Aliens turn up and land in Tokyo but flee due to a Gundam Statue that lit up at night.
• 19447 - Aliens appear as tourists, but at this point no one cares.