Justice League led Coup in the Soviet Union

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search
The Justice League led Coup in the Soviet Union occurred on March 9th 1953, in which the Justice League of America usurped control of the USSR.
Troops marching through Red Square in “celebration” of the JLA’s coming to power


JLA’s USSR flag














The Masterminds[edit]

The JLA members whom masterminded the Coup are listed below:



The Batman
Green Arrow
Superman
J'onn J'onzz (Martian Manhunter)


















Pre-Coup build-up[edit]

On March 1, 1953, after an all-night dinner with interior minister Lavrenty Beria and future premiers Georgi Malenkov, Nikolai Bulganin and Nikita Khrushchev, Stalin did not emerge from his room the next day, having probably suffered a stroke that paralyzed the right side of his body. While lying helpless on the floor, Green Arrow shot an arrow into his eye from an apartment building opposite Stalin’s room. Captain America entered Stalin’s room disguised as a GRU agent. He decapitated Stalin using his shield, the head was then re-attached through the mystical unrealistic powers of J'onn J'onzz, the group walked right out of the room by re-disguising as Stalin’s personal doctors, in spite of the fact they had been executed in 1943, none of the guards found this suspicious.

Coup d'état[edit]

On March 9th, following Stalin’s funeral, Superman (and possibly now disgraced JLA member, “Fist Of Doom”) stormed the Kremlin with an army of mercenaries, following a 4 hour fire fight with Kremlin security personnel, Superman and the JLA usurped control of the Soviet Union.

Superman "The Man Of Steel": Ruler of the USSR[edit]

Out of fear of Superman’s and the JLA’s incredibly ludicrous powers, the rest of the Soviet Government quickly fell in line and pledged their allegiance to the new Government. Superman quickly implemented the policy of “Crimson Über Fear”, a political policy designed to remove all opposition to the JLA Government.

JLA’s USSR’s Foreign policy[edit]

Due to the fact that the JLA Government was unofficial, it was widely opposed by the U.N. and Chuck Norris. The JLA also decided to keep the USSR in the war with Belka

U.N. forces and Chuck Norris's deployment/Collapse of the JLA Soviet Government[edit]

Only 16 hours after the JLA had established their Government, the U.N. deployed vast numbers of Peacekeeper troops and Chuck Norris to remove it. The U.N.'s Peacekeeper's are largely killed off by Batman,Green Arrow,Captain America and Martian Manhunter (J'onn J'onzz), luckily Chuck Norris is able to take down the JLA single-handed. The JLA flee the USSR and the leadership position is taken by Nikita Khrushchev.....may God help us all.

Effect of the JLA’s leadership on Russia[edit]

Even now, years after the collapse of the JLA’s regime, its affects are still felt in Russia, as well as May day, vast numbers of Russians also celebrate a day known as the “Day of Crimson Fear” (Russian: День Темно-красного Опасения), in which Russians reflect and look back upon the brief, but fearful, period of the JLA’s leadership.


See Also[edit]

JLA

Superman

Batman

Martian Manhunter