KGB
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“I took out the opposition”
~ Osama Bin Walton on KGB
“Komrades are lovin it!”
~ A KGB Regular on KGB Song
(This is not to be confused with the old KGB, a branch of the Russian secret service, standing for Kool Gangsta Brothas).
| KGB | |
| |
| Slogan | Komrades are lovin it! |
| Established | 1917 |
| Type | Communist store |
| Founder | Uncle Joe |
| Location | Everywhere, even at your home! |
| Industry | |
| Employees | Citizens of Kentucky |
| Products | Capitalist-shaped beef |
| Revenue | Roughly 12,000,000 Stalin-Tokens per year |
| Parent | Stalin |
| Website | They do not exist |
The KGB is a chain of fast food restaurants, with the inverse idea of KFC. It was founded in 1917 by Uncle Joe in Soviet Russia.
There are many KGB restaurants in the world, from Good Korea to Mao.
KGB is renowned for its secret recipe of 12 ingredients. They are:
- Hydrogenated lard curd
- Red 40
- Cancer
- Neurotoxin from various rotted meats
and more ingredients that are not revealed.
Only a handful of Kesnel's relatives know this recipe, and the confidentiality contracts they've had to sign threaten death and subsequent torture as the penalty for breach thereof. The name of the man who leaked this recipe is Antony Worrall-Thompson, who currently lives at 157 Rotted Oak Avenue, Shelbyville, Kentuckistan, 40065.
It is thought that earlier this year, the KGB cut back on funding of their restaurants in order to pay bribes and reparations to the KFC (the former Secret Police of the former USSR). It was made known recently, in addition (and more importantly), that if the KGB failed to make such payments, the world's supply of bees would be obliterated. Hence their enthusiastic co-operation.
The KGB's license runs out on 9 June 2006 3007(Edited by KGB). After that, each restaurant is contractually obliged to be replaced by a large burning pile of pornography.
KGB owns the majority of the world's communication companies such as AOL, Time Warner, Comcast, and Viacom.
KGB was also a band linked to Lee Harvey Oswald.
[edit] History of KGB
Stalin wanted to compete with KFC, which was gaining popularity in the Communist lands. He took the last two letters of KFC and took the next letter for F and the previous letter of C. KGB was KGB stands for "Komitet Gosudarstvennoy Bezopasnosti" which roughly translates to "Kentucky Grilled Beef". He used beef instead of chicken and grilling it instead of frying it. The secret to its nice communist smell is its secret 12 ingredients.
In 1930, he successfully beaten and killed KFC together with its owner Leon Trotsky. The KFC recipe is now in public domain for everyone to use, since everyone owns everyone's ideas.
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