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KOOK are the call letters for AM 1337. L.A.'s "All Conspiracy theory, All the time" talk radio station. The station allows an open forum for all manner of Crackpots, Psychos, Paranoids, and other assorted Whack-jobs.


KOOK was founded in 1956 on the windswept steppes of Los Angeles, CA by Herman Shimmlefont, a noted clairvoyant and Ufologist. He received the license from the FCC on August 13, 1956, and it took him til December to scrape together enough glue, baling wire, duct tape, and chewing gum to build a trasmitter tower and studio. On January 1, 1957 the station broadcast for the first time. The first schedule included;

6:00-8:00 AM Breakfast with Bigfoot A call-in show on which callers would tell of their encounters with the mysterious Sasquatch.
8:01-10:00 AM Morning Drivetime with Reverend Roy the Faith Healer On this show, the cohost Phyllis the Psychic would also foretell areas of traffic congestion.
10:01-12:00 PM Roswell Roundup Latest gossip on flying saucers and UFOs.
12:01-2:00 PM Lunch with the "Lincoln Project" Conspiracy theories on the assassination of Abraham Lincoln.
2:01-4:00 PM Teatime with Nessie Call-in show on which callers would tell of encounters with the Loch Ness Monster.
4:01-6:00 PM Evening Drivetime Roy and Phyllis return for the evening shift.
6:01-8:00 PM Grand Dragon Dan and the Boys from the Klan Fiery racist diatribe from everybody's favorite cross burner!
8:01-10:00PM Evening Enchantment with Voodoo Violet A voodoo priestess gives recipes for do-it-yourself charms and hexes.
10:01-Midnight Sign-off Lights in the Sky A show where tips were given on finding the best UFO spotting areas.

This Schedule was, well, not all that popular. The shows catered to the fringe of society, but the 2 hour long racist rantings of Grand Dragon Dan led to accusations of right-wing fanatacism. To deal with some of this, and to give voice to Kennedy conspiracy theorists, this revised schedule was introduced in 1964:

6:00-8:00 Breakfast with Bigfoot
8:01-10:00 Drivetime with Reverend Roy and Phyllis
10:01-12:00 Roswell Roundup
12:01-2:00 Lincoln/Kennedy Conspiracy Corner With the Assassination of JFK, the Lincoln show's format was expanded to include Conspiracy theories for both assassinations. (No one wanted to talk about Garfield or McKinley's Assassinations)
2:01-4:00 Teatime with Nessie
4:01-6:00 Drivetime
6:01-8:00 Grand Dragon Dan and the Boys From the Klan
8:01-10:00 Black Panther's Den with Brother Mustafa To counterbalance the white racism of Grand Dragon Dan, the station's management hired Brother Mustafa to spout black racism.
10:01-Midnight Lights in the Sky

Through much of the 70's and 80's, the lineup remained the same, though the callers did change. In the 60's and 70's, drug-addled teens often reported visions they gained through LSD use. In the 80's, coked up yuppies called in their paranoid delusions.

Modern Schedule[edit]

With a nod towards political correctness, the management removed much of their racist content, and began giving more equal time to other spiritual movements than faith healing. The daily schedule reflects this change:

6:00-8:00 Buenos Dias Chupacabra!! In a nod to the growing Latino population of LA, Bigfoot's show now shares time with La Chupacabra, the goat-sucker of Latin America.
8:01-10:00 Morning drivetime with Sister Serene and her All Powerful Crystals The drivetime show now embraces the New Age crystal movement, hosted by Serene, priestess of Atlantis.
10:01-12:00 Roswell/ Area 51 Roundup and Close Encounter Call-in
12:01-2:00 The Assassination Conspiracy Show The subject matter of this show deals not just with the Lincoln and JFK controversies, but also with RFK, MLK, JFK Jr., Lennon, Biggie, and 2Pac.
2:01-4:00 Black helicopters over LA This show deals with government conspiracies, Waco, Ruby Ridge, Oklahoma City, Militias, 9/11, etc.
4:01-6:00 Evening Drivetime With Reverend Roy The Management decided to keep an old favorite on evenings, however, Phyllis no longer works for the station, and has been replaced by Willie "Wild Weasel" McNamara, in the KOOK Traffic Chopper.
6:01-8:00 Pompous Asshole with Al Franken Tired of the accusations of right-wing fanaticism over Grand Dragon Dan, the station bought the syndication rights to Franken's left-wing fanaticism.
8:01-10:00 Right-Wing Pompous Asshole with Sean Hannity To balance out Franken's drivvel.
10:01:Midnight Lights in the Sky A relaxing mix of music and conspiracies.