Kagome
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“Kagome makes me happy in the pants. I almost forget that I like other men.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Kagome
“I retract my previous statement.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Kagome
“This mellow-thighed chick's just put my spine out of place.”
~ David Bowie on Kagome.
“Oh yeah, baby! We should have had sex like this a long time ago! Unh unh unh!”
~ Inuyasha on Kagome.
Kagome Higurashi (Keenan Hoes in the English version))(私は私はあなたの犬との性交を有することができることを私が考えるのである従って熱く、熱い はい温度がとても高いので愛す) is a character in the anime and manga series InuYasha.
Kagome is the granddaughter of the owner of Asshole Shrine, a shrine near The Lovely Skirt Company. On her fifteenth birthday, she is pulled into a well by a tiny ant, known as the darth ant, and is taken into feudal Japan, specifically the age of disco, 8-track tapes, and Massive Land Yachts. In the past, she finds what seems to be a sleeping half-demon human who is pinned to a big-ass tree by a stick (arrow stick). She is captured and taken into the nearby village and is confronted by Kaede, the priestess of the village. Kaede at first thinks that Kagome wants to have sex, due to her hotness but she changes her mind when she notices that Kagome attracts men.
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[edit] Personality
Kagome (Keenan) (私は私はあなたの犬との性交を有することができることを私が考えるのである従って熱く、熱い はい温度がとても高いので愛する) (1988-160122) is an annoying girl and should get married soon - say the United Nations. Yes, Kagome's sole purpose in the anime is just to stand there and have sex with Inuyasha and Naraku, and occaisionally winks and flashes her skirt as her true love dies a brutal death. She is also been known to add "depth" the the story with her coming from forward in time-ness. This is highly debated due to the fact she is in reality a very hot Japanese girl who has a purpose in this world and deserves to LIVE.
Kagome also has a whip to control her dog-man-gigolo Inuyasha because she is a dominatrix. With the command of "Strip Boy!" ("Fukku Mehu!!" or "鬼の私の膣と性交する来る後をつけなさい!!")
What's even worse is her Eighties counterpart, Kikyo (Kookie) (極度の前パイすべて当然がらくたのがらくたのがらくたのがらくたのかなり凶悪な愚かで愚かなたわごとの頭部であるI の馬鹿), who reincarnated from the Eighties. Kikyo is exactly like Kagome except she doesn't whine and looks more like Cyndi Lauper. She also has a kickass bow which she used to murder Kagome, thus ending the oppression of the human race. Kagome also has 3 friends who no one cares about. One happens to be very dumb and American.
[edit] Outfit
Kagome's outfit is what makes male fans think she's hot. She has a short mini skirt, and a school uniform. In episode 268, she takes off her uniform while she bathes and shows her breasts to Adolf Hitler. It is then that the tripartate pact is formed as Benito Mousillini, Kagome Higurashi, and Adolf Hitler have a three way.
[edit] Male fandom
Many male fans loves Kagome because she is so hot, because of her school uniform. HOWEVER, what is noticable about her uniform is that almost every episode she wears it. Does she ever wash it? The world may never know.
[edit] Powers
- Male control: Allows Kagome to control all males to do ANYTHING THEY WANT!
- Uniform: Gives everybody her school uniform, cannot be removed.
- Scared Arrow: When it hits someone, it turns the person into Kagome. Not much use at all.
- Shining Bind: Brutally massacres everything within a 3-yard radius. Can only be used when not mentally groping someone (which is why she never uses it).
- MOM: Turns all males within 999999999999 mile/km into babies, and the males are Kagome's kids.
- Girl power: Turns all males into females.
- Paper power: Turns anyone into paper (the person turned into a paper will be a piece of paper with their picture on it).
- Knitting: Turns people into wool.
[edit] Episode events
- 3.14. Kagome becomes Oprah.
- 5. Kagome is captured by ants and is turned into an ant.
- 9. Kagome molests everybody.
- 14. Kagome is captured by babies, and the babies made Kagome a baby who is still a harlot.
- 20. Kagome gets trapped inside Inuyasha where she then gropes his lower intestine.
- 27. Kagome somehow molestes a twelve-year-old girl.
- 35. Kagome is turned into a man.
- 37,64. Kagome sees a blue striped blue owl with paper bags
- 40. Kagome turns the whole world into paper.
- 57. Kagome is shrunk to a size of an ant.
- 94. Kagome resigns the presidency after having an affair with Dwight D. Eisenhower.
- 102. Kagome dies.
- 124. Kagome dies again.
- 125. Kagome dies for real.
- 126. Kagome dies once again.
- 127. Kagome masturbates with herself. Suprisingly, she's not dead.
- 150. Kagome gains 2 HP (hit points) by eating part of Inuyasha's arm.
- 154. Kagome resigns the presidency after being exposed for masturbating herself.
- 155. Kagome gets elected president.
- 156. This episode explains how she resigned when she wasn't president, and how she got elected if her public support was .5%.
- 9999. Kagome dies at last, after having 912 love children, 600 mistresses, 2 boyfriends, and ressurecting herself 9000 times.
- 10000. Wait, she's not dead.
- 1 AK (After Kagome) Kikyo accidently kills Kagome after she steals her sex toy vibrator.
- Inuyasha finally puts an end to Kagome's fussing by fusing her with Lil' Slugger and Porygon, masturbates her, sleeps, wakes up, cuts off her circulation temporarily, and finally sends her back to WWII. She comes back to feudal Japan 50 years later by the coin-op Stargate and has very erotic sex with Inuyasha. They eventually end up having 300 kids and have sex almost every midnight at the end of each episode.
