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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Kanji.

Kanji is a special form of drawing that consists only of black dots and straight lines. Once the Kanji is drawn more dots and lines can be added, with no change to the meaning, provided that the dots are perfectly round and the lines perfectly straight.

Cool Kanji are obtained by adding round lines to existing Kanji.

There's a Law that states that if you add enough lines and dots to Kanjis they all end up looking the same. The result is called a Smudge.


Each Kanji is made of several distinct drawings, also called roots or radicals. Most common radicals are:

  • 日, which means an square eight, and also eight squared:
  • 立, which represents a boiler
  • 心, which represents a tree with only three leaves and the root shaped like a fishing hook
  • ﺸ, which is a sugar burner. Hell Fire until End!!! 999 forever

The kanji for Kanji are 難字. The self referential nature of seeing these kanji together will make a typical Japanese person's head explode.

Kanji Drawing[edit]

Kanji drawing is practised solely by perverts and the Emperor of Japan.

In Korea Kanji are only for old people.

The Kanji Deception[edit]

In Japan it used to serve as a form of communication although nowadays its sole purpose is to act as a diversion to keep tourists from understanding the language. This has brought tourists to think that Kanji is the written form of Japanese.

However, current, real Japanese is a language much similar to English and it's written above or beneath the kanji drawings, using a special secret ink made from lemon juice than can only be seen if the text is brought near to a candle.

The fact that candles exist only in Japan and thus Japanese can only be seen by Japanese people makes this deception perfect.

Hiragana and Katakana[edit]

Written Japanese includes also hiragana and katakana.