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Because of their incurable biases, the so-called experts at Wikipedia will probably never have an article about Kilusõda. We are sorry they insist on being this lame.

The Kilusõda (Sprat war) is a recurrent war between Estonia and Latvia. It starts when 2 guys (an Estonian and a Latvian) want to split one sprat. Sprat breaks badly and the Estonian gets a smaller piece, so he get's mad, because Estonia is the worlds' dominant superpower. Estonians mobilize their army of 1,4 billion men that are suitable for battle (Estonias population had reached the number of 8 citizens for this moment) and perform a blitzkrieg on Latvia, which fails because the location of Latvia remains unknown to Estonians. Latvian army of 30 men and a light tank, using the support of the fleet (consisting of two fishing boats and a ferry) attacks the capitol of Estonia (Tartu). Tartus' garrison of 200 000 heroicly defends the city until reinforcements arrive and a very bloody battle follows, because the attacks of Estonian heavy battle tanks and heavy artillery fire is useless against the Latvians light tank and their sandbag bunker. In this battle 30 000 Estonians were killed, but the Latvians were finally defeated at the arrival of Estonian nuclear bombers. Sadly, Tartu was also destroyed in the bombing.

Estonians then built a fleet of 40 battle ships, 35 aircraft carriers and thousands of smaller ships. Estonian fleet attacked the Latvian one, but the Estonians were forced to retreat because of supply problems (the ships had forgotten to take shells with them).

There were many chaotic battles in this war, but finally the Estonians won and got the larger half of the sprat, thanks to the sabotaging activities of reibipede's.

In this war, a large part of the Estonian army was destroyed, but the Latvians were completelt blown away. They lost at least 2,000 men and their king was killed.