Kim Campbell

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Kim Campbell, P.C., Q.C., LL.B., LL.C., LL.D., LL.E., LL.F, BB.Q., LOL, WT.F had a summer job as the 19th Prime Minister of Canada. She was from British Columbia, sadly, and had to follow the rule that anyone from outside Québec could only rule for a few months. Her defenders like to point out, however, that she did distinguish herself by making Brian Mulroney seem competent, humble and likeable by comparison, something political analysis's had predicted could never come to pass.

Kimmi Campbell
KimCampbell.jpg
Rank: 19th
Predecessor: Toney the Tiger
Successor: Gene Cretin
Date of Birth: March 10, 1922
Place of Birth: Waterslide World,
West Edmonton Mall,
Alberta
Spouse: Geddy Lee
Political Party: Progressive Conservative

Campbell started her political career as a host and reporter on the CBC children's program Junior Television Club in her pre-teens. Thereafter, she made a very suspiciously fast rise from being Vancouver school board trustee to B.C. Socred Party provincial M.L.A. and then almost overnight to being Tory federal Cabinet minister. Soon, she was Minister of National Defence. Campbell was chosen to succeed Brian Mulroney as prime minister because

  • she was stupid enough to volunteer,
  • Jean Charest looked girly anyway, so they might as well chose the real woman, and
  • The United States never had a woman president, so Canadians could have another reason to be smug.

Campbell's campaign was very well run, except for the fact that she lost 98% of her seats to friggen Count Chocula and Jean Chrétien. Some speculate that Canadians just wanted to chose the uglier ones to show how "above" looks they were. As she was a nude model in office, posing frequently for risqué shots of herself and some judge's robes, they certainly did choose uglier ones. Her loss was so great that even Uncyclopedia cannot make the story of it any more tragic. see also: suicide

Since then, she has, except for an appearance with Ralph Nader's left nipple on the Bill Maher Show, vanished off the face of the earth.


Preceded by:
Brian Mulroney
Prime Minister of Canada
1993-1993
Succeeded by:
Jean Chrétien


Prime Ministers of Canada Flag of Canada
Mackenzie | Abbott | Thompson | Bowell | Laurier | Borden | Meighen | King | Diefenbaker | Pearson | Trudeau | Clark | Turner | Mulroney | Campbell | Chrétien | Martin | Harper