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Jars of kimchi in all their splendor. Yep, that's all of it.

“Isn't this a bunch of paper in a red ink bottle?”

~ An Icelandic businessman on Kimchi

“Did you put a dog in this food?”

~ A French vegetarian man on Kimchi

“I don't wanna eat this.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Kimchi

“I dont know any Kim Chee...”

~ Steve Lombardi on Kimchi

Kimchi consists of kim, chi, or even imch. It is a staple dish in any Korean domicile made mainly out of shredded Korean shepherds, powdered antidepressants and bleach. Also, it is the other name for humanoid zerg live in Korean.


None but Asians can hope to prepare kimchi. If a white man tried, he would fail miserably and be impaled by a horde of Koreans. The ingredients for kimchi are a closely guarded secret and posting it anywhere results in a ban from online gaming. However, it is harder to make then run of the mill American food like pizza or mac and cheese.


Like revenge it is best served cold. Set aside 14 days to do the "Kimchi Rap".


Kimchi is described as the ultimate Asian food. It is also in the top ten "Greatest Dish Ever" list. White people like Colin Powell, Master Chief, Darth Maul and Scarface all eat kimchi regularly. Oh, and kimchi kills any American food. Actually, they rape it and leave it dead in a gutter.

Health Risks[edit]

For women, years of making kimchi will doom you to a bitter disposition in life and unhappy marriage. If a non-asian tried to eat this, they would either die on contact or, if they were american, complain loudly about it's look and the fact that it's chilled, then die, then asplode.