King Dedede

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“He always was mother's favourite”

~ The Penguin on King Dedede

“This guy is supposed to be my enemy?”

~ Kirby on King Dedede

Kirbywave2.gif

“He's not a Penguin?”

~ Solid Snake Not beliving He's not a Penguin

“Dee Dee Dee!!”

~ Carlos Mencia on King Dedede

King Dedede is the world's most beloved penguin and king. He is the ruler of multiple things including bling, Dreamland and the world! You do not underestimate this blingmaster, as he carries a giant hammer around that smack enemies into puddles of mush.

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Early Life[edit]

Dedede during his early years as a Blingmaster, ie, master of bling.

Born with the name of Dedede Eggbert Nancyboy the III, King Dedede was born to two unnamed penguins who are emigrated to America in 1979. Dedede was the second of three children, the other two being The Penguin, who would go on to become a criminal mob boss in Gotham City, and Pingu, a deranged and basically retarded kid who spoke incoherent babble and moaned a lot. Pingu at a young age was sent to Antartica to be raised by a penguin family who were just a weird as he was. Dedede gained his first hammer at the age of six, and repeatedly used it bash his father feet in. He lost the hammer during a camping trip in Alaska, but got a replacement mallet upon visiting Mario in the Mushroom Kingdom.

Dedede went to college and then university after going through school. He studied music, particularly rapping, although every month, he stole all the hammers from the resistant materials workshops. During his time in university, Dedede's parents died. His father died after he mistook a chainsaw for a sawfish. The results weren't pretty. His mother died from a heart attack, but gave King Dedede a rocket-powered hammer in her will. The Penguin moved to Gotham, to become a mob boss, criminal and the second most popular villain in the Batman documentaries. Pingu was at this point in an asylum for the criminally insane. He had raped a poor seal twenty-six times non-stop.

Dedede had a big love for music and claimed he could never live without it. In 1989, Dedede walked into a nightclub full of blingmasters, possibly pimps and a drunken Luigi and decided to participate in a karaoke contest. He surprisingly won with his own song, the Dedede Rap. A record dealership owner, Simon Cowell, just happened to be at the bar hitting on some women and upon hearing Dedede's amazing voice and dancing skills, he made a deal with him for a one-record deal. Dedede agreed.

Dedede Becomes King[edit]

Some of Dedede's fellow Blingmasters (Ronald McDonald, Anne Robinson & Yoshi)

Although Dedede did only sign up for a one-record deal with Cowell, the song's release went super-ultra-omega-completely-over-the-top platinum, and Dedede became an instant American icon. Hoping to expand his music career, Dedede signed on two-year partnership with Cowell. Ozzy Osbourne also turned up and he too made a deal with him. Dedede produced ten chart-topping albums, the best one being the fourth album - King Dedede Remix. Dedede's popularity spread across the world and all the way back again. Dedede got his brothers involved in his fame. The Penguin was able to become a film star in 1992's film Batman Returns, but was put in a coma during filming for two months. He later went on to own a nightclub of his own in Gotham, becoming a billionaire. Pingu was put on a three-year sanity course and got his own kid's television show produced by the BBC. Around the peek of Dedede's career as an artist, he met Roman-Catholic puffball Kirby, who became a close friend.

Dedede travelled to Dreamland, a country squeezed somewhere between Japan and Neverland. Dedede was hailed as a hero and on Christams Day, 1992, he became King and Blingmaster of Dreamland. Kirby got his own video game series, which Dedede also featured in as a villain. In 1994, King Dedede joined the Circle of Blingmasters, joining the elite ranks of others such as Elvis Presley, Ronald McDonald, Oscar and Barney the Dinosaur. He soon became ruler of the world, Mars and beyond.

The Unity of Villains[edit]

In 1995, King Dedede was invited by Cowell to join a new rock band named the Unity of Villains. The band members included Dedede himself, Ganondorf, Bowser, Wario, Jigglypuff, Ridley, Eggplant Wizard, Dr. Eggman, Darth Vader and Smitty Warben-Yegamen Jenson. The band proved to be quite popular, particularly with their Number One songs Nobody Cares and Wii Wanna Destroy Playstations. However, the band's success did not last very long as the albums were not being bought enough, Cowell fell out of a window to his apparent death, and the band's members left one by one.

Ganondorf kills Eggplant Wizard.

Eggplant Wizard demanded Pit the Angel to be his groupie, but Ganondorf had made it clear that the band would have no groupies. When Eggplant insulted Ganondorf's beard, the warlock got mad and reduced Eggplant to eggplant juice with a powerful punch. Darth Vader left to try and conquer the galaxy for the billionth time in a row. Eggman disappeared one night after a drinking frenzy, but showed up later on to fight his arch nemesis, Sonic the Hedgehog. Jigglypuff also left to pursue her own singing career. With only seven members left, and Ganondorf leaving soon to star in the movie Twilight Princes, the band disbanded. However, several members of the band reformed the band during the events of Super Smash Bros. Brawl.

The Downfall of King Dedede[edit]

King Dedede's life began to go downhill. After the collapse of the band, Dedede found himself having to pay a debt of $150,000 to an unknown record company called Wikipedia. He discovered he had been robbed, tricked and sexually violated. Now bankrupt, Dedede couldn't sell or produce anymore CDs, asking fans and friends for support. However, he soon learnt that his once loyal fans had moved on, falling in love with the new rapper on the street, Meta-Knight, who had a badassed flying trailer called the Halberd. Dedede was then thrown out of Dreamland after treating the Waddle Dees like rubbish, and even Kirby turned his back on Dedede, starting a business company that sold vacuum cleaners. Bankrupt, homeless and alone, Dedede vanished into the dark back alleys of New York, becoming a heavy drinker and tramp. He used his rocket-powered hammer to scare off anyone who dared approach him, with the exception of fellow Blingmasters.

Arrest and Time As A Fugitive[edit]

Sometime in 1999, King Dedede was arrested and taken to Mushroom Kingdom Federal Prison after he allegedly attacked and assaulted Princess Peach, Toad, and various dead babies. He was found guilty and put in prison for three months. He had his beloved hammer placed in a safe. In jail, he was anally molested multiple times, permantly enlarging the size of his already swollen ass. However, King Dedede dug a hole out of his cell using his cock and a used condom, retrieved his weapon and went on the run for two years. He celebrated the millennium in Paris, getting drunk on champagne and making love to a beautiful French woman who he later discovered was Simon Cowell in disguise.

King Dedede robbed shops with Hitler to buy Dedede Badges during his years as a fugitive.

Dedede was eventually caught in Hyrule by Link himself, trying to start up a new music career using the Ocarina of Time as an instrument. He was taken to court where Phoenix Wright acted as his attorney. The judge, Stone Cold Steve Austin, was ready to convict Dedede and give him the death sentence. The jury, however, loved King Dedede's mucic and decided to vote Dedede as innocent, freeing him of all charges and clearing his criminal record as if it was never there. Dedede apologised to everyone during a press conference, in which he revealed he was going to give up singing, but not before one final album release.

King Dedede's Loss[edit]

King Dedede released his final album, The King Rules the World, and worked in Tescos for several months. In 2003, he became a pro ice hockey player, using his rocket powered hammer to win many matches. However, he soon had to retire involving an accident that cost him his kidney stones and his worldwide famous rocket-powered hammer. The hammer's rocket exploded, reducing the hammer to burning wood. It was cremated, its ashes scattered throughout Dreamland, Mushroom Kingdom, and Tony Blair's backyard. Dedede went into a state of depression, not coming out of his trailer home for eight weeks. Some remains of his hammer were placed in the Hammer Hall of Fame, alongside other famous hammers, like Amy Rose's hammer, a hammerhead shark, and M.C. Hammer.

Recent Years[edit]

King Dedede is not good to his employees.

In 2007, King Dedede was approached by a guy from Nintendo called Mr. Sakurai who asked him to appear in the new Super Smash Bros. game. Delighted, Dedede accepted his proposal and signed up to join the game. He was given a new rocket-powered hammer and rejoined the Blingmasters and Hitler. Dedede met some familiar faces in Brawl, including his old friend Kirby, music rival Meta-Knight, and former band members including Ganondorf, Bowser, Jigglypuff, Ridley, Wario, Murray (Smitty has renamed himself) and his brother, the Penguin. Dedede's popularity rose again, and now he is back on form, currently starring in a three-man dance group called KMD (Kirby-Meta-Knight-Dedede) where they dance classic styles, most of which are either from Wario or Santa Clause.



Discography (AKA: Dededeography)[edit]

King Dedede has produced many albums, each with several chart-topping songs.

  • The Dedede Rap
  1. The Dedede Rap: Dedede's first song, a rap in which he spends three minutes bouncing up and down singing about himself, half of the lines going "Dededededededededededededededede!"
  • Dedede Hammers Down
  1. Hammer Down: Second highest popular single released by King Dedede.
  2. Hammer Time: His own interpretation of MC Hammer's song. The two later did a remake of this together, both equipped with hammers.
  3. Get Funky
  4. Puff Up
  5. The Dedede Rap 2
  6. A Daily Dose of Dedede
  7. Waddle Dee Doo Dah
  8. You Are My Friend
  9. Hammer Storm
  • All Hail King Dedede
  1. All Hail the King
  2. King Dedede In Da House
  3. Hammer & Tong
  4. Mallet Smash
  5. Dreamland Dance
  6. Kirby & Me!
  7. The Dedede Rap 3
  8. Bouncy Castle
  9. Dedede Boogie: The third highes popular single released by King Dedede.
  • King Dedede Reigns Supreme
  1. Royal Rap
  2. Me and my Hammer
  3. Rocket-Powered Hammer Time
  4. Penguin Party
  5. The Dedede Rap 4
  6. DJ Dedede
  7. Fatman Scoop and Fatman Dedede: A rap sung by Dedede and Fatman Scoop.
  8. Kirby Superstar: Appeared as the theme song for the game with the same name.
  9. Long Live the King
  • King & Kirby
  1. Another Waddle Dee Bites the Dust
  2. Killer King
  3. Pink and Puffy
  4. Crazy Little Thing Called Kirby
  5. We Will Hammer You
  6. We Are the Champions
  7. Catch A Warp Star
  8. Heavy Metal Hammer
  9. Rise of the Waddle Dees
  • King Dedede & Others
  1. Mama Mia! King Dedede In The House: Sung with Mario and Luigi.
  2. Speed Of A Hammer: Sung with Sonic the Hedgehog.
  3. The Pika Dedede Song: Sung with Pikachu.
  4. Crossing the Road: Sung with Frogger.
  5. Triforce: Sung with Link and Zelda.
  6. The Tingle Rap: Sung with Tingle, inspired by Dedede's own rap series.
  7. Beep, Beep, Beep: Sung with Mr. Game & Watch.
  8. Metroid Prime: Sung with Samus Aran.
  9. Here I Come To Save The Day!: Sung with Mighty Mouse.
  10. Game Over: Sung with various others.
  • The Dedede Rap Collection
  1. The Dedede Rap
  2. The Dedede Rap 2
  3. The Dedede Rap 3
  4. The Dedede Rap 4
  5. The Dedede Rap 5
  6. The Dedede Rap 6
  7. The Dedede Rap 7
  8. The Dedede Rap 8
  9. The Dedede Rap 9
  10. The Dedede Rap Remix
  11. The Dedede Rap Advanced
  12. The Dedede Rap Ragtime
  13. The Dedede Rap 300: SPARTA Style!
  14. The Dedede Rap Deluxe
  15. The Dedede Rap Royale
  • Nobody Cares
  1. Nobody Cares
  2. Still Nobody Cares
  3. Talk To The Lord Chamberlain
  4. The Cake Is A Lie
  5. Murray's Song
  6. Wii Want To Destroy Playstations
  7. Wii Also Want To Destroy Xbox 360s
  8. Don't Wanna Be An American Lawyer
  9. Hammers, Swords and Lightsabers
  • Ode To Oscar Wilde
  1. Nobody Cares Still
  2. Oscar Welles the Titan
  3. Screw the Rules, We Are Badguys
  4. No Vacuum Cleaners
  5. Glorious Dreamland
  6. All Of My Memories
  7. Wilde and Dangerous
  • King Dedede's Return
  1. The Dedede Rap X
  2. Kirby's Blues
  3. Flight of the Halberd
  4. Brawl To The End
  5. Shake You Waddle Dee
  6. Time For Some More Hammer Time
  7. Blingmasters
  8. Last Swing of the Hammer
  • A Hammer Tribute
  1. My Hammer Will Go On
  2. The Day My Hammer Slipped Away
  3. Goodbye
  4. The Final Dedede Rap
  5. Hammer Time Forever
  6. I'm Going To Disneyland
  7. Big Gay Dance
  8. The Hammer of My Life
  9. King Dedede's Farewell
  1. Merry Marvel Marching Society March remix
  2. Gonna Clobber 'Dat 'Dere Kirby (as part of the Keep Jack From Getting His Art Back album)

Apparent Death[edit]

King Dedede was believed to have been killed while visiting family members in Antarctica. Only his hammer was recovered. Kirby was briefly arrested for the murder King Dedede, although he was let go two hours after he was taken into custody. King Dedede's brother Pingu was believed to be responsible for his disappearance, which seemed to be proven right when he opened fire with a pair of uzis when SWAT Teams arrived at his asylum to apprehend him. The SWAT Team found a video recording of what appeared to be Pingu attacking Dedede in Antarctica. Dedede may not be dead, as there have been photos of a large "birdman" running around Tokyo, wielding a large hammer.

See Also[edit]