King of monsters

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The King of Monsters Tournament is held once every Smarch, and is open to anyone particularly monstrous, or just plain ugly.

Winning the King of Monsters Tournament[edit]

The object is to destroy as many of Tokyo's building and residents as possible, whilst kicking the crap out of your opponent. No-one officially knows why Tokyo is the chosen battleground, but rumours continually insist that it is because Godzilla's great grandfather, Mechamightygodzilla was "almightily pissed off at Tokyo".

Past Winners[edit]

The Reigns of the Winners[edit]

Oprah Winfrey[edit]

Oprah Winfrey was the King of Monsters for a many a millenia, and during her reign, almost brought about World Peace through an iron fist. Because of her, the King of Monsters Tournament almost became a recognized sport, but unfortunately, Mechamightygodzilla stole the crown during the 1934 King of Monsters Tournament. Since she had no crown, she was subsequently disqualified, leaving Mechamightygodzilla the new King of Monsters.


Mechamgihtygodzilla was the opposite of Oprah in every way, and soon after his reign began, destroyed other Japanese towns for no reason. While most of the Earth came to Japan's aid, France stayed back and "let the bigger kids handle it." Mechamightygodzilla's reign was short and murderous, and was succeeded by King Henry the VIII's zombie.

King Henry the VIII[edit]

King Henry won the King of Monsters in 2001, but unfortunately, his zombie matter decomposed too quickly, and was no match for Godzilla. So, he's the worst King of Monsters ever.


Watch out for Godzilla! He's soopa mega strong sexual camera pee-er!

Godzilla was thought by many to be the rightful King of Monsters, before he smooshed them all, including Jeff Goldblum, one of his most ardent supporters in 2004. Unfortunately for Godzilla, Jeff Goldblum's magical powers were helping him keep the crown. <poll> Who do you think is the most kick-assin monster of all time? your mom Godzilla Paris Hilton Sasafrasquatch Oprah Winfrey Chuck Norris's penis(You may know it as the South American andaconda) Cthulhu Lord ipod, Ruler of the Uber-world The un-huffable kitten Hitler Black Hole(otherwise known as your mom's vagina) </poll>

See also[edit]