King of the Hill
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
“This sucks.”
~ Butthead on King of the Hill
“Yeah...IT REALLY SUCKS.”
~ Beavis on King of the Hill
“Wow. Someone has some very violent sexual thoughts. They are apparantly subconscious and can only be experessed through disgusting, unfunny quotes on the internet.”
~ A fatty
“Well, it was either this, or King of the Hell, but we though you all would like this more, and we were wrong..........”
~ Creator
“DAAAAHHHHHHH.”
~ Hank Hill on King of the Hill
King of the Hill was an animated series on the network FOX, which later said sorry for letting something so poor enter the world. It was short lived, lasting only one season from 1997-2006. Only 5 episodes aired between those years, although it's said that Satan is resurrecting the dead voice actors...
Contents |
[edit] Summary
King of the Hill is possibly the [sarcasm]best show in the world[/sarcasm]. It is a show about southern hicks living in Texas surrounded by idiots - familiar territory for most of the idiots that watch Fox. The cast include the Hill family and their friends, all of which get up to the most mundane adventures in the history of television. It also has some asian immigrants(probably illigals they seem to be very proud of their daughter thinking she is asupper genius.) It also has gay hank which for some reason dosent like sexual themes and has tramutised past due to his granpa raping him menttally
[edit] Characters
Hank Hill- (voiced by Barry White) Mr. Wank Will was a homophobic, propane lovin freak, and southern hick. Though he was the head of the family, he had many short cummings. He had a narrow Urethra with constant constipation and suffered from ugliness, a disease which affects billions of people to this day. He is also the example for all "normal" males. He is also a alien from outer space but the shows never tell you that till the last episode. he also loves football and is obsessed with tom landry. her wife is a nobody to him.He loves his guitar and eddie stillson more..
Peggy Hill- (voiced by Sarah Palin) The naive, annoying, large foot-havin bitch of the family. Though Piggy was sweet at heart, many found her to be annoying and hated her from the start. In the final episode, producers killed off Peggy by having her get smashed by a giant boulder after she dropped the conch. Has known of Wank's secret but has never told him she knows becudse she is scared that hank or wank will kill her to late. Hank later married luann who was still married too luky.lukky is a secred agent5 from battle star galactiga a robot. He is also deply involved with astros boys creation Dr.telma he is then called to try to kill dale for no particular reason.Dale finds out and is thought it was a alien.
Luanne Butter- (not related to Butters) (voiced by Ann Coulter) The pretty, blonde, mildly retarded, hair stylist of the family. Mooanne is Piggy's sister's daughter, and is in no relation to Wank, other than being related only by marriage. She loves to design hair. However, in the first episode, Mooanne became distracted by a hot guy and accidentally cut off a customer's head. She was sentenced to 3 days in prison. after she go out she went to the gribbles house and asked joesph to do some things with him they went straight to connies house and also got bobby and had a big cum filled gangbang. afterwards they laid in the bed talking about what happened. they were laughing at the killing of beloved cotton in episode 3 to 4 episodes behind the newest one (season 12).They later watch boooby and connie make love which later causes conie to get pregnant well disscus this later
Blobby "Fat-Ass Mothasucker" Hill- (voiced by Macy Gray) The short, fat, ugly, comedian of the family. Blobby is the "funny" (although he has confessed he is a douche) one, of whom Wank Hill is completely ashamed. He is known to walk around the house with his robe open, or pretty much naked at all times, which displeases Wank. In fact, In the 2nd episode, Wank disowns Blobby and beats the living shit out of him for being so lame. Blobby also likes some asian girl, who for unknown reasons likes him in return. He claims that he lost his virginity 74 times but still claims to be a virgin which is not true if so she would know to use a condom when doing booby, he also lsot his virginity to his puppy ladybird hill in the 6th grade
[edit] Minor characters
Dale- An annoying, dumb and stupid character who doesn't realize who his wife is sleeping with (everyone). He also has his son Joseph (which isn't really his), and a gun that isn't loaded because he's too poor.He is an exterminator with no knowlede of how to b one.He is in love of John Redcorn and doesnot realise joseph is his son. he claims its aliens at work who put his dna on nancys body with someone else he is later fins out he has a daughter(not his),but assums it is his idot and believes bush is frends with saddam
Nancy- (voiced by Shirley Manson) A slutty weather girl, and Dale's wife. She constantly cheats on Dale with John Redcock, a Native American.She is also Know an anchor woman due to her suking so much. She later stops cheating on dalebu stiill loves him enough to have sex with him. hank also had a crush with her swimming naked or grilling(dirty hank).
John Redcorn- Nancy's lover and general Sitting Bull wannabe. He's also the REAL father of Joseph, who Dale is too stupid to even think that he's the real father. He's Native American.
Boomhauer- The slick, pimpaliciuos, giberish speaking retard of the crew. In episode 2, he got castrated for a bet he had with Dale, who later used his penis for personal reasons. And by personal reasons, I mean he got the raw balls and used them to have sex with Wank Hill so Wank Hill wouldn't think Dale had male to male sex with him. He still fpor some odd reason a player of the neighborhood but surprises me that he hasn't hit on nancy.he has no penus but later gets a new one.He pays a hunred to the arlien hospital
Bill- A total loser with no life. After his wife Leanor, a prostitute Bill bought rights to, left him for some e-burglar named Eric Bauman as he claimed, he became a total wreck. His only reason for being is his pathetic excuse for a job as a barber for the military. He's also fat, ugly and basically useless.He is fat loser who secretly watches porn,but shows tottal disgust at hank for getting some. He dosnt do anything but try to suicide himself and get lenor back.He also hits on ugly chiks which john redcor3n trys steal and succeeds so episode season 12 lady named charline.
Connie- A little East Asian girl (from Laos) that is Blobby's girlfriend. She is as equally annoying and fugly as Bobby is so I guess they were meant for each other. Holy mackerel is this bitch ugly, even for an Asian chick. Yeesh!She and Blobby had sex on his house.and you Kow the story pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!she dosnt Know but still nothing ias known yet since it dosnt come up often and it miht be josephs son.
Minh- She's Connie's mother, and hates Piggy with a passion. Though similar to her husband, she's not as of a bitch as he is.SHe think she is hot and in no way is.She uses guns better than dale
Kahn- Min's husband and also Connie's father, a stuck-up winey bitch who hates Hank and his family, although I don't blame him. Due to hank being better at sports and more american.
Joseph Gribble- The son of royal slut Nancy Gribble and her male prostitute John Redcock. Joseph is a loser who hangs around Bobby and is a stripper by night. Also he has a missing testicle due to a propane explosion.caused by hank in mega low mart where he was masturbatting using the propane contaners hole for the hose.
Mr. Strickland- A fat old pervert who is Hank's boss. Basically a heart attack just waiting to happen, like Dick Chaney.HE is a clone of him and is a big drunk and drug addic he is a cock suker who cheatson wife consently
Cotton Hill- (voiced by Daniel Vettori) Wank's father. He lost his shins in World War 2 while killing firty men. hye is a lying son of a bittch,perverted ssicko hole suking man. he is an idot who constently shots an idots testiculs . he is weird having a sun at age 80+ dont know.
Propane and propane accessories- The scene-stealer.
Ladybird- Wank's 43 yr old bitch and the reason for Blobby's existence. When Piggy & Wank were doing it, Ladybird relaxed Wank's narrow urethra with a reach around.yeah but wont happen again hanks narrow urita is getting less sperm due to him bieng gay he dosnt get horny often.
Lucky- The coolest person on the show. voice by Tom Motherfucking Petty.HE is an ai;len currently suukin gay astros boys metal dick tpo stop him from destoying earth.
[edit] Cancellation
FOX cancelled the show 145 times between 1997 and 2006, which is why only 5 episodes aired. The reason for cancellation was as stated by the FOX network "We simply couldnt stand this show. What a piece of crap. Every time we tried to cancel it, we received death threats from viewers. Finally I killed off the voice actors to make it look like it was an accident...wait, oops...I've said too much"
[edit] Episodes
There were only 5 episodes of King Of The Hill, stated above
Episode 1: "Big-Chief-Thwaking-Dick V.S. John Redcorn" (aired: Feb 24, 1997)
Due to low ratings and lack of ideas, the pilot episode's script was improvised on the spot during animation.
Episode 2: "Mooanne's Murder Charge" (aired: Feb 24, 1997)
Wank picks up Mooanne after her parents are thrown in jail. The two find a nearby backroad, where Mooanne performs oral sex on Wank. Soon after, She meets Peggy and Bobby and is viciously attacked by Ladybird. She then decides to become a hair stylist. Finally after many months she gets her degree, she performs her first cutting. Sadly, being distracted by a hot guy, she accidentally cuts off the customer's head. The customer being Peter Griffin. Luanne is convicted of murder and serves a lifetime sentence of 943 years behind bars without the possibility of parole.
Episode 3: "Plunk" (aired: August 27, 2000)
Piggy is concerned about her big feet. While Blobby wants penisplasty (he lost his the same way Boomhauer lost his), Ladybird commits suicide, and the rest of the gang become involved in a scheme that involves drug money and Mexico.
Episode 4: "The Porno Business" (aired: September 11, 2003)
Piggy gets caught up in the porno business for men who have that creepy foot fetish after signing a form for a 'Package Holiday'. Wank finds out about this and proceeds to threaten to shoot Bill pointblank using Dale's shotgun. When he finds out there are no bullets in it because Dale is a cheap bastard, he beats Bill nearly to death with it. Later, everyone makes up for that day apart from Bill, who picked up a hooker and got AIDS. Meanwhile, Blobby loses his shorts at the water park, and everyone sees his big fat ass.
Episode 5: "The Day Piggy Dies" (aired: October 31, 2006)
Piggy and Wank get into a huge fight, causing him to smack the hell out of Piggy. She then tries to get revenge on him by sleeping with Nancy. The Hills and friends decide to go shopping later that day. Piggy gets her big ass feet caught in the escalator and dies horribly and painfully, not to mention bloodfully. At the funeral, everybody laughs, Peggy is fired from teaching, Blobby is brutally raped by hitler, and a meteor hits the Earth, thus causing the end of the world. Bill survives this, but dies five seconds later of AIDS.
[edit] DVD(s)
So far, only QVC is selling non-copyrighted, bootleged, DVDs of the complete series for 7 easy payments of 37.95.
[edit] Trivia
- Britney Spears was originally to be the voice of Luanne but was fired after rumors flew around of her and the crew having an affair.
- It's said that even Jesus could not forgive the human race for this programme and then proclaimed that "No cookies for you in heaven!"
- Hank Hill and his family had a brief cameo in The Simpsons, as they were watching a baseball game. It was rumoured that FOX took out a bit of that episode, as it contained Homer beating Hank Hill with a baseball bat for calling his wife a ho.
- The entire KotH fanbase contains the top 10 lamest people in the world, including Tom Cruise and the director of 4Kids Entertainment.
- It was revealed that the artist behind KotH was also behind the nudes of the characters that swept the internet.
- Hank once lost a game of Soggy Biscuit between him, Dale, Bill, Boomhaur and John Redcorn. He's been secretly hooked on spooge ever since. Happily the FCC blocked that scene from being aired on the fucked-up TV network.
- In Episode 4, there was a scene where you could see bobby's penis, but in testing, everyone became blind
[edit] Awards
Won:
Worst show of the year (1998)
Worst show of the year (1999)
Worst show of the year (2000)
Worst show of the year (2002)
Best show of the year (2003)
Best worst show of the year (2005)
Runner-up:
Worst show of the year (2001)
Worst show of the year (2004)
[edit] Quotes
Hank: Damnit Bobby!
Peggy: Have you ever even tried it?
Hank: No
Peggy: Then how the hell do you even know what cock sucking is like.
Hank: I just do.
Bobby: Oh my God! (after seeing Wank and Piggy have sex on the couch) Dad, why is mom sucking your cock?
Hank: Damn it, Bobby! Where did you learn to talk like that?
Bobby: Luanne taught me. we had sex the other night.
Hank: Well Luanne is going to get raped tonight, I tell you what.
Nancy: Sug, I have a headache, i'm gonna need some time alone with John Redcorn.
Dale: Oh...when you get home, will you suck my cock?
Nancy: Yeah.
Dale: i get tap that fine ass
Nancy: here's porn while im gone
Dale: Awsome, its Gangbang videos!
Hank: Damnit Bobby!
Luanne: how do you want it? slow or fast?
Joesph: fast, with a lot of cum! and a blowjob!
Luanne: ok, 2 hours, $80.00
Connie: Bobby, do you wanna do it? My father won't be home for another 2 hours.
Bobby: Um, ok, but Luanne borrowed my last condom.
Connie: That's ok, just pull out before you cum.
Bobby: Ok.
3 minutes later
Bobby: Dang it, I couldn't pull out in time!
Connie: You stupid bastard, don't you know how fertile I am?!
Kahn: Ahhh! Get off my dauther, you fat redneck asshole! I kick your ass!
Minn: Kahn junior, I told you the next time you ruin my sheets, you are out of here.
Hank: Ghat Dangit Bobby!
Peggy:At least I have balls!
Hank: I've got propane in my urethra!!!
Hank: Damnit Bobby!
Hank: You know youre a redneck if you watch my shitty show.
Hank: Fucking Damnit Bobby!
Peggy: Oh Bobby fuck me harder.
Hank: Get the fuck out of here you danm bitch! I'm fucking Peggy!
Hank: God damn it you damn fucking dick bitch.
Hank: Damn it Bobby get my prostitute and ho.
Booby: Fuck you old man!
Peggy: Don't talk to your father like that!
Booby FUCK YOU!
Hank: God-Fucking-Damnit Bobby, close up your goddamned robe! I'm tired of seeing your DICK! 'Cause it's SMALL!
Peggy: Oh Yeah!!!!! I am so high right now I don't know what is going on!!
Manager of Walmart: M'am, I need you to put your clothes on and take the plunger handle out of your vagina.
Hank: Damnit Bobby, being naked is Worse than when you had that ghat danged robe on. Have you no fucking decency? My fucking asshole dad is here!
Hank: I'm sorry Bobby let me make it up to you by doing this and heres a tape.
[edit] King of the hill episode outlines
In an effort to keep the series from getting stale and monotonous, the writers have come up with an equation, to which all episodes must adhere too.
Person: Om my fucking god! We've got a <insert generic everyday problem here>
Person: Shiznit, we better <completely blow problem out of proportion here>
Redneck: Git 'r' done! Oh and let me <do a certain action that worsens the initial problem too a nonsensical degree.>
Hank, Peggy, or Bobby: Oh noes! I am officially alienated by my community! I better do some retarded texan tradtion too regain their respect. Or I could just not give a fuck.... <insert unnecessary act of contrition which corelates with the initial problem, thus regaining the redneck's respect.>
Bobby: I'm fat! Look at my ass!
Khan: You stupid redenck! Ching gaw wah! Ching wah gang loo tan wang! Shibal geseki! <insert further generalized asian rant dialogue>
Hank: Yep.
Bill: Yep.
Boomhauer: Mhmm.
Dale: Is it weird that im half-erect right now?
All: <awkward silence>
