Despite the Cats That Look Like Hitler craze sweeping the interwebs these days there is no doubt the Kitler master race exists.
|Kitler hates you and Mews|
|The Holy Kitler|
|Classification||The only Cats that look like |
|Position||Fuhrer of Germany and conqueror of France.|
|Motive||To kill all Mews|
|Born||20th April, 1889.|
|Death Date||30th April, 1945.|
Adorable little Cats aside, it is a proven fact that Kitler is out there.
Do I have a Kitler?
You know your cat is a Kitler when it does 2 or more of the following things.
- It Hates Americans
- It has a miniature nazi armband on one of it's arms
- It has small moustache
- It looks like it is Emo, which it probably is
onceALWAYS TRIED TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD
- It pisses on your sheets and craps on your carpets when you're asleep
- It falls asleep on your face so often that it seems as if it is doing it on purpose, which it is!
- Orders Nukes off of the internet about twice a week.
- It overdoses on Catnip with Pussolini
- Forces you to eat it's fecal matter (maybe urine).
- It likes little kits.
- Eats your food/ urinates on your food very often.
- Comes up with a Final Solution
- It doesn't like your Jewish friends.
So you have a Kitler
Don't fear, here some rules to help take care of your Kitler. If you follow these steps, you won't wake up in a bathtub full of blood with one of your feet missing.
- Don't let it get fat. It will hate you more if it is fat.
- Don't let it near the news or newspaper. It's better that you don't know why.
- Don't get a dog, that's the last thing you want. Especially if you wish the dog to stay alive.
- Don't let it go outside. It may never come back.
- Don't attempt to huff a Kitler! This will be disastrous for all involved.
- Don't shave it or try to dye it's hair/'tash unless you want to look like a scratching post.
- Don't let it near any Mews. Actually, do let it near Mews. This is usually entertaining.
- If you wish to keep your Kitler alive, keep it away from the Non-Huffable Kitten at all costs!
- Pretend to enjoy cleaning out its litterbox. This will amuse it.
- Give it your food, It will like watching you eat their food. Cat food is actually tasty
- If you want to get another cat, only get a white one or a black one. The kitler may use it for Kitten Huffing or a very useful catdier or very rarely, friend.
Kitler is internationally renowned for being a disliker of Mews during the second world war (Wild Warping #2). Many infamous concentration camps were established under his reign, including "Meowshwitz", where Mews were kept in cages or holes in the ground.
The future of Kitlerdom
Currently, all Kitlers are hatching a world-wide plot to ressurect the Nazi party and take over the world. If you want to survive, help them achieve their goal. Notably strange activity includes: Disapearing, tendency to sleep while standing up, lack of blinking and ordering yellow-cake uranium on teh interwebz