Kitten soup

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If you feel like a quick snack but have nothing in your fridge except worthless slugs, make kitten soup! It's easy, fun and takes a good fight to make!

Contents 1 Kitten soup in 9 steps 2 Aunt Jemimah's Homemade Kitten Soup 3 Absolutely instantaneos kitten soup 4 Chef Boyardee's Kitty noodle Soup 5 Kitten Egg Flour Soup 6 Melons' Extra Tasty Kitten and Rock Soup

[edit] Kitten soup in 9 steps

1. Get, steal or clone a kitten.
2. Carefully place the kitten in a large saucepan. Do not kill the kitten.
3. Add large amounts of any and every condiment that might come to your mind. TIP: use metal gloves when pouring fluids over the kitten.
4. Boil for several days. Take care that the kitten does not escape. A large piece of brick or double sided tape can help you to keep the kitten in the pan.
5. Remove Kitten.
6. Pound the kitten until tender and chop into fingernail sized bits, taking care not to kill the kitten.
7. Put chopped kitten into soup.
8. DANCE, BITCH!!! DAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEENCE!!!!!!!!!!!.
9. Eat the soup, taking care not to kill the kitten.

[edit] Aunt Jemimah's Homemade Kitten Soup

1. Purchase an Aunt Jemimah's Homemade Kitten Soup packet from your nearest safeway or street bum of choice.
2. Add to boiling pot of water, simmer.
3. Add kitten. Ear plugs are a valuable resource (I hate the sound of boiling water)
4. Oregano, cinnamon or basil makes a great addition.
5. Serve hot

[edit] Absolutely instantaneos kitten soup

1. Open packet as you enjoy. Warning have moth open while opening packet to avoid eye injury.

Since kitten soup is mostly based on family recipes, please feel free to edit this article and add your own favorite version of kitten soup! I'm gay! So am i! i met you parents the other day they were a couple of nice guys!

[edit] Chef Boyardee's Kitty noodle Soup

1. Can be bought an nearly any neighbourhood general store. Exclusive to the WAL MART retail chain.
2. For an added effect, add your own cats for that home-made taste.
3. The whiskers should be removed before cooking, or they will turn up later and cause pain and discomfort to internal organs, and could cause a significant decrease in external sexual organs.
4.  ?????
5. profit

[edit] Kitten Egg Flour Soup

1. Take kitten and peel.
2. Place in boiling water.
3. Add eggs.
4. Add flour.
5. Simmer on low heat for three days.
6. Run through a blender.
7. Strain out any bits.
8. Enjoy kitten egg flour soup by drinking from a toilet.

[edit] Melons' Extra Tasty Kitten and Rock Soup

1. Take one kitten, a rock no larger than half the size of your chosen kitten, three kitten stock cubes and 2101 particles of salt.
2. Bring a large saucepan of water to the boil.
3. Add, in this order, the IN AD 2101 WAR WAS BEGINNING salts, the three kitten stock cubes and the rock.
4. Stir gently, making sure the cubes completely dissolve.
5. Add kitten, close lid and weigh down with many large heavy objects.
6. Leave to simmer on medium heat for 5 days.
7. Remove kitten and rock from soup pan, pour the soup down the drain, throw out the kitten and eat the rock.
8. Take off every Zig!
9. Move Zig! FOR GREAT JUSTICE!
10. Enjoy!

Someone set up us the bomb For great justice take off every 'zig'

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