Kittenolivia
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
| |||||
| Motto: "MMMMMMM...mice" | |||||
| National anthem: "The Meow Mix theme song" | |||||
| |||||
| Official language | Cat's Meow | ||||
| Capital | Sparta | ||||
| Largest City | GIANT BOWLSSSSSSSSS! | ||||
| Population | 80,800,000 | ||||
| Government | Krytocracy and Constitutional monarchy | ||||
| Emperor | Fidel Catro | ||||
| Prime Minister | Creampuff | ||||
| National Heroes | Garfield, Egypt | ||||
| Formation | –National Foundation Day by Ancient Kittenolivia — June 21, 100 BC –Kåtji Reformation — November 28, 900 AD | ||||
| Independence | – From Cat Nation's fall – From France, 1945 | ||||
| Currency | ₯ | ||||
| Religion | self-worship, Kittenanity, mouse sacrifice, human/moogle sacrifice, fish sacrifice, Cat-tholic | ||||
| National Sports | getting huffed, puking, hurl kittens, chasing strings. | ||||
 | |||||
“I still have the scars.”
~ Oscar Wilde on visiting Kittenolivia
The Holy Empire of Kittenolivia is a giant, purple country that smells of mice and light bulbs, and is a former Yugoslav Republic located in Central America. Kittenolivia frequently plans successful assassinations on celebrities and soccer moms, supports international peace-keeping missions, terrorist activities, skunk attacks, obesity, and emo persecution. Kittenolivia went to war with Mars. Currently, they are in a "cold war" against fellow kitten kin Cat Nation and an intergalactic war against the Dog Star, their dreaded enemies the Dog must be destroyed. Those butt-smelling, self-licking, toilet water drinking overgrown rats.
Contents |
[edit] Exports
Kittenolivia makes a lot of it's money from it's exports. It's main export is Catnip. Catnip is the main one because kittens are the best at making it. Kittens like Catnip so much that they have discovered ways to make the side affects super effective. Also, in Kittenolivia, Catnip isn't illegal so they don't have to pretend to be trying to stop the production of Catnip in their Country. They mass produce this so much because kittens love catnip and they want alot of catnip. Toy mouses are their other export. Toy mouses here are mass produced so that kittens and the people they export to can play with toy mouses.
[edit] History
In 1422, a world renowned conqueror from who was named No redeeming urine conquered Kittenolivia in three minutes. The highly flammable kittens took a dump on No redeeming urine and he was killed in the battle. Nevertheless, Kittenolivia was conquered but the kittens enslaved the helpless human/moogle/viera conquerers. The kittens used them for cheap labor and in turn the slaves go to huff the kittens.
[edit] The Kittenolivian Revolution
In 1945, nothing was happening and everyone was really bored because nobody had made a decent pie in years. Quite frankly, the kittens got sick of it, unleashed an army of grue allies on their smelly, short, wrinkly French conquerors. Underestimating the power of kittens in numbers, the French were devoured by the kittens in so little time that nobody found out about it.
[edit] Kittenolivian Wars
In 1742, the United States of America went to war with Kittenolivia, igniting the long lasting Viera vs. Kitten War, Moogle vs. Kitten War and Human vs. Kitten War. Obviously, the kittens won easily after turning the tables on the Americans by huffing the foolish humans/moogles/vieras. The current USA president himself, Ronnie Reagan was huffed and he never returned to the way he was =)
The long bloody war saw absolutely NO blood. Instead, warfare consisted of both sides continually taking huge dumps in the enemy's water supply. This was a bad strategy for the US as, as we all know, every single AMERICAN is constipated (plus Weegee's conversion, the kittens had him in handy & magical ❦). The kittens, who never stop shitting, won a glorious victory. Kittenolivian War hero Catatürk proudly proclaimed at the end of the war "the glory of our victory and our talented dumping is shown in that we will never be as full of shit as the constipated Americans." There was a lot of blood.
[edit] See Also
- Dog Star (their natural enemies).
- Cat Nation (their territorial rivals).
- Catspace
- Cat-tholic
- Cat
- Kitten
- Cat Cocaine
- Kitten Huffing
- Catalonia
- Rupert's Land
- Empire of Antarctica
- Empire of the Four Squares
- Kitten hurling battle
- Groombridge (a nearby star or a moogle territory)
 | Central America and South America |
| Central: Belize | Costa Rica | El Salvador | Guatemala | Honduras | Kittenolivia | Mexico | New Mexico | Nicaragua | Panama | Panama Canal Zone | |
| South: Argentina (en español) | Bolivia | Brazil (em português) | Republic of Bulimia | Cat Nation | Catspace | Chile (en español) | Colombia (en español) | Easter Island | Ecuador (en español) | Falkland Islands | French Guiana | Galapagos Islands | Guyana | Locombia | Paraguay | Peru (en español) | Seahorsia | Suriname | Uruguay (en español) | Venezuela (en español) |
