Kris Kross

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“Once there was this dude named Michael, and he got hard from kids, no one knew why, but they think it had something to do with sharks from space, that swam through the air, eating all the gravity around his wang, when he watched sesame street”

~ Kriss Kross on Something Or Other, We Dunno

“Nothing sounds more delightful then a couple of 12 year olds singing about "doing it" all night”

~ Michael Jackson on Kriss Kross

“They combined Aerobics and Rap music”

~ Captain Dumbass on Kriss Kross

“Kriss was like, ummm, cool n stuff, then like, he turned into a wuss”

~ Butthead on Kriss Kross

Kriss Kross where a rap group that made you wanna jump. Formed by best friends Kriss Kobe, and Kross Bryant. They emerged in the midst of the early 90's with hit songs being heard on Ghetto Blasters everywhere with such titles as "Kriss Kross Will Make You Jump" and "Kriss Is Gonna Bitch Slap Yo Momma Ho While Kross Rapes Yo Sista's Toys". They had a success of 2 songs and then faded out of existence where they belonged.

XXX Tic Tac Toe[edit]

Kriss & Kross were exactly what was needed to be heard on the radio during the course of the dawning of the 1990's. Kids everywhere had been screaming out for a bunch of 12 year olds to sing about doing it all night long.

Kriss Kross broke new ground with their first single when they where only 8 years old, titled: "One Day I Will Be Tall Enough To Ride You, Baby". The smash hit was a global phenomenon that made over 12 cents for the adolescents. They received a Grammy Award for best new talent under the age of 10. Being as they where the only ones under ten, and the kid from Home Alone was not due to release his rap album till the following year, Kriss Kross enjoyed the award, when they received it the next morning, as they had to be in bed by 7:30pm the night of the award show.

Kriss Kross Will Make You, Jump Jump, Uh Huh, Uh Huh[edit]

The follow up album "When I'm allowed To Cross The Street On My Own, Imma Come Over And Give You Some Lovin' Girl" contained the smash hit single that every one remembers, even your mom, "Kriss Kross Will Make You... Jump". The title of the song was true to its words, as every teenager who heard the song on the radio for the 100th time that day would end up jumping off buildings or in-front of cars to get away from hearing the damn thing again.

End Of The Road For These Two[edit]

So whatever happened to Kriss and Kross? It's no big secret, they became teenagers, their balls dropped, and their voice changed into a couple of talentless hacks who couldn't write a decent song to save their sorry lives.... Yes, thats right! they changed their name to Boys II Men.

No one heard from Kriss or Kross every again, and the rest of the world lived happily ever after!

See Also[edit]

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Kris Kross.