Languishing was invented by sir Edmund Profillius IV in 1936 as a humane method of anaesthetising high fear dental patients. The Profillius method, or L-sedation, as it came it be called, involves several books on the subject of human misery, which are placed on a coffee table in front of a dental patient. The patient will inevitably start leafing through them, at which point a dentist, who was hiding UNDER the table, clobbers the patient over the head with a secret book. The then unconscious patient is given a thorough dental exam, billed, and placed on the curb. Another form involves using a penis as opposed to a secret book, but Sir Edmund Profillius did not possess a penis large to properly execute the technique.
Languishing is the national sport of Scotland.