Lawrence of Arabia

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

ZU MACHEN!! Sie gibt! This article is horribly in need of a re-write, but do not delete it. If able, you may re-write it. If you are too weak, contact a member of Der Unwher immediately. Heil!

Lawrence of Arabia (at left) with his brother, Clarence of Arabia

Lawrence Forsyth-Pumpernikel, better known as Lawrence of Arabia, was a famous qamelfuqqist, who pioneered the Bedouin art of al-Qamelfuqqa.

Lawrence of Arabia died tragically from a camel-contracted disease, specifically qamelitis. His best friend was Obi Wan Kenobi, who also died in a not so great way. Many people have since claimed to see Lawrence in the back of movie theatres and on grilled cheese sandwiches.

Lawrence of Arabia was a distant cousin of Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen, famed interior decorator and fop. During his stay in the Middle East he utilised his knack for improving atmosphere and exterior decor to create a sparse minimalist atmosphere with the use of several thousand square km of sand.

Lawrence of Arabia was instrumental in the creation of the state of Libya and is therefore directly responsible for Colonel Gadaffi and his ridiculous Richard Simmons hair.

[edit] Origins of the name

He was a bastard, and so the father was not legally entitled to name him Jesus, as was originally intended. After watching the movie Lawrence of Arabia, little Lawrence decided to name himself Lawrence of Arabia. His full name, however, is not T.E. Lawrence, as is speculated. It is, instead, Teffle Ellington Duke Sir Lord Libbo Lawrence, Supreme Qamelfuqqist of Arabia.

Unfortunately, the name did not continue. Lawrence was asexual. But, that does not mean that he reproduced asexually. No, there were no little Lawrences budding off of him.