Leftist

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search
A teachers tool, charting the leftist mind note, its popularity in the southern states

A leftist is a person who while appearing to be of sound mind, actually wholeheartedly (if they had a heart) rejects the proven word of God and Logic. Despite claims that they are ‘liberal” leftists openly support claims for obese government in all areas save for the issue abortion which is the only time it's ok for government to tell people what to do.

A person who identifies themselves as leftist can be categorized with certainly as:

• Gay

• Really Gay

• May I reiterate their gayness

• Supports abortions been taught as a primary school subject

• Scared of guns

• Support of obscenity and pornography as a First Amendment right

• Afraid of freedom

• A terrorist

• Wanting to spread the wealth around

Leftists are proven to snider then normal people and study’s show they are ten time more likely to sneer at children and hit cripples.

Despite liberal contemporary political jargon it is in fact leftists that are god-fearing in the modern world which is perhaps why they cling to their stupid stem cell research as a hocus pocus way of never dying.

Leftists and Uncharitableness[edit]

Apart from killing children, luny lefties partake in 30% less giving then normal people In March of 2008, George Will wrote at SuperTruth.com an organization credited with disproving evolution made these unsurprising claims concerning giving in the United States:

That although leftist families' incomes average 6 percent higher than those of good hard working blue collar conservative families, conservative-headed households give, on average, 30 percent more to charity than the average liberal-headed household ($1,600 per year vs. $1,227).

Leftist Media[edit]

Although this may seem suprising to none, the leftist elitest minority controls nearly all of America's and indeed all of the worlds media. Perhaps the only honest hard working media man is the true blue apple pie loving Rupert Murdoch who although just recently developing severe Alzheimer's disease (which lead him to support for Barack HUSSEIN Obama) saw the insight in creating a media outlet that finally gave the people who knew everything a chance to tell everyone that that they knew everything.

It is unsuprising that all media except of course Fox News has a leftist lean (as well as a reddish tinge) even media outlets that claimming other things to be fair and bal- err un-biased. This due to the fact that when you consider that collage educated Americans were a demographic easily won by the Commun- cough* Democratic Party. With this in mind it can now safely be assumed that all collage educated Americans are leftists (save again for the fine folks at Fox News, god bless em). Unfortunately this only leaves Unencylopedia (who only has certified collage dropouts) and Conservapedia (which doesn't believe in them) as credible sources of entertainment infused with small shots of information.

Demographics[edit]

Do I need to point out that the biggest leftist state of California is on the left side of this great country? Sometimes I wish it would just break off and drift into the Atlan- I mean the other one.

See also[edit]