Leprechaun

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The following, as of November 12, 1995, is not to be seen by human eyes. Any and all information disclosed here may not, under any circumstances, be available for viewing. On April 25, 1989, the U.S. government began testing ideas for a new brand of super-soldier, in a project labeled Operation: Pot Gold. This soldier was designed to be faster, stronger, more agile, and more determined than a normal soldier would be able to handle while remaining sane. This "super-soldier," of course, is the Leprechaun. Yet, as could be expected any time one tries to defy reality, the project did not succeed. Yes, the operation did create a man with extraordinary abilities. The man was fast, strong and intelligent. However, the need for agility compressed his body into a petite shape. The extra hormones used to create his strength caused his body to become odd, deformed, and discolored. Worst of all, the extreme levels of determination forced into his mind made him dangerously unstable.

Contents 1 The Project 2 The Creature 3 The Army 4 The Revolution 5 Aftermath 6 See Also

[edit] The Project

Tragically, none of the officials in Operation: Pot Gold survived to tell about the calamity. The only solid facts uncovered were expressed in a near-destroyed tape recorder left over at the Raynbau Military Center in Little Rock, Arkansas. This recorder had to be forcibly removed from a crushed scientist, whose hand had been fused to it. While most of the recording was indecipherable, a few select statements were able to be made out:

"It was so simm--- He would be better, faster, stronnnn--- We had plans worked out and everything. It was perrr--- Shit. Oh shirrrr--- The little green bastard---Oh God--- What have we dorrn--- e's comirrrn--- Jones? Jones? Oh no, Jone--- You killed Jorrrrn--- You little fuckrrr--- Die!--- Oh no, shit, oh no--- Hellll--- Ahhhrhrrrrr---"

~ Identity Confidential

The final statements were filled with explosions, disturbing sizzles, distant screams, and excruciatingly cruel laughter, followed by white noise. Experts were able to make out from the previous information that the scientists were planning to make a man that was better, faster, and stronger. Apparently, this "soldier" was small, green, and had great destructive power, or at least enough power to kill or greatly injure Mr. Jones (identity unknown). Yet, not all of the information may have been accurate, for the man referred to the creature as a bastard, even though it was apparent that he was not. Even the greatest minds were unable to decipher whether or not the person recording the message actually survived the attack.

[edit] The Creature

The creature vanished shortly after the catastrophe at the lab, only to reappear again exactly one year later. He was discovered by a local man in Houston, Alabama, who had the following to say about his find:

“Well, I done saw this little guy, bout half my size, and he was wearing some ugly-ass green stuff. Just about freaked the shit right out my pants. Of course, I called the police as soon as I could, but they were acting like a bunch of jackasses, saying shit like, 'Sir, that's a little person. He's not some sort of creepy monster. He is not going to hurt you. Don't throw stuff at him.' They all a bunch of idiots, I tell you what.”

~ Alabama local

Coincidentally, this local's discrimination turned out to be accurate. After repetitive 911 calls, a police car came to the scene. This creature had somehow altered his appearance to fit that of a human, yet he was still oddly-sized and still possessed his unnatural abilities. As the police arrived, expecting to fine the discriminatory local, the Leprechaun approached quickly, spitting an odd, green acid into their faces. All of the abilities of this creature have not yet been discovered, but this appearance-alteration and acidic-repulsion led to the belief that this Leprechaun may be more of a threat than anyone could have imagined.

[edit] The Army

Of course, things only got worse. This leprechaun had power. Not just strength and speed, but true power. He had what everybody wanted, and he was more than willing to share. The weak, the hungry, the hurt, the lost, the angry, the beaten and the scarred were all desperately clinging to what he was offering. He offered strength; he offered immunity; he offered life. The government is still not sure how he was able to offer out the power that he had, but he did. His power spread through a nation of needy, grieving people. The weak were strong. The slow were fast. Reality was being bent into something the Earth had never seen before. The leprechaun started his army. Known as "The Green Party," it was filled with eager Green soldiers, all of whom were experiencing abilities no mortal should ever have experienced. The Green Party rose, and it rose quickly. There was a disaster on its way, yet this cannot be truly expressed in a term as simple as "disaster." No, it was a revolution.

[edit] The Revolution

The sides had been formed and the weapons were drawn. People across the country stared in horror as a wave of green, lead by the tiny creature, swept, eliminating everything in its path. After four days of continuous fights, the Battle of Lucky Hill began. Taking place on a large hill, later named after the hero of the battle, Lucky Wallace, the battle took three days. Lucky Wallace, a young soldier, genetically-enhanced to serve as a fighting force for the Counter-Revolution, ran in, screaming and slicing those in his way. Lucky eliminated approximately eighty-four Green Party soldiers before suffering from a crushed skull, caused by what appeared to be a shalaylay attached to the end of a Green gun. However, this incredible dent into the crowd of Green soldiers opened a clear shot at the Leprechaun, which was taken advantage of by eight Counter-Revolution snipers. Unfortunately, the Leprechaun did not die from these shots. He was unconscious for approximately two days, after which he rose up in time to brutally kill two hospital workers. He was captured yet again, and is currently frozen and kept in a secure chamber. The U.S. government has assured the public that this is a perfectly safe plan and has guaranteed that there is no chance of the Leprechaun being melted down sometime in the future, allowing it to wreak havoc again.

[edit] Aftermath

The Green Party is currently alleged to serve as the presidential party of terrorist-supporters, though, because of the immensely little amount of action made, many assume that the party no longer exists. The U.S. government plans to continue working on controversial and possibly dangerous experiments, although they are assured that there will be no negative results. Many people throughout the country have claimed to have had questionable "Leprechaun sightings" since the capture of the leprechaun. Many 911 calls have been made claiming that they have seen the Leprechaun. While some have been rather ridiculous, claiming that they saw the Leprechaun in their bratwurst, that the Leprechaun was sitting next to them at the bar, or that they witnessed a Leprechaun eating their neighbor, one call from a woman in NYC has been rather controversial:

“What the fuck?!? I thought this was supposed to be under control! I... I just saw the Leprechaun. He was *sobbing* beating my husband with a... a... I don't know what it was. Something Irish. He carved a four-leaf clover into his chest! Fucking government assholes! Please help! I have proof that he's still loose! *Irish-accented chuckles in the background* Did you hear that? It's him! He's back! HELP!!!”

~ NYC woman

Fortunately, the woman was not harmed, though her home was trashed and had clovers sprayed all around. When asked about the call, unconvinced government officials claimed that the woman had suffered from a state of hysteria, and her information could not be accurately confirmed, despite the Leprechaun's condemning DNA evidence found on her husband's wound. The woman is currently in an insane asylum, and the leaders have claimed such confidence in their capture methods that they refuse to check the storage facility that the Leprechaun was supposedly kept in.

This document is sentenced to be burned on November 12, 1995, eliminating the only way that it can read again by anyone.

[edit] See Also

• Lucky
• Evil
• War
• Government
• Revolution
• Terrorism

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