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For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Lieutenant Leslie.

“Why, won't, that, crewman, ever, DIE?!?”

~ Captain Kirk on Lt. Leslie not dying

“Fascinating, yet highly illogical.”

~ Mr. Spock on Lt. Leslie not dying

“He's not dead, Jim!”

~ Doctor McCoy on Lt. Leslie not dying

“Ye canna change the laws of physics!”

~ Scotty on Lt. Leslie not dying

“Captain, Lt. Leslie is not dying on all known frequencies”

~ Lt. Uhura on Lt. Leslie not dying

Just try and kill him. That's right, try.

Lieutenant Leslie is a redshirt serving on the starship Enterprise. However, there are a lot of those, so that's not why he's notable.

He's notable because:

[edit] He just won't die!!!

That's right, Mr. Leslie is the only known redshirt who was not killed on an away mission. As a matter of fact, Leslie survived more than one away mission!!!

[edit] Away missions Leslie survived

The first Star Trek episode ever. The bad guy kills/beats the shit out of three of the people in this picture. Guess who gets away!

Since Kirk doesn't like his redshirts surviving (why else would he keep using them?), he continually tried to send Leslie into dangerous situations to kill him off. Fortunately for Leslie, Kirk's plans never worked.

“What the heck? How'd that dude in the back get though? I thought Redshirts just kinda fall over and die on their own!”

~ Gary Mitchell on Lt. Leslie

“I, really, need, to, choose, my, friends, better.”

~ Captain Kirk on Gary Mitchell

• Leslie was there in the first ever away mission, when Kirk, Spock, some doctor who wasn't McCoy, some nurse who wasn't Chapel, and some engineer who wasn't Scotty tried to stop Kirk's old friend Gary Mitchell from killing everyone on the Enterprise. It didn't work very well. Kirk and Spock were knocked out, the engineer was strangled to death, the nurse was killed, and the doctor disappeared. Only Leslie survived unscathed.

• Several episodes later, while Kirk was dealing with a split personality, Sulu, Leslie, and some redshirts get caught on a frozen planet, kinda like Hoth, only with giant snowstorms. When Kirk remembered to beam them back up, only Leslie and Sulu were seen being sent to sickbay.

• Leslie was one of the security guards sent down with all the main characters when they beamed down to a planet ruled by Landru, basically a computer who thought it was human. One guard was assimilated, one was left behind after being clubbed with a brick, and only Leslie returned with the main characters.

• A later episode, Kirk sent about a dozen redshirts to fight a giant underground pepperoni pizza looking thing. Several guards were eaten by acid, and the rest got clubbed over the head by angry miners. Leslie, however, survived.

• A while later, Kirk beamed down to a planet to stop a renagade captain Ronald Tracey. One guard got vaped, and Tracey killed hundreds of netives with his phaser, but Leslie was alble to hold the wacko hostage and escort him back to the ship. Probably the first time a redshirt escort wasn't taken out by the escortee.

And then, the big moment...

[edit] Leslie finally dies

“Took, long, enough.”

~ Captain Kirk on Lt. Leslie dying

Finally, Kirk stretched his redshirt's abilities too thin, when he beamed down to planet Argus X to fight a vampire cloud.

Before the first commercial, the cloud had sucked the blood out of all three redshirts. Including Leslie. Leslie was no more.

[edit] But then...

LESLIE RETURNS!!!

“YOU CANT BE FUCKING SERIOUS!!!”

~ Captain Kirk on forgetting to talk funny

Unbelievably, just as Kirk was crossing off the name of his least favorite lieutenant, Leslie came back! He resumed his duties, and continued defying the odds.

Only problem is, no one is sure exactly how he came back.

but who cares, Star Trek is full of mistakes anyway, everyone's just happy that our Leslie is alive!!!

“Well, I'm, not!”

~ Captain Kirk on Lt. Leslie coming back to life

“Shut up, Kirk!”

~ Captain Picard on Lt. Leslie

[edit] Hypotheses why Leslie kept surviving

Leslie in the captain's chair. WTF???

1) He had a name. Leslie had a name, and therefore, was not a nameless redshirt, and therefore doesn't have to die.

Debunked) Many Redshirts with names died. Hendorf, Tormolen, Kelso...

2) Okay... then, his name isn't stupid sounding like theirs. They probably reserve the good names for those who aren't supposed to die.

Debunked) ...Matthews, Green, O'Neil...

3) His name was girly, so they thought he was a Yeoman. Yeomen don't die.

Debunked) ...Tracy, Mallory, and Jordan. Also, Yeomen died occasionally.

3)He didn't talk. Usually, the redshirt gets a single line before being murdered. Since Leslie never spoke, his time could never come.

Debunked) Several redshirts didn't get lines. Matthews and Kaplan are examples of that.

4) Fuck, you know a lot of background names. Okay, he's an alien. Aliens don't die as much. Also explains why he could survive getting all his blood sucked out of him.

Debunked. Plenty of aliens die in Star Trek, and besides, Mr. Spock is the only alien allowed in the entire Enterprise crew.

5) No one could do his job. When not beaming down, he was seen at the same bridge chair every episode. Maybe nobody else could do that job.

Debunked) Whenever Leslie beamed down, someone had to take his place, right? Besides, that station never did anything anyway.

6) Pure dumb luck. The producers just never got around to killing his character off.

Ummmm...) Actually, we can't think of a way to disprove this one. I guess that must be why our esteemed lieutenant hasn't bit the dust yet.

[edit] See also

• Redshirt
• James T. Kirk