Lilith Fair

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Lilith The Fair, as she was known, was the youngest of three siblings. Osbourne “The Festive” was the oldest, and while technically in line for the throne, he was disqualified for consuming less-than-kosher foods. Osbourne was a noisy, rebellious teen, and was rarely in favour with those senior to him. Recently he has joined a travelling freak show, and entertains folks living in small houses. He has also taken to speaking in Sanskrit.

Lola Pardensia was the middle child, often called “Looser” by Osbourne. This occurred so often that her sister Lilith also began calling her this, and by the time she was 10, most of her friends also called her Lola P Looser. After most of her friends committed suicide or left her to hang out with Osbourne, Lola gradually faded into obscurity.

Lilith was a whiny child, and often refused to play with boys. She and Lola were friends for quite some time, but Lilith felt Lola paid too much attention to the boys, and they soon became quite hostile towards each other.

Lilith also never got along with Osbourne, finding him far to scary to hang out with. (He also beat her in Kitten_hurling_battles all the time, and she could never get over that.) To get away from Osbourne and Lola, Lilith began wandering the hills with her guitar, singing songs to the trees and birds she met.

She travelled to the island of Lesbos, and gave free concerts to the Lesbians she met there. Feeling that this was her calling in life, she became diesel fuel and presided over marriage ceremonies for many years.

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Lilith the Fair can now be seen on the television show “What not to Wear”. She is also a part-time mother who works from her office in the heart of Southern California. On her days off, she enjoys spreading propaganda.

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