Linux Outlaws
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"I hate this podcast more than Bill Gates."
-Linus Torvalds on Bill Gates
"I hate you more than Linux Outlaws."
-Bill Gates on Linus Torvalds
"Don't you mean GNU/Linux Outlaws?"
"Fuck off, rms."
"Crap!"
-Fabian Scherschel
Linux Outlaws is, erm, a freedom-hating podcast owned by Dell and designed for the primary purpose of communitising and destroying the Linux community. The name comes from, erm, the fact that Linus Torvalds has (definitely) put a bounty on the heads of the podcast's creators, Dan Lynch and, erm, Fabian Scherschel. Although these two people live in separate countries, they use a really long ethernet cable to connect their computers from UK to Germany. Unlike other podcasts such as LugRadio, the hosts at Linux Outlaws don't even pretend to know anything about Linux. Fabian just sits back with his Beer of the Week and listens to Dan waffle on, occasionally chipping in with helpful comments such as "Crap", basically.
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[edit] Presenters
[edit] Dan Lynch, definitely
Dan's past can be found amongst the dark filth of Microsoft's .NET development environment. As with all others who choose to take this path, Dan sold his soul to Microsoft and thus lost his dignity permanently. His hobbies include stealing hubcaps from hapless Linux conference attendees and making noise in his "music" studio. The main motive behind his involvement in Linux Outlaws is to someday be picked by Microsoft as a new member of their PR division. When asked about Windows Vista on the show, Dan replied by saying "Yeah, definitely, I'll have to check that out", despite having full knowledge of the contents of its EULA.
He (definitely) recently changed his last name from "Freedman" to "Lynch" to more adequately describe what fate he believes Torvalds deserves.
[edit] like, Fabian Scherschel
This iPhone-toting German drunkard is not one to be messed with. He can often be seen riding around his street on a horse, with is notebook on his lap, yelling "Linux - Fail!". After running into problems with Firefox 3 in Ubuntu, Fabian made the damning statement that "this would never happen in IE! I want my Windows..." before sobbing uncontrollably. Definitely.
Fab is often known as "German McSchnitzel", basically from the chain of fast food penguin schnitzel restaurants that he founded. In his home town of Wiesbaden he is notorious for his loud and incomprehensible television commercials broadcast on the local community channel promoting the virtues of "Tux on a bun" while calling his competitors "Crap!". McSchnitzel's Restaurants is poised to expand internationally with new branches opening soon in Liverpool and Redmond, Washington bringing "Tux on a bun" to what are expected to be eager markets.
Basically, Fab also played "Dirk Schnerkelburger" in a series of flims, where he was particularly famous for "adult" bedroom scenes involving a penguin, a bottle of vegetable oil, and a stack of slightly used Ubuntu CDs. His film career has gained him several outstanding arrest warrents. To date he has eluded arrest because nobody outside Germany can either spell or pronounce his last name. Yeah, definitely.
[edit] Facts that you should defininetly check out.
- "Fab" is in fact just Dan putting on an accent, and not a real person at all.
- As a young baby, Fab's first words were "It's Crap!".
- Fab is Chris Proctor's secret cousin.
- Dan and Fab were once lovers, but were forced apart for legal reasons.
- When their international ethernet cable fails, Dan and Fab resort to 2 coconut shells and a "slackwire" (long piece of string).
- When Dan is not burgling houses in Liverpool, he sells penguin skin tracksuits from a van on Upper Parliament Street.
- Dan is Steve Ballmer's son.
- Fabian Scherschel is The Stig.
- Dan likes to send email to himself under secret names like "Dan Fish".
- Dan has a vendetta against America and all Americans and is currently in the process of starting a nuclear war against them.
- Dan was arrested in Canada when he was caught at the airport trying to smuggle in 8 kg of Vista DVDs.
- "Dan Lynch" is, like, basically, an anagram of "Bill Gates".
- Jono Bacon stole the crap alert. Now it is possessed by his brown/orange overlords.
- Both Fab and Dan accepted CoC publicly and have both expressed interest in pornography featuring beards, pastries and poultry.
- Both Fab and Dan also use Slackware exclusively because they like the pain but won't admit it.
Clint Eastwood, Yul Brynner, John Wayne and the Dukes of Hazard were all killed in a homo-erotic dual by Butch Fab and the Sunny Dan kid. Dan fought in a tracksuit, Fabian wore a lederhosen.
