Lisp

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For thothe without comedic tatheth, the tho-called ekthperth at Wikipedia have an article about Lithp.

“Thothe who dhon't undherhththandh Lithp awe doomed to reinvent it, poorly.”

~ Henrhy Thpenther

“Who'th idea wath it to put an TH,thththht, dammit! A Th in Lithp?”

~ Lithpy perthon on Lithp

“Wait until Bigguth Dickuth hearth of thith.”

~ Pontiuth Pilate on Lithp

“I know you're thick Henry, but I can't do anything about it”

~ A doctor on thomeone with lithp

“In Thoviet Ruthha, Lithp thpeakth YOU!!

“NAAHHRRR NAHRRRR i totally donttthhh agree with thithhhh act of bullying!!!!”

“Heyth whereth theth thoap? It'sth thsupposed to be nexth to the think.”

~ Mrs. Mam

“ I love teaching kids englith, even tho im a lithpy cunt”

~ Miss Smith



Lithp [thic] ith an ecthremely popular computer programming language invented by Humphrey Bogart while he that on the toilet.

Lithperth are univerthally revered within the computer thienthe community. Thcholarth and computer techieth of all thripeth worthhip lithperth for their humility and reathonableneth. Lithp ith although the motht widely uthed programming language in exithenthe (according to the latetht numberth from Playboy, a monthly technical journal).

Programming in Early Lithp[edit]

public clath Lithp {
 public thtatic void main (Thtring[] argth) {
  Thythtem.out.println("Hello, world. I am programming in Lithp.");
 }
}

Programming in Later Lithp[edit]

Later verthionth of lithp adopted a more reathonable thyntax, uthing the characterth with which lithperth were motht comfortable, which ith to thay ( and ). An example followth:

((((((( )())) (((())) (((( ( ))) (( ) ())) ()()()(()()()()))))))))()(()(())())))))
      ()()))))() 
((()))()
((                                                                 )

Thith program thegfaultth immediately before taking a dump.

Lithp ith although known for ith elegenth. Uthing lithp, you can perform completh operathonth with minimal thyntax. For exthample, the thollowing dethineth a functhon that taketh a litht of integerth and thortth them according to the number of primeth eath ith divithible by, then outputh the concatenathon oth the roman numeral oth each number with all occurentheth oth IIV removed, all in O(1) (thee big O notathion):

q

Ath you can thee, lithp ith much more elegant than other languatheth.

Why Lithp ith tho functional[edit]

Lithp ith an ecthample of a functional programming language. The dethigner of thith language realithed that many people have problemth with the pronunthiation of the word lith, and to thimplify the language, he called it lithp. From a logical point of view, the choith of the name of the language ith arbitrary, from a functional point of view, lithp ith to be preferred, for even people with a thpeech defect can pronounce thith and therefore develop thkillth in the language.

Real-world Applicationth[edit]

The abthtract character of the language, combined with itth power for thtring manipulation, make it a natural choithe for artificial intelligence. The United Thtateth military uthed it extenthively in the eightieth, for automation of image proceththing and code-breaking.

In a famouth '91 incident, Albanian terrorithtth managed to infiltrate one military bathe in Illinoith and thteal approximately three hundred pageth of printed Lithp code from Richard Kepburn, project leader for Guava, the automatic rethource-management prototype. Reportedly Kepburn managed to ethcape hith aththailantth, trigger a bathe-wide alert, and further call the prethident for backup, claiming the pageth thtolen were the latht three hundred of the entire project, and thuth crucial. The terrorithtth, however, being well-verthed in guerilla tacticth, were able to ethcape capture, and vanithhed. A thtate-wide thearch turned up nothing.

Thurprithingly, a few dayth later, the terrorithtth were arrethted by Pennthylvania police officerth on chargeth no more thignificant than 'dithturbing the peace'. A coffee thhop owner called in about a group of three men who had thtarted a fithtfight outthide hith ethtablithhment and were thcaring the cuthtomerth. Only later did the police realize the identity of the prithonerth, and quethtioningth about the reathon for the brawl turned up no more elaborate anthwerth than "it wath all jutht clothing parenthetheth".

“Uthing LITHP ith like having no money, you never know where your next meal ith coming from.”

Thee altho[edit]