List of British Monarchs

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search
Steamroller.JPG Stop hand nuvola alternate.svg THIS ARTICLE NEEDS A STEAMROLLER!!! Stop hand nuvola alternate.svg
Sometimes the foundations are so rotten and bad that the only good and constructive action is demolishing everything and starting from scratch. In other words, rewrite this article. It's in such a bad state that you may ignore all of its current contents if you like.


But be a mother fucker! DO IT!!!


This is a list of the Monarchs of England, Scotland, Ireland, Great Britain, the United Kingdom, Britannia, Victoria, The Queen's Hizzouse. The Queen's Hizzouze, the grave of the lead singer of Queen, and that island. You know the one. It has the cities and the airports, you know? And the cities have airports? You know what I'm talking about, right? Right.

House Pwnage[edit]

  • The First British Monarch was King Jesus I, Lord of All he Surveyed and King of the Philistines. He was succeeded by his fourth son,
  • King Excellence I the Glorious, ruling from -289238 CX to -5489078579 WP. Notable accomplishments during his reign include the rebuilding of the Invisible Wall of China and the creation of public "beer n' hoe" stations. At these places, peasants could watch as Lords and Kights were furnished with all the beer they could drink and hoes they could wrestle. His reign is also notable for the severe jump in male peasant suicide rates. Succeeded by his son/daughter,
  • King/Queen Alex the WTF????. The first hermaphrodite King/Queen, King Alex's reign is quite notable for being all of twenty minutes long. Even the suicidal peasants didn't want to be ruled by someone this weird. I mean, really.

House Excellence[edit]

  • After the whole him/her fiasco, the peasantry of Britain was allowed to choose their own ruler for once. The King-elect was then immdiately put to death by the nobles, who proceeded to feel secure, knowing that there was no-one behind whom the peasants could unite and revolt. They then installed King Excellence MCMXVIII the Gloriouser, who was on fire at all times. It was pretty cool, btu you had to be there to understand.

Masters of the Universe[edit]

  • King Adam of Eternia- King Adam became king when he pulled the Sword of Chivalry from Vin Diesel. However, the peasants started to question his motives when that Man at Arms dude was getting a little too close. They were not too happy either when King Adam would scream out with his sword in the air and get all bulky and ride off to "Castle Greyskull", wherever the hell that was. He was quickly overthrown by the peasants and a bunch of shady characters.
  • King Terrell of Owens- Really good king for one year, then got really upset that he wasn't getting paid enough and started hating on his Prime Minister. Eventually traded to the Kingdom of Broncos for a player to be named.

See also[edit]