List of Jesus' special moves
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
File:Jesustiger2.jpg The following is a list of Jesus' known special moves. More are discovered every day as the The Bible is continually changing.
Contents |
[edit] Hadouken
Originally taught to Jesus circa 8000BC by Ryu and Ken Masters. A powerful ball of energy is released from the palms of the hands towards an opponent. It is normally performed by moving the joystick a quarter circle forward towards the opponent from the down position.
[edit] Dragon Uppercut
Another move taught by Ryu and Ken. It is a spiraling punch moving at an upward arc-type motion.
[edit] Laser Eye Beams
Jesus can fire a powerful laser beam from his eyes. Jesus achieved this power by stealing Scott Summers' eyes in a battle against the X-Men. Jesus later installed an on/off switch inside his left nostril so he wouldn't have to wear sunglasses all the time.
[edit] Levitation
The ability to levitate was learnt from studying common day flying saucers.
[edit] One-inch Punch
The move used by Jesus to kill martial arts expert, Bruce Lee. Lee snuck into Jesus' den whilst Jesus was having a power nap and stole his One-inch Punch. Jesus retaliated instantly by melting Lee's face off with his Laser Eye Beams, before delivering a successfully retrieved One-inch Punch.
[edit] Gomu Gomu no Machinegun
[edit] Force Lightning
Similar to all Sith Lords, Jesus can fire electric bolts from his fingertips into an opponents, thus rendering them dead.
[edit] HAPPY AUSTRALIA DAY
Probably the most manly move Jesus has. It instantly gives everyone in a 100m radius sausage sandwiches. If you happen to be an enemy of Jesus the sausage sandwiches will be poisonous.
[edit] Hockey Stick
When armed with a hockey stick, Jesus just beats the shit out of anyone nearby. File:Hockeyjesus7bq4po.jpg
