Locofoco

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“Give me liberty, or kill those fucking locofocos”

~ Patrick Henry on Locofocos

“I have a dream, that one day all locofocos will have their fucking heads cut off.”

~ Martin Luther King Jr. on His dream

“Don't fire till you see the charging locofoco-then blow their fuckin heads off.”

~ Unknown on Anti-Locofoco Battle Techniques

“You have nothing to fear except fear itself-and a crazy locofoco coming at you with a knife”

~ FDR on Fear

“Ask not what locofocos can do for you...but what you can do for locofocos”

~ JFK on Locofocos

“I am not a Locofoco!”

~ Richard Nixon on Himself

Locofocos, or "asian lunies" are a type of Asian rapist. They are known to have come from deep within the jungles of Asia. The newest known locofoco is Josh Takabori. They prey on little children and enjoy certain types of "bro rape". I would know because I am a locofoco myself. They are often noted because of their unusally large penis. Anyone who survives the raping of a locofoco usual dies within the next 24 hours due to rectal hemorrhage. The secret society of locofocos are not known. The only sign we have had in the last 50 years of the whereabouts of the locos was the body of a mutilated boy, suspected of being a victim to a locofoco. The boy was later identified as loco grandmaster, Josh Takabori himself.

Contents 1 Tips on keeping the locos away: 2 Some of the most known locofocos: 3 Origins of the Locofoco 4 Words that came from the loco language 5 Locofoco Traditions 6 Good Citizen Behavior 7 Cool Facts About the Locos: 8 Television Series

[edit] Tips on keeping the locos away:

• Do not make any sort of mating call
• Try not to look innocent or like a child
• If you see one, run and scream "O Shit!"
• Usually, if you beat them with a large stick they go away-however, not always
• Make sure you get wrist control, then take out your gun

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[edit] Some of the most known locofocos:

• Josh Takabori
• Anthony "The Thundercat" Desalvatore
• Lancey Romancey (Romances his victims with his superior knowledge of "pwning n00bs")
• Ravi Sharma (Using his special doctoring skills to overcome his victims)
• Matt Taylor (His bad dancing attracts many in the locofoco community)
• Elmer Fudd (Why else was he chasing that rabbit?)
• Malcolm X (He used the word "jigaboo" in his autobiography, which is an obvious reference to the locofoco culture)
• Barry Bonds (He has the word "locofoco" tattoed in a circular pattern around the rim of his anus)
• Negro Watson (He's just one crazy locofoco)
• Ringo Starr (See Negro Watson)
• David Song (His crazy asian antics are taken directly from ancient locofoco rituals)
• Lance Davenport (Represents the Counter-strike Locofoco clan, pwns n00bs in the name of locofoco)

[edit] Origins of the Locofoco

Millions of years ago, the first loco tribe was founded by the great George Washington, after a glorious raping of King George III. Washington converted to locofocoism, promising to rape everything he saw. Later throughout his career, Washington came up with the name for his country, the "United States of Rape," after having his "cherry tree chopped down" by a newborn he was attempting to rape. After he named the country, non-locos rejected the term, referring to the country as the "United States of America."

[edit] Words that came from the loco language

• Rape (After someone got raped)
• Applesauce (After the locos ate applesauce after a thourough rape session of the Mohican tribe)
• Orange (Their word for pubic hair, lost in translation in the English language)
• Crumbalieveable (On the eve of the 4th of Locofoco Christmas, which they celebrate in light of Andrew Jackson, the prophet of the Locofocos, a thourough Orangina drink-fest provoked the word when Merberg's stench plaugued the party. Josh Takabori, locofoco grandmaster, described the stench as "Crumbalieveable," and now the term is used to describe healthy, tasty fast food snacks)

[edit] Locofoco Traditions

After waking up, every locofoco must rape their willing daughter, a hard task to acheive because rape is defined as unwanted sex. If a locofoco fails to rape their daughter, often punishments vary from gaining weight to having their "Rape Daughter" be cast into the sea with a 10 ton stone fastened around their neck.

[edit] Good Citizen Behavior

Many locos are motavated to rape evferything that moves from the great rewards that are offered. These include: being castrated, getting raped(till death), getting your dick chopped off, raping others(till death), and other various events related to rape.

[edit] Cool Facts About the Locos:

• If you go into a dark room and say locofoco into a mirror 5 times, you will see the ghost of Andrew Jackson and there is a possiblity he will steal your soul.

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• Ethnic Groups: The most common type of locofocos are usually Asians, however other known celebrities such as Phil Bernardi and Angelina Jolie have been "closet locofocos" for the past 8 years.
• Racist Remarks Towards Locofocos : Locofocos are generally despised, having heard terms such as:
• Those fucking locos
• Porch Locos
• Locofoco
• Native Americans
• O shit a loco
• Niggerfaggot
• Jigaboo Locofoco

[edit] Television Series

In the early 1990's, the Locofocos had a brief television stunt playing the villain on the popular cartoon The Adventures of President Grover Cleveland. They would frequently hatch comical, slapstick plots to murder or otherwise harm Mr. President or his family and friends. They would always be foiled by the President, usually by the President's own brand of justice, the newly-invented Phillip's Head Screwdriver. He would usually jam the screwdriver into the testicles of an unsupecting Locofoco, releasing goods stolen throughout the episode, usually candy or the tears of dead orphans. The series came to a grinding halt in 1994 when Andrew Jackson's ghost was released from the Shadow Realm and kidnapped the writers of the show, igniting a chain reaction of events that would lead to the Dinosaur-NFL War of 2004.

Historical Note: The show was based upon factual information, as Gover Clevelands last words were: "KILL ALL THOSE FUCKING LOCOFOCOS!"

Also, Samuel L. Jackson was quoted at the 232nd Oscars as saying: "I'm sick of all these motherfucking locofocos on this motherfucking stage!" After which he proceeded to tear out Halle Berry's heart and the Locofoco within.