London congestion charge

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The most efficient way to get stuck in traffic and lose money. In fact it is so efficient that other cities have followed lead.
For those without comedic tastes, the "questionable parody" of this website called Wikipedia have an article about London congestion charge.

“It's not easy being green.”

~ Kermit the Frog on reducing carbon emmisions.

The London congestion charge is a scheme implemented by the people's former dictator of London, Ken Livingstone (before his position was usurped by Lord Boris of Johnson) who is researching new and interesting ways of spending public money for the greater good of his prosperity. It is loosely based on the principle of prostitution, in that people are charged to get into a dirty hole. Supposedly implemented to reduce carbon emissions and traffic in Central London it has successfully managed to reduce the amount of traffic by 0. So successful that the people's dictator decided to extend the scheme eastwards in a bid to cut yet more traffic by 0.

The practicalities[edit]

The congestion charge is simply a set of CBBCTV cameras installed strategically around every road, including the end of one way streets, which perimeters Central London. It records every registration number and checks it against records to see if the person inside has paid. It is a common sighting to see a man jump in front of the tv when he opens his mail claiming that he has not paid the congestion charge. heeheehaahaa

From the dictator's point of view[edit]


Ken being green - You wouldn't like him when he's angry. Or at any other time for that matter.
  • More Money.
  • Better publicity for being green. Ken Livingstone is a shithead cunt who hates his own people actually, you may have noticed that he stops anything thats English even though he is an Englishman. He seems to hate his own country and people, and that's why he needs to be shot with an AK-47 before he takes over.
  • Heeeeeerreeesss JONNYY!!!
  • Iron-Man VS Farnni
  • Less Traffic.
  • More Cabs (Black people will love this sight)


  • It cuts carbon emissions by 0.0000001% in the short term.
  • More Busses (Indians will hate this sight)
  • Profit!!! (When a government has extra money it starts having ideas and trying to do things, which is of course a terrifying possibility.)