Lost in the Amazon
Holy f***! I'm on a boat, on a river and guess what - it's heading towards a f***ing waterfall. And there's a f***ing leopard trying to kill me and lots of f***ing alligators in the water. What the f*** is this, some lame adventure movie?
So What Happens Next...?
Fuck. (Sorry, my * key is broken. Stuff you, two year olds). I know what you're thinking. There really IS NO waterfall or boat or alligators of that fucking leopard that - aaaaaargh! - just fucking bit off my leg. In fact, there's no Amazon Rainforest either, with strangulatering pythons, bottomless holes with spikes at the bottom or head-hunting pygmies with laser guns. You think it's just a - FUCKING - story! Well - (Fuck of, Leopard, I'm trying to type here) - it's not! It's real! And while you sit your fat arse on the computer and laugh at my troubles, I'm fucking dying here!
And The Waterfall's Getting Closer Too...
Ok. Goodbye world. Goodbye <insert name here>, you brutal motherfucker. Farewell.
Holy shit! I just grabbed onto a vine! Yippee! And the boat's fallen off the edge and that fuckin' damn leopards fuckin' crushed and dead! Yippeee!
Yes, fuck. 'Cause now the alligators are jumping up, trying to eat me and an army of head-hunting pygmies with laser guns (I told you they were real) are gathering at the edge, and - wtf? - they've got a bloody star destroyer and are about to DESTROY me! This is gettig way to unrealistic. But hey - it's probably a stupid Disney adventure movie; you have to put up this type of crap.
What to do? What to do? Do I choose to fall and be swept off that fucking waterfall and be, like, crushed into nothing, get eaten by alligators or destroyed by some lame Star Wars ship? Or should I just create a broken link? What will I do? WHAT WILL I DO??? Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!
GAME OVER. WELCOME TO THE AFTERLIFE. DO YOU WISH TO PLAY AGAIN?
Well, yes. Sorry about the lame ending, but that's the truth. It was a computer game. Probably a crappy [Porno|Disney]] adventure computer game based on a crappy Disney adventure movie. It' so crappy in fact I don't even know. And thank God (bless Him) that that's all the crap we have tonight. Goodnight.
- Ya mum.
- This the the end.