Louisiana

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search
State Flower: Lilly pad
Official Language: Prawnsays, Prenchy Germish, Angles
Government: Hurricanes
Governor: Hurricane Katrina
State Bird: Oily Skin
State Motto: Parley boo prawnsay!
State Rock Tar balls
Location: The Boot
State Beverage bathtub gin
Demographics Prenchy, Prench Pried Germans & Back Water Folk
State Club Swingers and Perves
Official Plant Gater
Principle imports Hurricanes
Principal exports Poor Black refugees
Religion Voodoo
ATTENTION: Residents of areas affected by Louisiana are advised to seek advice and information from local authorities through television and radio, and official weather forecast web sites (links below). Information on an encyclopedia may not be current or applicable to your area.

Do not decide whether to leave your house, shelter or vehicle based on Uncyclopedia information. In fact, do not decide to do anything in your life based on Uncyclopedia information. Except if we tell you to leave the area. Because staying in the path of a 120-mile-per-hour hurricane is beyond DUMB.

Louisiana is a relatively small state in the Southern US notable for it's achievments in seafood, drinking, off shore drilling, voodoo, fireworks, Jazz music, violent crime, and roving bands of illegitmate children. The capital is Baton Rouge, and the largest city is New Orleans, which is surrounded by the Gulf of Mexico to the southeast and swampy marshland and dark forests to the northwest that are viciously guarded by Voodoo Queen Marie Laveau.
The Louisiana state quarter.

Namesake[edit]

Louis I. Ana, foreman of the three year job to build Louisiana with Louis and Anna, drunkenly signed his name into the shoreline (sans-spaces) in the year AD 900. 628 years later, Pánfilo de Narváez set foot in Louisiana to discover the rum-induced signature.

Geography[edit]

How Louisiana is shaped. (Actual size may vary.)

In third grade classrooms across the country, Louisiana is commonly referred to as the one that's shaped like an elbow and isn't Florida. Alternatively, it is the boot that isn't Italy. Regardless, in the Deep South, it's about as deep as it gets.

Morgan City, LA

Food and Culture[edit]

“What is she doing in there? Ah no, she just yelled, 'Get back in that pot!' Why does it smell like a burning tire? I hope it's not what we had last night. There's something wrong with crawfish staring at it you while you tear it in half. It tasted like a flaming oil tanker. And here she comes... Oh god, they don't expect me to eat that, do they? There's a tentacle in there. Please don't give me the tentacle, please don't give me the tentacle, please don't give me the tentacle... fantastic. A tentacle. And a... I have no idea what that is. Why is she smiling at me? Oh god, I'm going to have to take a bite. Okay, just smile and choke it down. Spoon in... and I get the tentacle. Here it goes, *gugh-ugh, gahh!* Hmm... not bad. Not bad at all. Actually this may be the most delicious thing I have ever had in my life!"”
~ Husband visiting In-Laws on Cajun Food
.

Tea Emporium[edit]

Louisianananans have a patent for a highly toxic variety of tea, they call 'SWEAAAT-T' which will render the drinker Diabetic from the first mouthful. Its ingredients are highly top secret, but they are believed to be Tea. It is customary to mix SWEAAAT-T with burbon to hush your baby, Britney Spears, a Louisiananana native sure knows.

Louisiana State University Tigarrhea[edit]

"No joke, the Louisiana State University Fighting Tigers football team may be the last good reason to rock US. They're like the 1972 Miami Dolphins, only better because they're not old, unlike the USC trojans who are a disgrace and over-rated."

~ Person suffering from Tigarrhea


LSU Tigarrhea is a disease that plagues more than 90% of Louisiana's population common symptoms include thinking that the Tigers are "the goodest thing bout louisiana", buying useless LSU shirts or other merchandise especially if you didn't attend LSU or attended a rival school, and saying things like "geaux Tigers". If you know someone who exhibits these symptoms please alert them to their idiotic behavior immediately.

Notable Residents[edit]

Hurricane Katrina

Louis Armstrong

Britney Spears

Lil' Wayne

Louisiana in the News[edit]

File:UnNews Louisiana jails overflow after town bans saggy pants.mp3

See Also[edit]