Messenger

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WARNING: This article has a lot of computer humor. If you don't understand it, you aren't a geek press Alt+F4 (or ⌘-Q on a Mac)) to optimize it.

WARNING: A lot of this article seems to have been written in Engrish. This adds to the hilarity.

Pidgin. Linux Messenger

“Mazinger? What wants the damned robot now?!”

~ George Bush on messenger

“Oh! I got it. So we are talking about the Pope.”

~ George Bush on the same topic

“Seriously, This time it's true!”

~ A useless friend on messenger

“WTF!! lol!”

~ some emo teenager

“So where do u wanna meet??”

~ rapist although perceived as a 14 year old boy

Overview[edit]

Messenger is a cattle-driven program that sends mess to other intercom users around the globe using the system code 'Enger++++++++++plusplus'.

The principles of Messenger are realitively simple and can be shown with this simple convo'.

Messenger 1 says: 
       what are the princibles of messenger?
Messenger 2 says: 
       to mess is to message, messages create messenger.
Messenger 1 says: 
       that explains nothing
Messenger 2 says: 
       you have a a lot to learn....neo
Messenger 1 says: 
       my name is hansen
Messenger 1 left the conversation
Messenger 2 says: red or blue?

The mess sent across the globe is delivered by lightning fast carrier boar, much like a chair lift the boars are deep underground and can transfer many messages every second, depending on the amount of bytes the carrier boar can have.

Boarcarrier.jpg

  • 1 byte = approximately 8 bits of mess.
  • 8 bytes = 1 mess(age).
  • 1000 bytes = 1 kilovomit

The rules of Messenger[edit]

  • All conversations must work on the basic format:
1: Yo/Hey/Hello/Hi
2: Hey wasup/Yo, how's it going/Hello there, how r u?/Hi dude, u ok?
1: Not bad/Great thanks/alrite cheers
2: cool/wicked/grand
1: what you been up to/WUBU2/u had a nice day?/sup?
2: not much u?
1: same
  • The words "l337" and "hax" may only be used in highly appropriate situations.
1: I am a hax0r
2: same
  • The words "sure", "same", "lol", and "kk" are to be used as frequently as possible.
1: I am a hax0r
2: sure

Messenger and you[edit]

There are many exciting aspects of messenger, again shown in this conversation.

Peter says: 
        asl
Candy says: 
        19/f/ca
Peter says: 
        cool me too
Candy says: 
        cool
Peter says: 
        wanna cyber
Candy says: 
        ok
Peter says:
        *puts penis in vagina*
Candy says: 
        that felt good thx
Peter says: 
        cool
Candy says: 
        wanna meet up and get married
Peter says: 
        yeah ok
Candy says: 
        meet me at the park tommorow

And surprisingly there are some bad aspects.

i4n da l337 hax0r says: 
        send me your new hax dude
sn3aky! Ni9eL! sends:
   accept(Alt+C)  Save As...(Alt+S)  decline(Alt+D) 
i4n da l337 hax0r says: 
        sweet thx man
sn3aky! Ni9eL! says: 
        nps dude
CIA OFFICER says: 
        Caught you red handed!
i4n da l337 hax0r says: 
        shit, block him quick!

Messenger and them[edit]

Messenger conversations, or to the well mannered 'convo's' vary from country to country and continent to country, and visa versa, a few examples are;

The United Kingdom of Great Britain

William says: 
        Hello Roger, how are the evening classes going?
Roger says: 
        Not bad thanks William, I made a pretty bow last night
William says: 
        Spiffing, you bent?
Roger says: 
        Unbelievebly so!
William says: 
        You big poofter you!
Roger says: 
        Oh sod off!
William says: 
        Invite Peter, I heard he has a new lass.
Roger says: 
        Can't do that Bill, blocked the bastard ages ago!
William says: 
        Oh you joker you!

"not all english people talk like this....just royalty and wankers!"

The United States of USA

Randy says: 
        Surfs up!
Sandra says: 
        same
Randy says: 
        taht makes no sense
Sandra says: 
        kk
Randy says: 
        whats going on sandra????
Sandra says: 
        suuure
Randy says: 
        omg
Sandra says: 
        same


The Commonwealth of Australia

Bruce says: 
        gday bro. sup?
Chazza says: 
        smashed on goon. just unched on with sum wog cunt in parra u?
Bruce says: 
        just drank half a slab of vb n had a madd wank
Chazza says: 
        sweet as. its your bday 2moz ay? how old r u turnin?
Bruce says: 
        12

Related articles[edit]

Did you know...?[edit]

  • ...that Mr. T's Windows Live address is [email protected]?
  • ...thanks to Messenger, Bowser could Masturbate by the first time (Peach sent him a very HOT photo!!!).
  • ...I already added you [email protected]?.

Notice[edit]

We didn't write the e-mail addresses of the sample contacts (with a few exceptions) to protect their privacy (besides, their private life isn't any interesting). privacy is noy intressenting and 'hi'

See Also[edit]

MSN Messenger's Guide to Manners, Proper Behavior and Slapstick no