Macaroni
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“Ahh, Macaroni! What will you do next?”
~ AwEsUm on Macaroni
“What are you waiting for? You're faster than this. Don't think you are, know you are. Come on. Stop trying to hit me and hit me.”
~ Morpheus on boxing
“That's what she said.”
~ J2800 on the last quote
“If real is what you can feel, smell, taste and see, then 'real' is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain”
~ Morpheus on reality
“I'm just some lunatic macaroni mushroom, is that it?”
~ Joe Pesci on Evolution
Contents |
[edit] Macaroni
Macaroni is a variety of things: A dinosaur's delight, cruel art project, and a cheesy death. Macaroni has become a revolutionized nickname as well: The Big Mac™; Mac&Cheese©; and the list goes on.
[edit] Creation
Marconi conceptualized this then theoretical space time theorem while eating pasta with his mother on a fine Sunday evening. His mother had put on just enough cheese, just how he likes it, and it struck him that by bending pasta into the shape of his mother's teeth he could yell into them and they would reverberate back the sound at a volume 6.003x10^23s times louder than he had spoken into it with. By doing this he:
- created energy
- Also created mass
- destroyed energy
- subsequently destroyed mass.
theologians think that it isn't possible that Marconi could have possibly done all 6 of these things at once, ""but it did happen, mind you"".
[edit] Morse Code
For moulding the spaghetti into a macaroni shape, the Morse alphabet was developed.
In this alphabet, there are essentially only two shapes, a dot-shape and a hyphen-shape.
These are referred to as:
The first tests of this system were made by Giguilemi Macaroni atop Signal Hill in the Dominion of Newfoundland and served with the finest of old cheddar.
As macaroni in dots is too small to be edible, simplified morse alphabets only know the hyphen and have got rid of the dots. Where the traditional marconists kept alternating dee's and dah's whilst moulding the spaghetti in more subtle shapes, modern ones sound far more monotonous.
This may be why the original Macaroni system of radio telegraphy has been supplanted by TV Dinners.
[edit] Evolution of the pasta?
1862-In the dark recesses of the Amazonian Jungle, there was a small tribe of natives known as the Lashasa Palulu. They were devout Macaroonies and treasured their all powerful LORD Macaracioniea who was benevolent and good. Their LORD would bless them with 0% APR on their spear insurance every other Tuesday. Then, one day, a group of white men, who were actually just explorers looking for fame. Then the LORD Macaracioniea materialized from the Town Centre Cheese Vat and smote them with smitey smiteness of smite and pain. Then the LORD Macaracioniea put a curse upon their people that would last until the eleventh son of the sixth daughter of the nineteenth grandchild of Jeezit Krisp ate an entire box of Kraft Mac-N-Cheese by himself made with Nonfat milk. This curse was called the Cellular Phone.
And that, kids, is how the world exploded!
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