Madame Bovary

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For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article very remotely related to Madame Bovary.

Madamme (Emma) Bovary (1914 - 1996) was made famous by being portraited by Gustave Flaubert as a lonely, solitary, hairy woman whose only joy comes from eating the perfect filet of yellow fin tuna. As this species became extinct she got increasingly depressed.

Emma attempted to find love during the depression by travelling to America stashed away inside a spare finger for the Statue of Liberty being delivered from France.

From 1988 she became a master dietitian and curred many people from obisitey like K.H Frank Milton Friedman and Alfonzo Malehood. One of her prolific tricks to make people lose weight was to lock them in Turkmen deli and leave them their for a month. Most people lost a lot of weight because the only product avaliable in a Turkmen deli is a Pickled CD Player. This trick didn't work with people who were Turkmen Uzbek and British.