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'Till the going down of the sun...

November 25: Feel Vague Anxiety Whilst Examining A Tattoo You Got On A Drunken Impulse Day

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procrastination
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  • ...that the film industry of Mediocre Britain has become one of the most successful film industries in the world as its wise and far-sighted producers, realising in the mid-80’s that people were afraid of any form of innovation or originality in the cinema, endlessly re-make the same 3 movies?
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Writer and Noob of the Month
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Some generic night in some generic town. A generic storm is howling down generic streets. A generic person wakes up frightfully, staring down a hooded figure holding a scythe, which does not look generic at all.

You...you...you...are...the Grim Reaper? mumbles the frightened generic person Have you come for my soul?

Not at all, my dear fellow a wicked smiles forms inside the hood although it's a common mistake.

I am, in fact, a Brothel Keeper, but my friends call me Necropaxx.

The hooded figure winks its red eyes as it waves around what seems to be, under close inspection, a squeaky rubber scythe. Yes yes, I run a nice whorehouse for hippies down the road. Also, I make cheese. Sometime I put the cheese in the toaster. Sometimes I put my customers in the toaster. Oops, did I say that out loud?

The hooded figure leans more closely towards the generically frightened person, peering at him intently.

I believe you will do nicely with a nice glass of Bordeaux. Yes my dear fellow. I did not come for your soul, I came for your body. Medium rare.


Noobaward.jpg

"Ladies and gentlemen, we shall now commence our countdown sequence. Launch sequence initiated in ten...nine...eight...seven..." (countdown is abruptly stopped as some hysterical screams can be heard in the background)

"Jesus H. Christ! What IS that thing!"

"It...it...it looks like a turd...but like a...like a...500 ft tall turd! IT'S THE 500 FT TALL TURD MONSTER!!"

"Wait, what is that thing it's pushing just ahead of it?"

"It looks like...it looks like a coal wheelbarrow?"

"And what the hell is pinned to its vile back?!"

"Seems like a sign...?"

"What does it say?!"

"Going to Newcastle. Please walk the dog."


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