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Today's Featured Article -

Recently featured:

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Yesterday's Featured Article -

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured.png UnNews:Elephant beaten to death with grandmother, featured on 17 April 2013. See the featured version.
Above Top Secret, featured on 17 April 2012. See the featured version.
Last of the Mohicans, featured on 17 April 2011. See the featured version.
You should talk about ponies - A letter to Bill Richardson, featured on 17 April 2009. See the featured version.
UnScripts:Heinous Dan, featured on 17 April 2008. See the featured version.
UnNews:Bush sautes Tuskegee Airmen, featured on 17 April 2007. See the featured version.
That old woman next door, featured on 17 April 2006. See the featured version.

Did you know...

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  • ...that early in her career, Angelina Jolie used extensive CGI effects to cover up her anorexia? (pictured)
  • ...that packets of silica gel that say "DO NOT EAT" on them are actually delicious?
  • ...that Cup Stacking is a real sport? No, really.
  • ...that the keyboard you have been using has more germs than your toilet seat?
  • ...that the sound of a kitten falling into a wood chipper is still more pleasant than listening to Kidz Bop?
  • ...that half of all American schoolchildren graduate in the bottom 50% of their class?
  • ...that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word?

In the news

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  • Life as orphans better than life in America says Russia.

On this day...

Ring around the Planet

April 17: Genocide Appreciation Day

  • 50 AD - The Roman Empire invests in a program where Christians die for their own entertainment. Today, this program is known a Pay-Per-View.
  • 1783 - America wins its war for independence. Agrees as an unwritten agreement to continue the British policy of deindanization.
  • 1525 - Cortéz kills all the dirty Aztecs and purifies Mexico by ordering his men to rape the Aztec women. All are thankful.
  • 1555 - After 18 months of siege, Siena surrenders to the Imperial army. The Republic of Siena is incorporated into the Grand Douche of The Dark Side. Italians begin tanning. Fist pump their way to the Coastal United States.
  • 1915 - The Armenian Genocide begins. Nobody cares.
  • 1932 - Joseph Stalin starves his own people as a "practical joke"; thousands die.
  • 1940 - Adolf Hitler attempts to cleanse Europe of Jews and other minority groups; instead his efforts create resistent minorities that will eat his flesh alive.
  • 1960-something - The Beatthose write "Hey Jude", a pro-genocidal song. Everyone loves it.
  • 1992 - While not really genocide related, Rodney King is found not guilty of beating two white policemen.
  • 1994 - The Rwandan Genocide begins. Tutsis and Tootsie Rolls alike are mass exterminated.
  • 2005 - In a World of Warcraft incident, several mages performed an online funeral for their friend who died IRL. During the ceremony, they were interrupted and all killed by a ruthless clan in a genocide-style extermination.
  • 2022 - The Americans decide to conquer and exterminate their not-so-friendly neighbours to the North, the Canadians.
  • 2023 - Two trains collide and kill 30022475656732992 people

Today's featured picture

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Wind turbines emitting harmless, zero-carbon steam as part of their normal operating process.

Image Credit: Lantash
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