Main Page
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Featured this day in history
 When your sandstorm works as intended the whole neighborhood should take on the appearance of this Cairo parking lot. Anytime you want to create a sandstorm, it should be a fairly easy process. Don't let anyone tell you that it's too complicated or not worth the time or trouble. You'll see.
Why create a sandstorm?
A sandstorm comes in right handy when you think the environment needs a little kick in the pants. Mother Nature has a way of keeping her ecology in order, and has carefully regulated topsoil production for hundreds of millions of years. Things grow, then either die or shed their leaves, and the bacteria, worms, and other denizens of the deep have one field day after another. They mull about, chewing and spitting and shitting and pissing, building up the soil for their offspring to enjoy for the next million years or so. Why disrupt this cycle? Why not! Think about it. According to the holy Sauce, you are a special creature and have been given dominion over the earth by Noodly almighty Himself. Who are you to look a gift horse in the mouth? The earth is yours my friend, Jesus and his pa gave it to you, and you might as well have some fun with it while there's some of it left. And what better way to put on a show than to create a sandstorm.
|
Did you know...
|
-
- ...that in late 2001, President Bush declared total war on Planet Earth and all nation states and ecosystems harboring life?
- ... that the back of your back is your chest?
- ...that this section, though actually named Did You Know?, which attempts to give you factoids and tidbits about things you may or may not have been aware of, or known, is actually, by curious subliminal messaging wherein the sublime mind is taken and twisted to the will of the creator of the aforementioned section, advertising articles for you to read?
|
|
In the news
|
|
|
On this day...
|
|
|
|
Writer, Noob, and Uncyclopedian of the Month
|
|
So, you know that guy who hangs around on the website and cleans stuff up, maintains templates and all that shizz? no? me neither... anyway, apparently there was a gaping chasm of quality authorship last month which resulted in him being nominated for and subsequently winning this award. No doubt you, dear reader of this short and pithy paragraph could do far better, and thus we encourage you to register, make a few offensive jokes here and there and you too can become a proud winner of this now thoroughly debased and devalued award. What was once a highly prized and sought after recognition of achievement has now become little more than something obtained as easily as a shitty plastic toy in a Kinder Egg that you have to self-assemble and doesn't even work after your 5th try because a small but crucial piece broke off when the sticker designed to hold it together unfortunately ripped.
But once again, Well Done ChiefjusticeDS!
|
|
HauntedUndies is a rare specimen, here at Uncyclopedia, the sort of which we are all quite proud to call our own. Yes, that's it - he's one of our Noobs of the Month, who earn that prestigious title by sticking around and annoying the hell out of everyone so they notice them. HauntedUndies is particularly good at this, however, beyond the average noob, which is why we are proud to present him with this specially-weighted-down trophy covered in superglue! So maybe it'll slow him down so he'll get out of our hair. Literally. Poop jokes are bad enough when they remain in the articles.
So here is your trophy, HauntedUndies; do keep up the enthusiasm. If you can lift it.
|
|
Frosty has been trying to establish a record. The record for most times nominated for UotM without winning it. This month, however, to his very dismay, he actually won UotM, beating Lyrithya by a huge margin I can't be bothered to check right now. Clearly she didn't deserve to win as she vandalized the featured article segment of our main page just a little bit earlier today. What was I talking about? Oh right, Frosty. Why did he win this award? Well, he usually reverts vandalism, invalidates ineligible noms on award pages and occasionally writes articles. He also has one of the most annoying userpages, so feel free not to click that link at the start of this paragraph. And to end this on a less coldhearted note, all hail Frosty!
|
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
|
Uncyclopedia's sista projects
|
Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects.
|
|
UnNews
The news source on crack
|
|
Uncyclopedia
The content-free encyclopedia
|
|
Undictionary
The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid
|
|
|
UnTunes
Where noisy things can live and prosper
|
|
Wilde Project
Uncyclopedia's founder tells all
|
|
HowTo
Instructions and guides for anything and everything
|
|
|
UnBooks
Content-free books
|
|
Unquotable
Useless misquotes galore
|
|
Uncycloversity
If it makes sense, we don't want it
|
|
|
UnPoetia
Poetry for people who hate poetry
|
Error: image is invalid or non-existent
|
UnAnswers
Answering questions...differently
|
|
Why?
Don't make me explain it to you twice
|
|
|
UnScripts
We can ruin stage and film too
|
Error: image is invalid or non-existent
|
UnReviews
We'll tell you why things suck
|
|
UnBestiary
Bestiality galore
|
|
Uncyclopedia Languages
|
| This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 41,485 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:
be-x-old:
|
Protected by the Fair Use Clause, and an elite clan of Clinjas.
 Featured Article
|
Featured version: 1 April 2008
|
This article has been featured on the front page. — You can vote for or nominate your favourite articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.
|
Template:FA/1 April 2008Template:FA/2008
