Featured this day in history
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Did you know...
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- ...that Uncyclopedia is riddled with subliminal messages? DRINK COCA COLA
- ... that Nostradamus was regarded as one of the best prophecy writers of the 13th century, penning the bestsellers The Da Vinci Code and 1984 which both won Ivor Novello Awards for their lyrical content? Most prophets of his generation were stoned, but he was more unconventional, preferring to inject marmite.
- ...that the "About Vassar" page from the Vassar College website lists 34 different statistics? 24 of them are absolute values and roughly 32% are either ratios or percentages.
- ...that, according to Aesop, a tortoise and a hare agreed to race? The hare took off at a tremendous pace, but lay down to sleep on the way. The slow but steady tortoise thus emerged victorious. Moral: Tortoises frequently carry rohypnol. Never leave your drink unattended when tortoises are about.
- ...that flipping the finger is a valid solution to the travelling salesman problem?
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In the news
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On this day...
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May 19: Do What You Were Supposed To Do On May 18th Day (Procrastinators)
- A long, long time ago - Jedi Purge Day
- 3141 BC - The world is invented, no-one notices.
- pi - Someone decides that really long numbers are cool but hard to write down.
- 1897 - "No longer is there such a thing as an imprisoned Oscar Wilde." -Oscar Wilde
- 1922 - The United States quota on immigration is repealed after Congress unanimously votes to force everyone on Earth to live in the United States.
- 1964 - JFK/manwhore was assassinated in a Ford
- 1971 - The Soviet Union's space program releases Mars 2, the sequel to the hit planet Mars. Due to budget cutbacks, Mars 2 has four holes in its center, and appears to be two dimensional.
- 1997 - Chunnel declares civil war, dividing into North Chunnel and South Chunnel.
- 1999 - Jar Jar Binks's lead role in the movie Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace earns him much popularity.
- 2005 - Attempting to stay in business, the free encyclopedia Wikipedia sells advertisements using a bizarre method: for one hundred dollars, you can have every noun in any one sentence replaced with your product's name permanently.
- 2005 - Later that Pepsi-Cola: Attempting to parody Pepsi-Cola, the free Pepsi-Cola Pepsi-Cola sells Pepsi-Colas using a bizarre Pepsi-Cola: for one hundred Pepsi-Colas, Pepsi-Cola can have every Pepsi-Cola in any one Pepsi-Cola replaced with your Pepsi-Cola's Pepsi-Cola permanently.
- 2019 - Uncyclopedia suddenly doesn't suck
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Writer, Noob, and Uncyclopedian of the Month
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So, you know that guy who hangs around on the website and cleans stuff up, maintains templates and all that shizz? no? me neither... anyway, apparently there was a gaping chasm of quality authorship last month which resulted in him being nominated for and subsequently winning this award. No doubt you, dear reader of this short and pithy paragraph could do far better, and thus we encourage you to register, make a few offensive jokes here and there and you too can become a proud winner of this now thoroughly debased and devalued award. What was once a highly prized and sought after recognition of achievement has now become little more than something obtained as easily as a shitty plastic toy in a Kinder Egg that you have to self-assemble and doesn't even work after your 5th try because a small but crucial piece broke off when the sticker designed to hold it together unfortunately ripped.
But once again, Well Done ChiefjusticeDS!
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HauntedUndies is a rare specimen, here at Uncyclopedia, the sort of which we are all quite proud to call our own. Yes, that's it - he's one of our Noobs of the Month, who earn that prestigious title by sticking around and annoying the hell out of everyone so they notice them. HauntedUndies is particularly good at this, however, beyond the average noob, which is why we are proud to present him with this specially-weighted-down trophy covered in superglue! So maybe it'll slow him down so he'll get out of our hair. Literally. Poop jokes are bad enough when they remain in the articles.
So here is your trophy, HauntedUndies; do keep up the enthusiasm. If you can lift it.
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Frosty has been trying to establish a record. The record for most times nominated for UotM without winning it. This month, however, to his very dismay, he actually won UotM, beating Lyrithya by a huge margin I can't be bothered to check right now. Clearly she didn't deserve to win as she vandalized the featured article segment of our main page just a little bit earlier today. What was I talking about? Oh right, Frosty. Why did he win this award? Well, he usually reverts vandalism, invalidates ineligible noms on award pages and occasionally writes articles. He also has one of the most annoying userpages, so feel free not to click that link at the start of this paragraph. And to end this on a less coldhearted note, all hail Frosty!
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Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
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Uncyclopedia's sista projects
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Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects.
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UnNews
The news source on crack
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Uncyclopedia
The content-free encyclopedia
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Undictionary
The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid
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UnTunes
Where noisy things can live and prosper
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Wilde Project
Uncyclopedia's founder tells all
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HowTo
Instructions and guides for anything and everything
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UnBooks
Content-free books
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Unquotable
Useless misquotes galore
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Uncycloversity
If it makes sense, we don't want it
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UnPoetia
Poetry for people who hate poetry
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Error: image is invalid or non-existent
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UnAnswers
Answering questions...differently
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Why?
Don't make me explain it to you twice
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UnScripts
We can ruin stage and film too
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Error: image is invalid or non-existent
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UnReviews
We'll tell you why things suck
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UnBestiary
Bestiality galore
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Uncyclopedia Languages
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| This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 41,484 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:
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