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Yesterday's Featured Article -

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured.png UnNews:Five cut out and keep comments for your social media life, featured on 21 July 2015. See the featured version.
Why?:Have an alienating music taste, featured on 21 July 2013. See the featured version.
A pizza a day keeps the doctor away, featured on 21 July 2011. See the featured version.
Dear Mr. Hornet, featured on 21 July 2010. See the featured version.
UnBooks:The Nearly-Chaste Mormon's Guide to Quitting Masturbation, featured on 21 July 2009. See the featured version.

Did you know...

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  • ...that "crack" is the hood's most effective diet pill? (pictured)
  • ...that the universe is made up of protons, electrons, neutrons... and morons?
  • ...that in 2001 George W. Bush passed the No Child Left Behind Act, which forbids soldiers in Iraq from leaving their children behind?
  • ...that packets of silica gel that say "DO NOT EAT" on them are actually delicious?
  • ...that within a few weeks of being held in captivity dolphins are able to train humans to stand at the side of a pool and throw them fish?
  • ...that many diseases can be prevented by washing hands before eating, after eating, during eating, and another couple of times just in case?
  • ...that this statement is not not not not not not not not not not not possibly confusing to no one somewhere right now?

In the news

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On this day...

July 21: National Fight Day (UK), Belgium Awareness Day
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  • 1066 - Fight Day established by humans; "You do not talk about Fight Day," proclaims the King, shortly before being impaled on a sword by Normans.
  • 1298 - Battle of Falskirt: Edward Longlegs defeats Mel Gibson's Scottish hooligans in a poker game.
  • 1949 - The United States ratifies the North Atlantic Treaty, officially enacting a truce with the hostile North Atlantic Ocean that would be honored until sea otters invade Boston in 1977.
  • 1958 - The elusive and mysterious pond whale (pictured) is first described in scientific literature.
  • 1977 - Sea otters invade Boston.
  • 2006 - The first in a wildly successful series of prison journals is published on Uncyclopedia.
  • 2007 - "Celebrating Fight Day may increase your risk of getting into a fight" says a statistitian after completing a 30-year research program.

Today's featured picture

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St. Michael the Archangel attempts to slay Charles Darwin to prevent him from revealing Michael's horrible secret. Darwin, belonging to the fitter of the species, survived.

Image Credit: Isra1337
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