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Today's Featured Article -
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Yesterday's Featured Article -
Featured today, a long long time ago
|| HowTo:Leave Uncyclopedia as Dramatically as Possible, featured on 23 April 2013. See the featured version.|
India, featured on 23 April 2012. See the featured version.
Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying, Sit Down and Relax for a Bit, Try and Read or Something, Maybe Eat a Cheese Sandwich, and Basically Do Anything Other Than Obsessively Think About Being Obliterated in a Massive Nuclear Explosion, featured on 23 April 2011. See the featured version.
UnBooks:Evelyn, the Modified Dog, featured on 23 April 2010. See the featured version.
Hydrogen, featured on 23 April 2009. See the featured version.
Threads Of Our Existence: Excerpts From the Secret Writing Journal Of F. Scott Fitzgerald, featured on 23 April 2008. See the featured version.
Homeless nerds, featured on 23 April 2007. See the featured version.
Did you know...
- ...that Christmas was cancelled in 1984 after an unfortunate accident between Santa and a Boeing 747? (pictured)
- ...that originally, Hell was an acronym for "Happiness, Euphoria, and Lively Laughter?"
- ...that 69% percent of statistics contain sexual innuendo?
- ...that if Abraham Lincoln was alive today, he would be clawing desperately at the lid of his coffin and screaming for help?
- ...that there are at least three other businesses like show business?
- ...that the average human male between the ages of 13 and 18 is has thought about sex with Brad Pitt at least once?
- ...and if you haven't before you just did after reading the above statement.
In the news
- Life as orphans better than life in America says Russia.
On this day...
| |April 23: Bring Your Penis To Work Day
- 303 - St. George takes his penis to beat the dragon with. Dragon turns out to be into that kinda stuff.
- 1179 - Richard the Lionhearted attempts to engage King Philip of France in a penis sword fight; "Homo you don't!" replies Philip.
- 1538 - Truce of Nice: Emperor Charles V and Francis I of France agree that the terms foreskin and prepuce are interchangeable.
- 1562 - Elizabeth I vows not to take a penis to work, or her bed chamber.
- 1875 - Queen Victoria outlaws the word penis; decrees henceforth the organ shall be known as "Naughty Mr. Johnson".
- 1905 - The Royal Society compare penis sizes. Von Lynchenstein had the largest penis.
- 1909 - Czarina Alexandra beholds Rasputin's penis and won't let go.
- 1932 - California gets filled with the world's stockpile of penises.
- 1941 - Lead singer from Lordi enters a beauty contest against a penis. Penis wins.
- 1953 - Queen Elizabeth II announces that she shall confer upon the penis the title of Sir.
- 1967 - Bono is voted the "World's Biggest Penis".
- 1968 - Flower Power is replaced by Wind Power, and all the petals are blown away.
- 1971 - Penis arrives in the Castro.
- 1975 - President Gerald Ford announces that the Vietnam War is over, after an unfortunate misunderstanding over the soldiers running around with their penises in their hands.
- 1993 - Bill Clinton becomes the first USA president since JFK to bring his penis to the white house.
- 2005 - The B-lizard's penis freezes and falls off. Adventure Quest voted the best game ever made by stoners.
- 2008 - Your mom forgets to pack your penis in your lunchbox. You get teased the rest of the day.
- 2009 - Tiger Woods brings his penis all over the place, including a Perkins Restaurant.
- 2010 - The Wizard of Oz Movie is released in cinemas to general critical acclaim. Most people like the new twist ending where Toto is revealed as the Evil One.
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