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Did you know...

...that this article or section does not adequately cite its references or sources?
...and that you can improve this article by adding citations to reliable sources? (help, get involved, you pussy!)
This article has been tagged; now it's "it".
  • ...the last one is "acceptance".
  • ...that the first use of "LOL" is in Shakespeare's play, As You Like It, and that the first use of "OMG" may be found in Macbeth?
  • ...that it is important to tune your Air Guitar constantly, as any dust particles that stick to the complicated arrangement of air will completely deform it?
  • ...that narcolepsy can strike at any ttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt
  • ...that each 00 number represents a license to do something nasty? In the case of 007, it's a license to kill. For 001, it's a license to bite someone's ankle.

In the news

Halloween 3D 2010.jpg
  • Trig mourns grandmommy's loss
  • Altria achieves revenge on Reader's Digest
  • Marriot says, "The slut begged for it"

On this day...

Nice to meet you Sophia, my name is Randy

November 20: Sophia Day, and day of the Christophe Rookesh

  • 500 BC - Greeks invent philosophy(filos=love, Sophia)
  • 479 BC - Sophia invents boobs , millions stare.
  • 284 - Dodecahedron becomes Roman Emperor.
  • 403 - The Hagia Sophia completed in Constantinople. Her majestic domes are just huge.
  • 1453 - Turks capture Constantinople and rename it Is Stan Bull, adding minarets as phallic symbols around the Hagia Sophia.
  • 1910 - Mexican Revolution begins. Mexicans get some Madero and Porfirio Díaz is not amused at all.
  • 1910 - (about 1 o'clock PM): Siesta in Mexico. Revolution postponed.
  • 1917 - World War I: Battle of Cambrai begins - The Allies make surprise attack on the German Trenches while the Soldiers are transfixed on Sophia's Invention.
  • 1950 - Sofia Loren enters puberty. The Acme Hand Lotion Company sees its stock quadruple almost overnight.
  • 1958 - Sofia films 'Boy On A Dolphin'. Years later, Michael Jackson will purchase rights for the remake.
  • 1988 - Pac-Man and Ms. Pac-Man wed
  • 1996 - Chris rook declares war on England
  • 2004 - Hughesy flashes, Invention of the whirly-copter and alternative contraception.
  • 2028 - After 40 years of marriage, Pac-Man tragically dies whilst at work, Ms Pac-Man disbands the Pac-Man series of games. Forum riots ensue.
  • 3000 - George and Conrad begin the Russian revolution.
  • 3000 - Russian revolution postponed due to Conrad sciving due to injections (the UN-Pain)
  • 3000 - Owner of Sainsbury's Aaron Dean declares war on Russia and Tesco's
  • 3000 - Chris Rook defends Russia by declaring war on himself.
  • 10000 - Pie is made illegal in communist Russian-America
  • 10001 - Lankiness is made illegal world wide.
Colonization of the Week
For the glory of her majesty
Help us clear the ivy of crap,
and plant the seeds of humour.

Today's featured picture

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Proof that the Tao of Pooh isn't something to be overlooked...

Image Credit: RadicalX
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Recent Articles

Freshies | The O'Reilly Factor, Tuesday May 13, 1865‎ | Diary (rw) | UnBooks:Swamp Adventure Amusement Park Ride Announcer Man: An Autobiography | Mega Blast | HowTo:Get Nigger-Blood Out Of White Robes | Cluedo Columbine edition | Psyche | Worst 100 LOL Cats | Red Bull | Animal fucking | HowTo:Explain fist-fucking to your children | Footnote | Mr Blotto | The Big Participatory Article | James Carville (rw, sort of) | A perfect article | Test Match Special | Real Deal | Cute Fluffy-Bunny World Whose Cute Fluffy Exterior Masks a Terrible Secret | Chutes and Ladders | Guide to a Postmodernist Art Exhibition | Six Hats | Kosher Nostra | Wikia Inc. Corp. Ltd. | UnBooks:Jonathan Livingston Chicken | Sergio Leone


More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about... | Stuck articles needing a push | Great ideas

Writer and Noob of the Month

Wotm.jpg

Some generic night in some generic town. A generic storm is howling down generic streets. A generic person wakes up frightfully, staring down a hooded figure holding a scythe, which does not look generic at all.

You...you...you...are...the Grim Reaper? mumbles the frightened generic person Have you come for my soul?

Not at all, my dear fellow a wicked smiles forms inside the hood although it's a common mistake.

I am, in fact, a Brothel Keeper, but my friends call me Necropaxx.

The hooded figure winks its red eyes as it waves around what seems to be, under close inspection, a squeaky rubber scythe. Yes yes, I run a nice whorehouse for hippies down the road. Also, I make cheese. Sometime I put the cheese in the toaster. Sometimes I put my customers in the toaster. Oops, did I say that out loud?

The hooded figure leans more closely towards the generically frightened person, peering at him intently.

I believe you will do nicely with a nice glass of Bordeaux. Yes my dear fellow. I did not come for your soul, I came for your body. Medium rare.


Noobaward.jpg

"Ladies and gentlemen, we shall now commence our countdown sequence. Launch sequence initiated in ten...nine...eight...seven..." (countdown is abruptly stopped as some hysterical screams can be heard in the background)

"Jesus H. Christ! What IS that thing!"

"It...it...it looks like a turd...but like a...like a...500 ft tall turd! IT'S THE 500 FT TALL TURD MONSTER!!"

"Wait, what is that thing it's pushing just ahead of it?"

"It looks like...it looks like a coal wheelbarrow?"

"And what the hell is pinned to its vile back?!"

"Seems like a sign...?"

"What does it say?!"

"Going to Newcastle. Please walk the dog."


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