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Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured.png UnNews:Obama to outline IS strategy after consulting Stonehenge gods, featured on 24 September 2014. See the featured version.
Syria, featured on 24 September 2012. See the featured version.
Unfomercials:Bulimic Barbee, featured on 24 September 2010. See the featured version.
UnMysteries:The Mysterious Affair at the World War Two Convention, featured on 24 September 2009. See the featured version.

Did you know...

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  • ...that grave robbing accounts for 1/3 of the average Romanian yearly income? (pictured)
  • ...that the process of dying and coming back to life as a cow is known as reincownation?
  • ...that the amount of cats in the area is directly proportionate to the distance from the Hot Dog factory?
  • ...that Martin Van Buren is a total dick and nobody likes him?
  • ...that your birth certificate is an apology letter from condom factory?
  • ...that Martin Van Buren is a total dick and nobody likes him?
  • ...that the Japanese have a saying: "A man cannot read the same Wikipedia page twice"? The pages are constantly being edited, and the act of reading it will make you a different person. Therefore, when a man goes back to re-read it, both the text and the man have been changed.

In the news

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On this day...

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September 24: Mudkip Appreciation Day

  • 3000 BC - Greek philosopher Atheises founds the Order of Dyslexic Atheists and declares as its motto "Thert isi thaer no doG!"
  • 1541 - Paracelsus, Swiss alchemist, passes away after being drained by a bitter rivalry with the alchemist Parafahrenheit.
  • 1789 - United States History: the position of Attorney General is established, to act as general over the army of attorneys raised during the Revolutionary War.
  • 1906 - U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt proclaims Devils Tower the nation's first National Monument after obsessively sculpting the rock formation in mashed potatoes.
  • 1939 - Adolf Hitler gets into a hedge dispute with his Polish neighbour.
  • 1944 - France is liberated by the allied forces. Riots ensue.
  • 1960 - Chuck Norris hires a Vietnamese plumber. Vietnam is still recovering.
  • 1991 - Jesus found alive and well in a Manchester crackhouse
  • 1993 - Karl Marx personal diaries discovered, Marxism apparently was just a wind up to bug the Americans.
  • 2003 - George Bush declares war on Legoland
  • 2007 - The last day of Adventalo, the gathering of millions of nerds awaiting the coming of the chiefus christ
  • 2008 - War Veteran, Big Bird committed suicide after receiving hate mail for accidentally sinking china when he flushed the toilet
  • 2009 - All 8 followers of the new found religion Walmartism are sentenced to death after reports of attacks on rivalry gangs The "Food Lion Elite"
  • 2010 - United States of America takes over Japan Renaming it Coca Cola
  • 2022 - Michael Jackson sues himself for sexual assault and wins. He celebrates by sexually assaulting himself again.
  • 2342 - Somebody gets fired on their birthday from school.
  • 2351 - Walmart declares war on Islam. Millions die.

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