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Today's Featured Article -
Recently featured: Extension:DynamicPageList (DPL), version 1.9.0 : Warning: No results. Yesterday's Featured Article -
Featured today, a long long time ago
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HowTo:Leave Uncyclopedia as Dramatically as Possible, featured on 23 April 2013. See the featured version.
India, featured on 23 April 2012. See the featured version.
Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying, Sit Down and Relax for a Bit, Try and Read or Something, Maybe Eat a Cheese Sandwich, and Basically Do Anything Other Than Obsessively Think About Being Obliterated in a Massive Nuclear Explosion, featured on 23 April 2011. See the featured version.
UnBooks:Evelyn, the Modified Dog, featured on 23 April 2010. See the featured version.
Hydrogen, featured on 23 April 2009. See the featured version.
Threads Of Our Existence: Excerpts From the Secret Writing Journal Of F. Scott Fitzgerald, featured on 23 April 2008. See the featured version.
Homeless nerds, featured on 23 April 2007. See the featured version.
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Did you know...
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- ...that Christmas was cancelled in 1984 after an unfortunate accident between Santa and a Boeing 747? (pictured)
- ...that originally, Hell was an acronym for "Happiness, Euphoria, and Lively Laughter?"
- ...that 69% percent of statistics contain sexual innuendo?
- ...that if Abraham Lincoln was alive today, he would be clawing desperately at the lid of his coffin and screaming for help?
- ...that there are at least three other businesses like show business?
- ...that the average human male between the ages of 13 and 18 is has thought about sex with Brad Pitt at least once?
- ...and if you haven't before you just did after reading the above statement.
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In the news
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- Life as orphans better than life in America says Russia.
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On this day...
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April 23: Bring Your Penis To Work Day
- 303 - St. George takes his penis to beat the dragon with. Dragon turns out to be into that kinda stuff.
- 1179 - Richard the Lionhearted attempts to engage King Philip of France in a penis sword fight; "Homo you don't!" replies Philip.
- 1538 - Truce of Nice: Emperor Charles V and Francis I of France agree that the terms foreskin and prepuce are interchangeable.
- 1562 - Elizabeth I vows not to take a penis to work, or her bed chamber.
- 1875 - Queen Victoria outlaws the word penis; decrees henceforth the organ shall be known as "Naughty Mr. Johnson".
- 1905 - The Royal Society compare penis sizes. Von Lynchenstein had the largest penis.
- 1909 - Czarina Alexandra beholds Rasputin's penis and won't let go.
- 1932 - California gets filled with the world's stockpile of penises.
- 1941 - Lead singer from Lordi enters a beauty contest against a penis. Penis wins.
- 1953 - Queen Elizabeth II announces that she shall confer upon the penis the title of Sir.
- 1967 - Bono is voted the "World's Biggest Penis".
- 1968 - Flower Power is replaced by Wind Power, and all the petals are blown away.
- 1971 - Penis arrives in the Castro.
- 1975 - President Gerald Ford announces that the Vietnam War is over, after an unfortunate misunderstanding over the soldiers running around with their penises in their hands.
- 1993 - Bill Clinton becomes the first USA president since JFK to bring his penis to the white house.
- 2005 - The B-lizard's penis freezes and falls off. Adventure Quest voted the best game ever made by stoners.
- 2008 - Your mom forgets to pack your penis in your lunchbox. You get teased the rest of the day.
- 2009 - Tiger Woods brings his penis all over the place, including a Perkins Restaurant.
- 2010 - The Wizard of Oz Movie is released in cinemas to general critical acclaim. Most people like the new twist ending where Toto is revealed as the Evil One.
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