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Yesterday's Featured Article -

Featured today, a long long time ago

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Did you know...

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  • ...that black people make otherwise boring sports more enjoyable to watch? (pictured)
  • ...that Thomas Edison was arrested on charges of pornography following the release of his short film, Woman Whose Ankle is Partly Visible?
  • ...that really fat people cannot wash themselves but must avail of car washes late at night?
  • ...taht wrods and snetnces are raedalbe eevn wehn tehy are toatlly fckued up?
  • ...that there's more to the 9/11 attacks than the conspiracy theorists would have you believe?
  • ...that, because of Anonymous' credibility, he has become a frequent source of information for news articles?
  • ...that Witch-Hunting For Fun and Profit has mostly turned into Witch-Hunting For Fun in this modern era of cheaply produced Chinese assembly line witches?

In the news

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  • Life as orphans better than life in America says Russia.

On this day...

March 5: Festival of Violent Spasms (Turkey)
  • 1337 - You are alive.
  • 1914 - Preparations to the wildest party known to mankind are well on their way
  • 1947 - The wildest party known to mankind begins today. Death tolls are still rising.
  • 1991 - Emperor George Bush Sr. takes over all of the Americas, except Hawaii.
  • 1999 - Party almost stops over fear of the Y2K Bug. Then someone gets a fly swatter. Party continues.
  • 2006 - Party nearly ends. Bird Flu epidemic. Ends with Bird Flu being deported to Britain and the death of Big Bird. Party Continues.
  • 2008 - Ten years after aliens from outer space destroyed a significant portion of the United States, including cities such as New York City and Washington, D.C., the world is still recovering from the damage. World leaders are still shaking hands, albeit carefully, and actor Will Smith has vowed to "kick E.T.'s ass" should Earth ever be invaded again.
  • 5997 - End of the World. Turks Party in Heaven, with Allah and Jesus
  • 6666 - In Soviet Russia, Turkey Party's YOU!!

Today's featured picture

Lincoln laptop.jpg

And so it was that Abraham Lincoln was shot, killed by an actor for sending those stupid 'Joke of the Day' E-mails to Jefferson Davis.

Image Credit: Silius
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