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Today's Featured Article - Ceiling Cat

Recently featured:

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Featured today, a long long time ago

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UnNews:Canadian women must now wear horns, featured on 18 November 2013. See the featured version.
UnRecipe:Crunchy Beaver with Pine Gum Coulis, featured on 18 November 2012. See the featured version.
Glenn Beck, featured on 18 November 2010. See the featured version.

Did you know...

  • ...that you are likely to be eaten by a Grue?
  • ...that if you die in Canada, you die in real life?
  • ...that

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should be used sparingly?

  • ...that it takes a great amount of sexual commitment to get a computer turned on, but once your computer is properly aroused, it can offer you some of the greatest sexual thrills you may ever experience?

In the news

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On this day...

Prior to the famous apple-shooting incident, William Tell actually had thirteen other children.

November 18: Constantly Hum the William Tell Overture Day, World Kool-Aid Day

  • 1307 - William Tell (pictured) shoots an apple off his son's head. What they don't tell in the history books is that before this day, Tell had thirteen other children.
  • 1626 - Due to an unfortunate typo, St. Peter's Basilica is accidentally desecrated instead of consecrated.
  • 1786 - The year 1786 gets lost in history
  • 1794 - The year 1786 is found again. Rioting ensues.
  • 1928 - Release of the animated short Steamboat Willie, directed by Walt Disney. The copyright on this film is expected to expire when the sun exhausts its hydrogen and enters a red giant phase, or perhaps somewhat afterwards.
  • 1972 - Angela Griffith is the first woman to ingest five times her weight in broccoli. Tragically she died after the resultant flatulance blew her to bits. A statue was probably erected in her memory, somewhere or other.
  • 1978 - Jonestown incident: In Guyana, Jim Jones leads his Peoples Temple cult in a mass murder-suicide that claims 918 lives, leading Kool-Aid to revoke their sponsorship of Jones.
  • 2001 - The Nintendo GameCube was released. It sells considerably better than the Nintendo Hypercube, which requires users to push buttons in four dimensions.
  • 2009 - Spongebob Square pants attempts to try on round pants. The resulting wedgie places him in a 2 month long coma.
Colonization of the Week
For the glory of her majesty
Help us clear the ivy of crap,
and plant the seeds of humour.

Today's featured picture

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Writer and Noob of the Month

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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


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Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


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It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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