Mainer
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The language of Mainer (more commonly know as "Mainah") originates in the far northern regions of the state of Maine. In the ancient land, Mainer has been spoken since long before the Pilgrims introduced English to North America. It has since been re-adopted as the official language of the Maine Soviet Socialist Republic (see "Maine"), though its popularity among Mainiacs experienced little decline during the state's two-hundred or so years as a member state of the United States of America.
Known as the Vacationland, Maine has always attracted a steady stream of tourists, year-round. These outsiders, unfamiliar with the language of Mainer, often experience serious difficulty in activities where the language gap must be bridged, such as finding campsites and purchasing lobster. This guide will help you, the tourist, to understand and communicate with the locals.
[edit] Speaking the Language
The key is to relax your jaw. Say "Mainer." Notice the tension in your jaw and how it opens only slightly. Now say "Mainah," letting your lower jaw drop on the "ah" paht (er, I mean "part"). Practice saying it in an exaggerated manner to get the feel. Now you're ready for the rules of Mainespeak.
1) Words that end in "r" are pronounced "ah." Mainer = Mainah. Car = Cah. Mother and Father = Muthah and Fathah. Water = Watah. You get the drift.
2) Conversely, words that end in "a" are sometimes, but not always, pronounced "er." California becomes Californier. Idea becomes idear. Yoga becomes Yoger.
3) Drop the "g" in "ing." Stopping and starting = stoppin' and startin', or more correctly, stoppin' and stahtin'.
4) Broaden a and e sounds. Calf becomes cahf. Bath becomes bahth. Can't becomes cahn't.
5) Drag out some one-syllable words into two syllables. There becomes they-uh. Here becomes hee-ah.
[edit] Commonly Used Phrases
Getting the accent down is not all there is to speaking like a Mainah. You also need to learn some Maine lingo. Try these phrases when conversing with the natives.
Apiece: An undetermined distance: He lives down the road apiece.
Ayuh: Yup. Sure. Okay. That's right. You Bet.
Bug: Lobster
Cah: A four wheel vehicle, not a truck.
Chowdah: Chowder
Cunnin': Cute
Dubbah': Jerk
From Away: Not from Maine
Gawmy: Awkward or clumsy
Numb: Dumb. Stupid.
Pot: Lobster trap
Prayer Handle: Knee
Quahog: Thick-shelled clam (pronounced co-hog)
Scrid: A tiny piece
Steamahs: Clams
Wicked: Very. To a high degree, such as wicked good, wicked bad, wicked exciting, wicked retahded, etc.
