Man's Prayer
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[edit] Disclaimer
The Following Article is lackluster. It needs to be expanded. I fully intend upon attempting this. I will complete this task sometime after organizing my sock drawer, but before the return of Lord Arthexis. Also, it is completely true, making it uncharacteristic of the usual jovial nonsense and bullshit we tend to go for here at Uncyclopedia. You have been warned.
The Following Article is Overwhelmingly True. You literally can not comprehend the significance of this shit here. If you don't read it, I swear I will totally fucking stab you in the face with a rusty shrimpfork.
[edit] Origin of the Prayer
The prayer was crafted in the olden days of yore, whence the power of duct tape was still being forged and realized, the world was young, and Arthurian Knights roamed hither and yon o'er the land, finding damsels in distress, and undressing them, often savagely, for their own lustful wants.
Yea tho' it is told that one stood up 'gainst the ways of the misguided world, sayingst "Lo, Here is the Duct Tape! It is good, and it shall bind all things unbound"
[edit] The Significance of the Prayer
An article of faith such as the Man's Prayer cannot be casually dismissed. Within it's 12 syllables are contained the essence of all which propels the universe back into the the state of unmitigated, abject chaos from whence it came. Indeed, few writings, musings, philosophies, or works of art have shaped our world in such a way. It's reach is profound, it's meaning incontrovertible, it's truth stabs at the heart of nature, as though with a rusty blood-engorged chainsaw of truth and massacre.
The Man's Prayer Has guided us from the beginning, e'en 'afore it's realization and statement by his greatness Red Green. It represents such fundamental truth that we might ignore it, or overlook it's meaning. Just as the air is always around us to breathe, (except for when we are drowning, of course... I mean hell, there isn't very bloody much air in the ocean is there) it's existence seems so obvious that it is overlooked, taken for granted, and exists only on a very subconscious level, and goes unseen to the unwashed masses. We know it to be truth however, and never has it steered us Wrong.
The Prayer is truth, it is honesty, it is all your soul laid bare to the world to see, and it sets you free upon it's utterance. Behold, the power of the Man's Prayer
[edit] The Man's Prayer
(revealed at last to the masses)
I am a Man, but I can change. If I have to... I guess.
[edit] Known Believers in The Prayer
- Grantoc
- John Travolta
- Oscar Wilde
- That smelly fucking hippy who lives down the street from you named Phil.
- Squarebob Spongepants
- Lance Falcon
