Manele

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Early references of the term appear in Romanian texts from the early 19th century, during the period of Turkish suzerainty over the Romanian principalities. Modern manele originated in the 1980s and early 1990s as underground translations and bastardized imitations of Turkish and Arabic songs. It was being sung by the gypsies on the streets of Ferentari, the most shitty neighbourhood of Bucharest.

Manele is one of the most popular as well as one of the most retarded music genres in Romania today.

Many Romanians hate this type of music and wish it to be banned.

Style[edit]

This is a c/professional point of view:

Manele genre is a very broad(minded) mix of DERIVED styles (not even original ones). Though at its roots you can identify musical linguistic elements of gipsy, oriental and ethnic (Romanian) music, they are heavily modified in a historical laboratory of decadence, lack of culture and education, destructive influence from a dishonest, deceptive and fraudulent society (that the communist regime has left behind).

Moreover, the "new" society which quickly developed unbalanced, without an elite class, based on wild, savage force and corruption, a society adequate for chaos and self-will, nurtured the vulgar people's ignoble, infamous and obscene tastes which led - in music - to an (almost) mass preference for such decadent "music".

The paragraphs above are true. I'm not kidding.

What is its message?

EGO. Themes: Money making; inflicting envy to nearby people; defeating enemies; ruling and leading friends; living as one desires, completely ignorant of the existence of others.

LAMENTATION. Themes: Cheating on wives, lost loves; injustice, inequity from all others, while first person being always righteous.

OBSCENITY. Themes: Lust, sexual desire; abject depicting of women as a "bag" of tits, ass and pussy.(ţâţe,cur şi pizdă)

IMMORALITY. Themes: Drinking; cheating as the most clever way of life (jmekeri); stealing; even using drugs; I won't mention smoking (it's too insignificant); Use of force for any need or disobedience.

FALSE LOVE. Any analysis of this theme will lead to the sexual or interested "love". In the best case, manelic love will last up to the next woman, which will receive a temporarily first, "immortal" place.

How to become a manelist[edit]

  1. Pick a cool name (also known as "bashtanu", or "shmenaru", or "baronu", or "cretinu", or "la platane") (Elvis, Ailenei, Bica Danila, Vali Nebunu' (Crazy Vali), Anelka Balauru' Fermecat (Anelka the Enchanted Dragon), Gigi Fermecătoru' (Gigi The Charming One), Englezu de fier (The Iron Englishman), Chipeşu Moineştiului (The Beauty of Moineşti), Florin Salam (Flowers in Salami), Florinel Fisu' - cu Soia (His Son - with Soy), Ion Fasole (John Beans - not to be confused with Jim Beam), Bibi Macaroană (Bibi Maccaroni), Copilul Minune (Wonder Boy) also called Adiţă Avortu' Merveioz Minune, Barbosu DelaVrancea, Mihai Canal (Mycanalization), Ciupanezu, Danny Merţan (Danny Mercedes), Gigi Oaie (Gigi Sheep), Florin Fermecătorul (Florin the Enchanter), Slick Unsurosu' (Slicky Slick), Efes, Adonis din Carpaţi (Idolu' Femeilor), Titel Vocalistu' Nr. 1, Maria-Dolores de la Satu Mare, Caisa Fermecatorul (Enchanted Apricot), Sandu Ciorbă, Gigi Talent, Gigi Sabie (Gigi Sword), Petre Tate (Petre Tits), Fane Patent (Stevie Tongs), Sile cu Gâtu' de Aur (Sile with the Golden Neck), Ricky de la Ciorogârla, Jean-Balauru' cu vocea-n flăcări (Jean-Dragon with the Voice on Flames), Sorin Necunoscutu (Sorin The Unknown One) Nicuşor Jeleu, Vasile Trotinetă (Vasile Pedal-Scooter), Esmeralda Papuc (The Emerald Slipper), Băiatu de aur (Golden Boy), Leonardo Africanu' (Leonardoafro), Minotaura del Monta, Alexiei Artistu' Nemărginit (Alexiei the Boundless Artist), Izabela de la Focşani, Cerumel Gherasim, Florin Purice (Florin the Cutaneous Parasite), Gabi Şuncă, Guţă Puţă de Maimută, Florin Salam Barbos, Regele Sexului (The King of Sex),Gigi Carnat(Gigi Sausage), Ionel Copilu de Tabla, Alex Mafiotu, Fane Barosanu de la Ploiesti, Liviu Gigalaul, Stefanel Artistu de aur,Lionel de la Craiova, Baby Minune(Baby Wonder),etc) --> to offer just a small contribution of suggestions...
  2. Mandatory lack of culture, and IQ below the sea level.
  3. Must own: limo , castle with lots of little towers and a logo with your name on the roof, faraoanca/campioană (a kind of queen, but more slutty weighting more than 500 pounds) and boraci (puradei, Romanian word for gipsy children/intestinal parasites). Any manelist must be a king or Earl like... Liviu Mare Ban de Corabia (i.e.: Liviu Great Earl of Corabia).
  4. Family in jail, and relatives living under a bridge, in cardboard boxes.
  5. Look
    1. Having inscriptions such as like "De Puta Madre" and not knowing what it means.
    2. If over 35 years wear a big mustache and smile much like famous Vali the Storm (Vali Vijelie) and Nicholas Guţă (Nicolae Guţă).
    3. Jewelry: lots of it , bling , gold necklaces, gold bracelets, gold rings (more than 60% of total body weight)(must weight at least 10 kg), really big gold coins (salbe)
    4. Haircut: 2 parts hair gel, 1 part hair; hair color should be a really cheap blonde or multicolor (all the colors from the rainbow are mandatory); usually the more challenged sexually of the manele addicts adopt a seemingly punk hairstyle by shaving the sides of their heads; however this symptom must NEVER be confused with the punk hairstyle, as in the manelists it's just a cry for help coming from their sexual difficulties ("au pula mica" translated in Romanian); they just want to look like big cocks so they wear a creast; other manelisti with IQs below -50 shave their heads entirely, leaving only a little bit ("un smoc futut" in Romanian) just above their foreheads
    5. Hair Color: black, preferably with strange shapeless plague-like yellow stains
    6. Clothes: flashy and tasteless. Must have black, white or pink shirt, ciocate, cowboy hat, vest or cape and white sox; somewhere on the wardrobe MUST be a flashy inscription citing: "Gigolo Italiano" and a price anywhere between 50$ and 200$ representing the value (valoarea) of the faggot that's wearing it.
    7. Having a voice and style that says : Proud to be gay
    8. Having a "tan" skin is a plus(gypsy style), but sometimes is a minus, because you'll have to turn on your camera's blitz to take them a photo.
    9. It is quite trendy for a "cocalar" or manelar futut şi retardat or cioară împuţită şi analfabetă (endearment of a manelist) to wear white clothes head to toes to stress the colour of his skin, and to damage the retina of the people coming by so they wouldn't see how he throws dirty money at the fiddler's feet performing a ritual in which he repeats the words "fara numar" (without number) extensively

6.Always use cool rhymes like :,,Am parfum de purandeu si miroase a tupeu , ,,Vezi ca itzi dau una de iti sare capatana , etc.

!!!!!!!!!!!! WARNING  !!!!!!!!!!!! If don't not have Indian-Arabian-black apparency and your not a gypsy or gypsy type of guy then your manelist career will be OVER so get a tan really quick and start acting like a total cool guy repeating the "fara numar" expression to your family and all friends.

Lyrics[edit]

  1. mandatory words:chicks ("fetiţe/bagaboante/campioane"),money ("bani/parai/bijtari/lovele") , enemies ("dujmani"/"golani"), women ("femei"/"muieri"/"purisance"), princess ("printesa"), drink ("bautura"), dollars ("euro"/"dolari"/"marci"/"parai"/"bijtari"), gold, millionaire, Mercedes("Mertzan"), cellphone ("celular"), heart, soul, God, life, value ("valoare")
  2. interjections: ooooooooff, ah, sha-la-la, cicalaca-cichicha, hep-hei, hopa-hopa, solooo, hauz' ,fara numar, jaga jagga, parrrrrrrtza etc
  3. no one minds if your songs have:
    1. grammar mistakes
    2. expressions like: "lu' copilu meu", "te duceam la Doi Cocoşi, în picioare aveam galoşi", "aş vrea ca să te regăsesc", "pumnii mei minte nu are", "Îţi dădeam pui la ceaun că să-ţi fac sufletul bun", "copiii vrea să merge la şcoală", "de ce-ai dat cu basca-n câine", " "mi se spune Pentium 4, dar mi s-a ars integratu'" (they call me Pentium 4, but my microchip broke down).
    3. free verses, usually written in 5 minutes while sitting on the closet.
    4. rhymes with the same word ( In Romanian - rime cu acelaşi cuvânt )
    5. extreme metaphors, like "flower of all flowers" (floarea florilor), wallet sucker (sugativă-n portofel)
    6. foreign words (bambina, ragazza, macho, baby, reggaeton etc)
    7. must repeat "offfff doamne" (oh, dear god) otherwise your career is not looking good.
    8. don't forget that the manelist has to receive money permanently, during his performance ("imi vin banii permanent / parca am abonament" - "money comes permanently / like it's subscription based" or "am abonament la bani / si banii la mine" - "i have subscription to money / and money to me"). While receiving money he must also say "fara numar, fara numarrrrr"("without number" or "numberless") (This is the national anthem for manele)
    9. You must say from whom is the current dedication - i.e.: "Aici de la Bancomat şi fratii mei de peste Prut!" which means "This is from ATM and my brothers over the Prut river!"

Topics[edit]

Manele software


  1. Love
    1. Relationships
      1. With more women
      2. Successful
      3. Unsuccessful (see dumping)
      4. Cheating
    2. Dumping
      1. For another person
      2. For money
      3. For both
    3. Death
  2. Family
    1. Children
    2. Wife
    3. Brother (usually congratulating him, song titles like "Fratele Meu", dedicated to your brother are not uncommon)
  3. Money
    1. Having lots of it
    2. Wasting it (on bitches, tzuica and friends)
    3. Being envied
  4. Congratulating yourself (wealth, well-being, sexual performances, sex appeal, amount of women "gagici" )

The song[edit]

  1. Instruments
    1. Accordion (gypsies must have a big smile on their mouth with shining gold teeth inside)
    2. Bad organ
    3. Blowing instruments (big mouth gipsy with thin moustache is a must)
    4. Synthesizer drums - sample sound: ta ran ca tan ta ran ca tan
    5. Acoustic guitar (preferred technique: toe string picking)
    6. Saxophone (only if the song gets meowy - preferred phrases: Haililiii, Hauliuuuu)
    7. Electric violin (white colored mostly)
    8. Any of the above, passed through a flanger.
  2. Voice
    1. Optional
    2. Reverb
    3. Echo
    4. Delay
    5. Must-have foreign accent
    6. Attempts to include rap (always unsuccessfully)
  3. A manea's lead line must be jampacked with as much portamento\vibrato\arpeggios as one can fit. Commonly known as "lalaiala ordinara".
  4. Originality is optional
  5. The song have same rhythm (usually short cut from a success song), any change can make the singer lose it.

Music Video[edit]

  1. Mandatory dance moves (for the manelist)
    1. Strafe Left-right (max 2 steps)
    2. Snapping your fingers
    3. Charming smile with flashy gold teeth
  2. 15 or 20 firecrackers (petarde in Romanian)shaking their fat black hips
  3. Bad or nonexistent setting
  4. Preferable playback singing with toy microphones (in case of live singing, "the Great Artist" must be very drunk)
  5. Bright lights (as colored as they get)
  6. Convertible cars (for the hot-shot to sing in)
  7. Flying money thrown at the manelist retardat (great artist)...repeating the words "fara numar" (without number) at least 1000 times so the people could recite them by heart.
  8. Every music video must be out of sync to the audio, the playback never being acted in relation to the music.
  9. Manelists aren't very picky when it comes to video backgrounds. A short scene of an indie movie or a winamp\Windows Media Player\etc visualization will suffice. One can also opt for the stylish "3D pipes" screensaver or simply a wallpaper made in MS Paint.
  10. The manele music videos are not usually allowed on most Romanian channels but there is a channel called Ţambal TV created by some retarded gypsies to bring them lots of money from people's stupid SMS dedications viewed on screen along with the video - 1 Euro/SMS or 4 Euros/SMS per video choice from the list.
  11. Ţambal TV can be viewed online too, just search on Romanian Google - www.Google.ro for Taraf TV online , this channel being streamed on many sites, even for money on their official site http://www.taraf.tv .



  • A typical Manele singer: View
  • A typical Manele addict likely to enjoy the Manele singer posted above: View