“Manspider is my biggest foe.”
“PHYCH!..He's a little bitch, see what I did there?!?”
“When Spiderman becomes more man than spider, he becomes MANSPIDER.”
“Oh my God! It's a Manspider! It's a spider... and it's a man!”
Manspider is an entirely non-fictional creature that came into existence at London Zoo. Once an ordinary house spider, he was created when a radioactive man came along and bit him, mutating him overnight, giving him common human attributes such as weakness, bed-wetting, bad credit, crying after break-ups, stupidity and being extremely pathetic. He lost all abilities to create webs, climb walls etc, and eventually shrivelled up and died. However, before this tragedy he did many noticeable things, like pissing everyone off, wearing a full body lycra suit that showed off his puny body, and getting repeatedly beaten up by evil villains.
Whilst Manspider gets beaten up by "the bad guys" most of the time, there is one person who is as equally pathetic as him, Spiderman. When these two cross paths, they have heated "Your Mum" battles, and when no clear winner can be seen from this, they proceed to slap each other like a couple of pansies until one of them runs away.
History in Politics
During the last presidential election, Manspider was the main candidate for the little know Spider party. The party was extremely small, consisting entirely of Manspider, Ed the pedophile, and Hugh Jackman. During the election, Manspider received a total of two votes, since Manspider's can not vote.
Connection to Orlando Bloom
.......Orlando Bloom (as it turns out) is the radio active man that bit him. But by radioactivity I mean his flaming homosexuality.