Mark Henry

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search

Mark Henry

[[1]]

Mark Henry is the greatest superstar to ever grace the World Wrestling Entertainment. He has won over audiences worldwide by showcasing his amazing charisma and techincal ability against the finest stars such as Undertaker, Kane and that cunt Dave "Ooops I crapped myself" Batista. Mark has had some amazing accolades including "The Worlds Strongest Nigga" and he is in fact a former European Champion which was a belt that was only given to legends such as Triple H, Shawn Michaels and D'Lo Brown.


Mark Using his Tribal Tongue (Black Speak): http://youtube.com/watch?v=ammwx8lIViQ


The Sexual Years

Mark was given the worst gimmick known to man when he entered the business as a plump 600 pound 15 year old but after working his ass off and gettin down to a lean 500 pounds on the "Nigga's Diet". The gimmick in question was that of a big fat black guy who was doin it with a 90 year old he-she. The memorable moment of this stunning storyline was when the 90 year old gave birth to what was meant to be Marks first child which struck interest throughout the lockerroom as Jesus isn't meant to be back yet but the old hag only gave birth to a hand because Mark had actually killed the Messiah when he saw the head and attempted to "bail" and when that wasn't an option (due to it being Pie Day in the Henry Household (well everyday is pie day, but he loves pie)) he tryed to push "It" back up the hole.


Charity Work

When Mark got over the death of Jesus he decided to do some charity work because in his own words "The food is great" at Charity organisations. The kind of work Mark did has been compared to that of Mother Teresa because he once visited a small terminally ill child because he "wanted his pie".


Back to Fitness

Mark decided he needed to return to the ring because his pie money was running low and he was utterly disappointed at finding out about the pay deal in Charity work. He got back to peak fitness in record time and even starred in a Peter Jackson film at the time (check filmography). He followed in the footsteps of other great superstars to have starred in movies, particularly John Cena who starred in the "blockbuster;" The Marine. This film even lead to Cena using the salute and dog tags which just led to more people calling him a cunt.


The Return of a Legend

His return was built as the biggest thing since, well ever, and this was fully justified as he returned during a steel cage match which will always be remembered because Mark was screwed over due to the cage being "indestructable" and once helped into the ring by several referess he subsequently destroyed Dave Batista which is like godlike and then he gave the audience a real treat by acting out a scene from his summer blockbuster but on top of the steel cage.


http://youtube.com/watch?v=2m0bAWU4gKk

- Evidence that the cage was truly indestructable

Tazz: "He can't do nothing, they're in a cage"

     Yeah right he can't do nothing, they're in a steel cage"


http://www.wwe.com/superstars/smackdown/markhenry/videos1/videos/

- MNM vs. Batista & Rey Mysterio in a Steel Cage Match to view the epic moment over and over


His Path of Destruction

Ever since the night of his return Mark has destroyed anyone who has stood in his way either by beating the creative team until they put him on the show or by actually injuring the companies major stars. The list of Marks victims is prolific at best with Batista, Rey, Kurt Angle, Himself and the late great and totally amazing Chris Benoit all being victims of a dangerous and hungry Mark Henry.


The Death of a Legend

Mark took Chris Benoits death heavier (yes, pun intended) than most did as they didn't want to make it seem like they care about a child murderer. However, Mark was horrified because it turned out it was Mark's birthday on that fateful sunday and Chris had promised to bring him a fresh pie, so he was understandably distraught at not receiving what he believes he is owed.


The Future

Mark has always made it known that he would love to be World Champion and with his imminent trade to Raw going through and the blessing in the form of John Cenas hopefully life threatening injury, it seems Marks dream could become a reality. Mark is also intrigued by this development because he has heard the WWE Title is normally edited by the holder and he has enquired to management about whether it could be made eatable to which they said no.

BELIEVE THE HYPE: http://youtube.com/watch?v=kqWkt6_GwUs


Filmography

King Kong (2005) Played Kong

Parkinson (2007) Played Himself

The Wonders of the Jungle (2007) Played Himself]

Me, Myself and Pierine (2008) Played Me and Myself

Hungry Fat Black Men Go Wild (2008) - Starred and Narrated


Past Songs

"In the Jungle"

"Sexual Chocoloate"

"Monkey Calls"

"Somebodys Gonna Get It"


Famous Quotes

"Are you gonna eat that" Mark Henry talking about a pie

"He was amazing" Mark Henry talking about the pie after eating it

"Chris gonna get his" Mark Henry upon finding out he wasn't getting a birthday pie


Accolades

"Worlds Strongest Man" (1995-Whenever WWE like)

European Champion (1)

Oscar (King Kong)