Marshall Mathers III

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“Marshall Mathers III? How do you expect to succeed with a name like that? ”

~ Oscar Wilde on Marshall Mathers III

“Who, me? I mean, uh, who's he? I mean, go away! ”

~ Eminem on Marshall Mathers III

Marshall Mathers III is at the very least a symbol of societal evolution. A black man born in Bergen oo Zoom, the Netherlands, he has been trying for decades to make a name for himself in the completely white-dominated realm of polka music.

Marshall usually goes by the name of III (Pronounced aye-en-aye-en-aye), or by the nickname given to him by his admittedly racist peers in middle school, "fettes glänzendes." A loose translation yields the meaning "bond servant", but at this writing the journalist doesn't know much Russian.

III has recorded no fewer than ten CD's. Regarding the third CD ("Das Erscheinen III"), which sold three copies, he is reported to have said "Wimmern!"

His tenth CD was released in November of 2005. The title, "Vorhang-Anruf", suggests that he expects it to be his last. However, his fan (Wolfgang Werner) speculates that this idea might just be a stunt pulled in an effort to duplicate his success with his third record.

[edit] Family

Marshall is generally accepted to be the son of his father, Marshall Mathers II. He is widely rumored to be the grandson of his grandfather, Marshall Mathers I. Skeptics are quick to point out that changing your first name and tacking on an "I" when your wife names her son after her "close and very platonic friend" seems more than a little desperate.

[edit] Music

Marshall is the leader of a small band of polka players. He is widely known for his active use of accordion riffs whilst dancing quickly. One person has noted with quiet respect that III wrote one of his polkas in 4/4 time--defining himself as a true experimental artist.

However, no one cares. Whether this is because III is black (as he would lament) or because polka sucks (as many would contend), the fact is that Marshall's artistic genius has been and will remain almost entirely unnoticed.

Not all the sky is dark in Marshall's direction, however. Eddie Blazonczyk, an American polka artist, is reported to have sworn loudly when told of III's sales on his third record. He is supposed to have added, "How did that nigga get so many sales?" Eddie's biggest selling record, "Polkapalooza," sold a total of eight copies, but it was a fluke according to most analysts. "Eddie himself bought four."