Marshmallow peeps

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Overview

Marshmallow Peeps are horrible, disgusting creatures that come from the same planet as the Oompa-Loompas. The Marshmallow Peeps feed on the flesh of Oompa-Loompas, though they really prefer the spleen; as any Peep worth his Marshmallow will tell you, the key to a peep's heart is through an Oompa-Loompa's spleen. They have been known to breed Oompa-Loompas for feeding, perverse sexual fantasies, and skeet. On occasion they will sell them as slaves to psychedelic candy factory proprietors.

History

Little is known about their history. Aside from the Oompa-Loompa Rebellion of 1939 and the invention of carbon paper, there has been little news from their secluded planet.

There has been some slight political tension, however. There is no extradition treaty between their homeworld and the glorious Earth; as a result, most political prisoners are sold and savagely consumed (often while living) by human youth. Others are tortured to death by exposure to intense microwave radiation; consumption typically follows. Ambassadors are currently negotiating a treaty which will, hopefully, prevent further unauthorized ingestion of prisoners.

Biology

They appear to exist as semi-solids consisting of marshmallow, sugar, gelatin, and carnauba. Their origins baffle scientists to this day. There appear to be no method of reproduction (asexual reproduction is generally assumed), nor is it evident how they feed. It is speculated that they can absorb solid materials directly into themselves. Digestion is also unkown, as is their nervous system.