Marvel Comics
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
- You may be looking for Ultimate Marvel Comics and not even know it! That's because you're just not geeky enough.
Marvel Comics, otherwise known as "Not-DC-Comics-which-is-totally-for-retards Comics" or "We-don't-know-how-to-write-good-comics-so-everybody-is-dark-and/or-mopey Comics" is a comic book company that mainly publishes books about the X-Men, a soap opera concerning people who can shoot laser beams from their eyes and makes absolutely no sense.
Marvel also occasionally publishes other titles such as Spider-Man, based on the 2007 film Spider-Man 3 about a tap dancing emo kid who can fly. As one of the top two comic book publishers in the US, its books are read by literally tens of rapidly aging fans every week.
Contents |
[edit] Continuity
Within the Marvel continuity, there are endless alternate universe scenarios, and so many super-beings, that one's head would asplode if they even tried to comprehend a fraction of the information. Additionally, most of the stuff that happens during the course of the trillions of issues, is totally random-ass crap that doesn't make any sense, unless you have purchased and read EVERY SINGLE ISSUE of that series, and of at least 5 other Marvel series that share the same title. And not to mention all the fan fiction you can read which usually consists of Peter finally doing it with Mary Jane. But who gives a shit anyway.
[edit] History
Marvel comics is most commonly known as "the not DC-comics." It was first founded in 1894. It went bankrupt in 1909. After it's shares were bought over by Nameless Ent, it was named Nameless Comics. However, it went bankrupt again in 1950. It's shares were then bought over by Aimless Ent, causing it to be renamed Aimless Comics. In 1989, it once again went broke. It's shares were bought over and it was renamed Fameless Comics. For several months, it was owned by Jesus, as a dare. In 1999, Mr. Mar Vell mass purchased the company shares, resulting in him domineering the company. It was then renamed Marvel Comics after Mar Vell. Since then, movies such as Scorpion-Man, Z-Men, Punch, Fear-Angel, Angel Rider, Bulk, Beelektra have been filmed.
[edit] Current Titles
Marvel Comics currently publishes several dozen "X-books," or books about the X-Men! The large number of X-books is justified, because it takes 5 to 6 issues for anything to happen! This is called "writing for trade!"
A few times they have accidentally printed other comics. 'Power Pack', which features two neglectful parents, 'Fantastic Four' which features two neglectful parents, 'Daredevil' which is so boring people have actually thrown up from boredom, 'Ghost Rider', which they try and make boring and 'Marvel Swimsuit Specials' which features the female characters in bikinis. And some of the guys in brief swimsuits. Not bikinis.
[edit] In Short
Marvel is the greatest comic book company out there. They also create many awe-inspiring movies and a few crappy ones. Marvel comics IS practically Stan Lee; the other guys are like unknown. Even the Creator isn't more famous the Stan Lee. One should achieve as much Marvel paraphanaleia as humanly or meta-humanly possible! Other titles include:
- Hulk
- Spider-Man
- Iron Man
- Deadpool
- Lego
- Dr. SeX
- Daredevil
- Igloo
- Rob Liefeld's Shaft!
- Galactus
- Aquaman
- Captain Complicate
In addition, they happen to have a large library of monthly titles. Which they will release again. In six months. With Ultimate in the front.
[edit] See also
