Masochist
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“Hurt me!”
~ Masochist on what he wants
“...No...”
~ Sadist on the above quote
“I used to enjoy masochism, but never as an alternative to good old fashioned bum!!!!!”
Masochists are people who love being hurt by themselves or others.
[edit] Beginnings
Most masochists know they're masochists at an early age. The common playground rhyme 'Sticks and stones may break my bones, but chains and whips excite me' is seen as an obvious example of young masochism. Masochists are especially spotted when young if Christian, for their failed attempts to apply the Golden Rule. Also if your child enjoys being spanked it may be a clue.
During adolesence most people go through a 'masochist phase' where they deliberately acquire acne, lose the ability to speak English, and get aroused at the wrong time so as to deny themselves sex. Women, especially, are prone to masochism during these years, and have been known to put needles in their ears, inject ink above their rump, and wear bondage clothing and pain-inducing foot clamps known as 'jeans and heels'.
[edit] Maturity
By a certain age most people experimenting in masochism give up on it, instead opting by their own volition to go work in a box pushing pencils and acting submissive to people who don't care about them, returing to their box at night and paying bills. Some, however, are natural masochists and continue to inflict pain on themselves by going to jobs in cubicles writing memos for bosses, returning to their apartments at night and paying bills.
Some masochists choose not to display signs of masochistic behavior in public because they're ashamed of themselves. These persons usually engage in masoschism in secret. Masochists are generally well accepted in society, but stigma can sometimes remain from ancient times, or certain religious orders.
[edit] Masochists Today
The popular Magazine Masochists Today enjoys a large readership base in the U.S. It is known for dispelling stereotypes about masochists and features a popular column called 'Did You Know...':
- ...30% of masochists prefer flagellations from riding-crops to whips?
- ...Charlie Brown was the first masochist portrayed in American newspapers?
“I'll kick the football this time...”
~ Charlie Brown on masochism
- ...Masochists reproduce by budding?
The magazine has come under some fire from masochists themselves for publishing in a July issue in 1998 the secret masochist's love-song:
I ache for the touch of your lips, dear,
But much more for the touch of your whips, dear.
You can raise welts
Like nobody else,
As we dance to the masochism tango.
Let our love be a flame, not an ember,
Say its me that you want to dismember.
Blacken my eye,
Set fire to my tie,
As we dance to the masochism tango.
At your command
Before you here I stand,
My heart is in my hand. ecch!
Its here that I must be.
My heart entreats,
Just hear those savage beats,
And go put on your cleats
And come and trample me.
Your heart is hard as stone or mahogany,
Thats why Im in such exquisite agony.
My soul is on fire,
Its aflame with desire,
Which is why I perspire
When we tango.
You caught my nose
In your left castanet, love,
I can feel the pain yet, love,
Evry time I hear drums.
And I envy the rose
That you held in your teeth, love,
With the thorns underneath, love,
Sticking into your gums.
Your eyes cast a spell that bewitches.
The last time I needed twenty stitches
To sew up the gash
That you made with your lash,
As we danced to the masochism tango.
Bash in my brain,
And make me scream with pain,
Then kick me once again,
And say well never part.
I know too well
I'm underneath your spell,
So, darling, if you smell
Something burning, its my heart.
Excuse me!
Take your cigarette from its holder,
And burn your initials in my shoulder.
Fracture my spine,
And swear that youre mine,
As we dance to the masochism tango.
See: Tom Lehrer
