Maxipad
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“I don't trust anything that bleeds for a week ev'ry month and doesn't die.”
~ Oscar Wilde on a tangent
New slimline maxipads are a boon to the busy housewife and her vagina. Also available in regular, super, wombo, and giantess
Maxipad is a womens personal intimate product that she uses for 'special times' to mop up the flood. During menstruation, also known as 'Microsoft syndrome', a woman can lose up to 20 pints of blood a day. In order to compensate for this, she must bleed the nearest man dry either by engagement, proposal, or marriage lest she be forced to squat in the nearest forest for 5 to 7 days.
In the past women had to make their own pads from old cloths, tree bark, or sheep. Now there are many designs of pads to choose from, or a woman can insert a tampon instead.
[edit] Different designs of maxipad
Any woman who's visited a Walmart in recent years is well aware of the fact that maxipad aisles now comprise 2/3's of the entire store. Many women claim that due to the mind boggling selection of maxipad styles and sizes, it now takes more time to select a maxipad than to buy a pair of jeans. In order to avoid undue exacerbation of PMS, most health authorities now advise taking several boxes of maxipads to the dressing room in order to try them on first, or if pressed for time, reading the following summary by Consumer Reports:
- Lunapads - These are made from fabric and are washable, very handy for women who like to wash blood soaked rags every hour.
- Waffles - This breakfast snack is highly absorbent, soft, and comfortable, a very versatile pad for the career woman 'on the go'.
- Bachelor Pad™ - A pad made from recycled bachelors, sometimes referred to as "Soylent sanitary napkin".
- Raw fish - A long slim piece of raw fish will be beneficial to women in that it will mask an unsightly odor emanating from her minge.
- Very small Manta Rays - The 'winged design' acts to adhere to delicate skin, keeping the thrashing, annoyed manta ray in place. As above, the very small manta ray has a pleasant fishy odour to mask the gross
[edit] See also
[edit] External Links
- Lunapads Washable maxipads, if you can stomach it.
